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I don't think I'm very attracted to my boyfriend Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He feels intimidated by me because he keeps telling me I'm 'out of his league' and feels as though I will leave him for someone better looking, and told me he couldn't comprehend why I was with him when I could have someone better and it makes him insecure. He puts me on some kind of pedestal and shows pictures of me to his friends? I don't even believe in leagues and reassured him about everything. He seems to shy away from most decisions as he believes in letting me decide everything and control the whole relationship will satisfy me, it doesn't - it frustrates me. I suppose I'd prefer a more confident, dominant guy as opposed to my very passive, shy boyfriend. It was adorable at first, but not really when he withholds showing affection.
    So when your at each others houses you don't cuddle or kiss! i don't see why you are with him i know lots of guys with sweet personality but i wouldn't go out with them as there is no chemistry.
    Your relationship seems very dull and boring, what do you do together? and what is wrong with just being friends when he doesn't even treat you like a girlfriend? I think you need a chat with him pronto.
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    ok, explain to me the difference between this relationship and a friend? By the sounds of things, he's so awkward that your relationship is void.

    I hug my friends when I see them. At work in client meetings or work events we do "air kisses" ...by the sounds of things, I do more with people I'm not in a relationship with than he does with you!

    It's not about other couples holding hands...it's about anyone being physical with anything - he doesn't even walk beside you? Link arms with you? Does he feel awkward to be seen with you? It's never the "right time" to hug you? What exactly is he waiting for? If he wants privacy, go to a cinema, go to your houses - what will his excuse be there? He's clearly frigid, scared, immature and not ready for a relationship.

    You say that you don't want to break up with him - but let's say you do, and you want to continue your friendship... what would change, how different would you act? Nothing? Then what's stopping you from breaking up with him?

    If you don't want to hurt him, then tell him he needs to get his head into "relationship mode" , you're not his friend you're his girlfriend, and that THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
    Thank you you're right about the friends part, I do agree that right now this relationship IS a friendship, not a relationship except for the loveydovey affection he gives me over text only. I did discuss his whole 'I'm not hugging you, too awkward' when it happened, and I told him it isn't awkward because friends hug all the time when they meet, nobody cares if two people are hugging in public because quite frankly, I'm sure they've got better things to do. It did knock some sense into him I hope, and no he doesn't link arms with me, kiss me goodbye or anything as much as I'd love that, and it made me drift away from him a bit because I knew he just wouldn't give me affection, and then I crave it elsewhere because I'm not really satisfied. :/

    Sometimes I feel like I'd be fine if I broke up with him, I'm quite independent, I have my own hobbies and uni to focus on so I'd probably just delve into that and not dwell into it too much. He was on holiday for a week with no wifi, we didn't communicate and I just didn't miss him. I barely thought about him and I function really well on my own. My boyfriend once told me if I was to break up with, he'd be very depressed, and he wouldn't be able to keep a friendship with me, so if I break up with him, I've lost him altogether.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    So when your at each others houses you don't cuddle or kiss! i don't see why you are with him i know lots of guys with sweet personality but i wouldn't go out with them as there is no chemistry.
    Your relationship seems very dull and boring, what do you do together? and what is wrong with just being friends when he doesn't even treat you like a girlfriend? I think you need a chat with him pronto.
    He isn't interested in going back to friendship, he already told me a few months ago that if this relationship ended, he wouldn't be able to keep in contact with me as it would hurt too much. We just hang out literally as friends would. We go out to places but keep it platonic. If I chat to him, I know he'll freak out and get quite emotional, but I will talk to him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He isn't interested in going back to friendship, he already told me a few months ago that if this relationship ended, he wouldn't be able to keep in contact with me as it would hurt too much. We just hang out literally as friends would. We go out to places but keep it platonic. If I chat to him, I know he'll freak out and get quite emotional, but I will talk to him.
    There must be something wrong with him?
    If he wants a relationship with you then i don't see why he wouldn't cuddle you or show affection its weird. If i was out with someone like him would find it very draining and i would feel unfulfilled.
    You need to talk to him and say that he treats you like a friend rather than a lover and it needs to change and if he dosen't change then you have to leave him.
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    Looks don't matter much.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend once told me if I was to break up with, he'd be very depressed, and he wouldn't be able to keep a friendship with me, so if I break up with him, I've lost him altogether.
    NO. He's lost you.

    You have given him numerous chances, talked to him plenty of times about this. If he still hasn't got the balls to even hug you, then he's making the decision for you. Be strict and frank about it.

    Breaking up is never easy. There will never be a right time. He may be upset etc - but he isn't making you happy, think of yourself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you you're right about the friends part, I do agree that right now this relationship IS a friendship, not a relationship except for the loveydovey affection he gives me over text only. I did discuss his whole 'I'm not hugging you, too awkward' when it happened, and I told him it isn't awkward because friends hug all the time when they meet, nobody cares if two people are hugging in public because quite frankly, I'm sure they've got better things to do. It did knock some sense into him I hope, and no he doesn't link arms with me, kiss me goodbye or anything as much as I'd love that, and it made me drift away from him a bit because I knew he just wouldn't give me affection, and then I crave it elsewhere because I'm not really satisfied. :/

    Sometimes I feel like I'd be fine if I broke up with him, I'm quite independent, I have my own hobbies and uni to focus on so I'd probably just delve into that and not dwell into it too much. He was on holiday for a week with no wifi, we didn't communicate and I just didn't miss him. I barely thought about him and I function really well on my own. My boyfriend once told me if I was to break up with, he'd be very depressed, and he wouldn't be able to keep a friendship with me, so if I break up with him, I've lost him altogether.
    Sit down with him and say all you've written in this thread [even if you've done so before] explain how you feel, and you want him to hug you, once a day and so on. If nothing changes then be honest that you should call it a day, who knows this might give him a boost or not.
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    I've read a your responses OP and this clearly doesn't sound like a relationship.You two are just friends with a title, I mean even friends hug don't they :/...?
    I understand why you don't want to leave but for how long are you doing to stay in this 'relationship'?.Sooner or later you'll get frustrated & sick of it.Sometimes in life you have to put yourself & your needs first because nobody else will.


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