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    So I've been with this guy for almost 5 months now, and everything's great, we're really in love. But the problem is that he lives 3000+ miles away, and so things are starting to get hard because of the distance. I don't mean hard as in we want to break up (quite opposite actually, he's trying to find a way to come live with me), but hard as in we're constantly depressed about how far away we are from each other.

    How do you deal with this? Is there any way to make it easier? What can I do to help him feel less down, and how can I make myself feel less down?
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    (Original post by study101)
    So I've been with this guy for almost 5 months now, and everything's great, we're really in love. But the problem is that he lives 3000+ miles away, and so things are starting to get hard because of the distance. I don't mean hard as in we want to break up (quite opposite actually, he's trying to find a way to come live with me), but hard as in we're constantly depressed about how far away we are from each other.

    How do you deal with this? Is there any way to make it easier? What can I do to help him feel less down, and how can I make myself feel less down?
    Wow 3000 miles that is tough, but I have known people manage it. I guess we do have this day an age where we have skype and social network etc but still difficult. Guess in between times try and keep yourself busy with friends and other hobbies.
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    (Original post by study101)
    So I've been with this guy for almost 5 months now, and everything's great, we're really in love. But the problem is that he lives 3000+ miles away, and so things are starting to get hard because of the distance. I don't mean hard as in we want to break up (quite opposite actually, he's trying to find a way to come live with me), but hard as in we're constantly depressed about how far away we are from each other.

    How do you deal with this? Is there any way to make it easier? What can I do to help him feel less down, and how can I make myself feel less down?
    A couple of family friends got married last year. They had previously lived in Brazil and Yorkshire. It can work.

    Try scheduling time to Skype each other. There isn't really much you can do except move closer together.

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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Wow 3000 miles that is tough, but I have known people manage it. I guess we do have this day an age where we have skype and social network etc but still difficult. Guess in between times try and keep yourself busy with friends and other hobbies.
    I know, 3000 miles is horrid. But I've never felt this way about a person and I'm willing to do anything to keep it working, that isn't necessarily the issue though. The issue is feeling so down about not being with him.

    I try to keep myself busy, but I find most times that I'm forcing myself to have fun/socialise when it's the last thing I want to do. I just I want to talk to him all the time.
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    (Original post by Katty3)
    A couple of family friends got married last year. They had previously lived in Brazil and Yorkshire. It can work.

    Try scheduling time to Skype each other. There isn't really much you can do except move closer together.

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    You don't understand how happy that makes me to know people have gone through this before and found success in it. I really I want to marry him one day.

    We Skype all the time (like 4+ hours a day), and we've been doing that for months. But we still seem to feel so depressed and lonely when the call finishes. I guess you're right, and I just don't know when that's gonna happen
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    I think if it actually makes you depressed you should stop and think about if it's really worth it. Do the good times outweigh the bad?

    I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for the last two and a half years, we're at different universities and see each other around once a month, which isn't too bad really! But I know it really isn't easy.

    I know how hard it can be but you need to put your wellbeing first and keep reassessing if it's worth it.

    If it is then that's great but if the relationship brings you down more than it makes you happy then you need to think what's the point? Relationships should make you happy.
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    Just focus on the next date that you will see each other, and use each day and each skype session as a count down towards it. Another day over means another day closer to seeing each other again.
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    My ex partner and I lived over 4000 miles apart and we made it work for a year and a half. The most important thing is to meet him face to face, have you done that yet or has your relationship so far been just online? It's definitely hard being so far apart but it also shows you how committed you both are to making it work.
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    (Original post by Olive95)
    I think if it actually makes you depressed you should stop and think about if it's really worth it. Do the good times outweigh the bad?

    I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for the last two and a half years, we're at different universities and see each other around once a month, which isn't too bad really! But I know it really isn't easy.

    I know how hard it can be but you need to put your wellbeing first and keep reassessing if it's worth it.

    If it is then that's great but if the relationship brings you down more than it makes you happy then you need to think what's the point? Relationships should make you happy.
    Thank you so much for your reply.

    To be honest I can't see myself with anyone apart from him, and I'd rather be miserable for the time being, but I know in the end it will pay off so well when we eventually live together or are in the same city. He means literally everything to me, so we're making it work but I guess we both just need to man-up a bit and hope that the distance doesn't last too long.
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    (Original post by TeaWolf)
    Just focus on the next date that you will see each other, and use each day and each skype session as a count down towards it. Another day over means another day closer to seeing each other again.
    hahaha we have that, we have a calendar and everything, counting down the days. Somedays we're okay, other days we both just burst into tears because the next time we can see each other would probably be a year from now.
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    My ex partner and I lived over 4000 miles apart and we made it work for a year and a half. The most important thing is to meet him face to face, have you done that yet or has your relationship so far been just online? It's definitely hard being so far apart but it also shows you how committed you both are to making it work.
    I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out at the end

    Yes, we've seen each other face to face several times, and we've always had feelings for each other but it was only during the summer of 2015 where we pushed things to the next level and got into a serious relationship. I also went to see him in december and stayed with him for a month. So being back home and not being with him is torture for me.

    There's no question about commitment, but I just don't want him to feel so low, it breaks my heart to see him like that.
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    (Original post by study101)
    I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out at the end

    Yes, we've seen each other face to face several times, and we've always had feelings for each other but it was only during the summer of 2015 where we pushed things to the next level and got into a serious relationship. I also went to see him in december and stayed with him for a month. So being back home and not being with him is torture for me.

    There's no question about commitment, but I just don't want him to feel so low, it breaks my heart to see him like that.
    Thanks, don't be disheartened though - it had nothing to do with the distance. Some people adapt better than others and it sounds like your guy isn't adapting so well. It's good that you've spent a lot of time together in a living environment, it shows it could work if you do decide to move in together or something like that. Have you guys talked about who would move where? If he's really struggling then discuss it at length and find a solution, even if the solution is that you both agree to stay LD for x amount of time and then make a move in x months or something, just having a solid plan of action that shows this current state isn't forever will make him feel better I think.
 
 
 
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