I can't help but worry about everything I do, from normal things like having to talk to somebody on the phone to having to talk in front of groups of people, I am always over thinking everything and I feel so stupid! Some days I feel confident and I have no problem with doing these things but most days I struggle with it all.
I always keep everything to myself, I could never face someone and tell them how I really feel without feeling so stupid myself. I feel like I am always being judged by who I am or what I look like and because of this I only have 1 close friend but I can't even tell her or my family half of these things because they tell me I am being stupid about how shy I am and my family point it out and make fun of me and tell me to get over it as if it's so easy.
Because of how I am now I feel like I am never going to get anywhere in life and be who I want to be. The last time I had a boyfriend I was 16 and I can hardly call it a relationship. I get boys approaching me but I get so nervous and panicky and making a fool of myself.
I just feel so down with everything, I feel like i do everything for everyone else and not myself and I hate it so much, I hate these thoughts I have, I feel like a failure and can tell no one because I know they think I'm just being childish.
Loughborough at number one