I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years a couple of months ago, we met at school and he is the only boyfriend I have ever had.
I messaged a friend who I hadn't spoken to in a year or so just to catch up. She has now taken it upon herself to 'set me up' with one of her boyfriends friends.
The thing is I don't really want to be with anyone at the moment, I'm happy with just being on my own for now. He seems like a nice enough person but I just don't see myself being with him. He's started messaging me now though saying he 'wants to get to know me better' and I don't know what to do, I'm worried that I'll never find anyone else, but don't feel ready for another relationship at the moment and like I said don't see myself being with him, I feel so awful for thinking that but that's just how I feel.
I just want to focus on myself for the next few months and have a good time with friends and go out ect.
So I don't really know what to do or tell him....
Any advice would be much appreciated
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- Thread Starter
- 15-02-2016 18:59
- 15-02-2016 19:14
Just send him a message a long the lines of "I'm sorry my friend thought it would be a good idea to set me up with you, but I'm honestly not ready to date as I've very recently got out of a long term relationship. I hope you understand, and I'm sorry my friend put us both in this awkward situation, you seem like a great guy it's just too soon for me. "
You've done nothing wrong here and you've got nothing to feel bad or guilty about, and your friend (in my opinion) was way out of line for catapulting you into this situation. If he is a decent guy he won't get angry or defensive at you, though he might be a bit disheartened if he was really interested in you, but there is nothing you can do about that so don't feel bad about it.
- 16-02-2016 03:09
Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you broke up after 4 years.....that must be devastating. Don't feel bad for not being into this new guy, listen to your heart dear; you can't force yourself to be in a relationship just because you're worried "that you won't find someone else", because ultimately, this would lead to bad relationship, and you really don't want that! Rightly so, you mentioned you want to be with your friends and concentrate on yourself, so just focus on that, the right person will come along it just takes time, there will be so many people you will be attracted to deeply in the future i promise.
As for what to say to this guy, you must be open sooner rather than later, because he may get attached to you and if you were to tell him later he may get hurt. Furthermore, its so important that you do whatever you want to do in life, if you don't want to be with him, tell him in a nice way, why you're not ready for a relationship, how your friend tried to set you up, because if he is nice enough, he will understand your situation. Perhaps mention that you can still be friends if you want to. Tell him about the situation about you first relationship, and how you want to be by yourself. I know its hard telling him, but it must be done And of course if he's upset, be there for him, or you can tell your friend so she can be there for him and support him.
Best of luck!