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Does, I'm not sure mean, 'I'm not sure' or 'I'm trying to let you down gently'? Watch

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    Went on a couple of dates/ sleepovers. I fudged things up by saying some intense things and freaked him out (it's been a while since I was ready to date...). He backed off, but was still up to going on a date last week heavily hinting if it was in public I was exhausted and just wanted to stay in bed (and didn't pick up on his hints) and watch a film and he'd agreed, then stood me up. so yeah our last date never happened. He apologised by text eventually but said he needed to clear his head. I thanked him for his apology but told him i'd rather he'd just cancelled/ been honest. Now in his last text.. he said he's not sure about things still, and he's not feeling great (possibly eluding to a mental health problem, i've noticed he has insomnia) and he's not sure it's fair to involve someone else with it.

    I don't know if he's a. not sure and needs reassurance that I can handle his problems. or b. he is sure he doesn't want another date but wants to spare my feelings and that's why he's being excusey. I'm so confused what to reply. I also feel a bit like why do i even want him - he should be the one chasing me after cancelling/ doing a nice gesture to convince me to go another date, not cryptic texting! Help?
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    I read through these threads and i get to the end and im like "well, i have no idea"

    But here i go:

    Him being not sure could be why hes not chasing you. If you want him still, ask him out for another public date. Take things easy, slow down perhaps, establish you like each other from public, low pressure dates and go from there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I also feel a bit like why do i even want him - he should be the one chasing me after cancelling/ doing a nice gesture to convince me to go another date, not cryptic texting! Help?
    He's not going to do that if you've scared him off by being overly intense though. I would suggest pulling back, not making first moves like texts/calls or whatever, basically just chill out and show him you're not going to be a crazy intense bunny boiler. Let him make the moves if he wants to, being clingy is only going to push him further away when he's already indicated he doesn't like that
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    (Original post by Bern Herkins)
    I read through these threads and i get to the end and im like "well, i have no idea"

    But here i go:

    Him being not sure could be why hes not chasing you. If you want him still, ask him out for another public date. Take things easy, slow down perhaps, establish you like each other from public, low pressure dates and go from there.
    but surely that's being too forward as he's made it clear he needs space?

    Shouldn't i wait for him to initiate?
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    (Original post by infairverona)
    He's not going to do that if you've scared him off by being overly intense though. I would suggest pulling back, not making first moves like texts/calls or whatever, basically just chill out and show him you're not going to be a crazy intense bunny boiler. Let him make the moves if he wants to, being clingy is only going to push him further away when he's already indicated he doesn't like that
    so are you saying don't reply to that last text and see if he texts again?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but surely that's being too forward as he's made it clear he needs space?

    Shouldn't i wait for him to initiate?
    If it were me, I would give him a week or two of little contact, *im not saying no contact, just polite conversation. Then i would ask if he wanted to do something low pressure like get ice cream or something.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so are you saying don't reply to that last text and see if he texts again?
    I mean, I personally wouldn't reply. Him saying he doesn't want to involve someone else in whatever 'issues' he's got going on is either letting you down gently, or he just doesn't want to get you involved. Either way he's kind of hinting that you back off IMO. I wouldn't reply, and then see if he texts you again. If he doesn't, I would think he's letting you down gently. If he does text or asks why you haven't replied you can always just say you were giving him some space
 
 
 
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