One of my hobbies is writing and I've been doing it for a while. This is the first story I actually posted online though and I was wondering what people thought of it. Thanks in advance
Turn on thread page Beta
Could I get any feedback on my short story? watch
- Thread Starter
- 16-02-2016 19:41
- 17-02-2016 21:57
are you deliberately using a very casual and conversation like language in this piece of writing? cause when I read the first paragraph it feels like it........and I do think the first paragraph do set the tone, pace and the atmosphere for the rest of the story.
- 17-02-2016 22:04
sorry to be honest if I am to read it for entertainment, I would lose interest quite soon, because don't think the words and sentences flow well and link together enough to create any visual movement or feelings in it. I think it would have been much better if you put more descriptions of places, feelings, and my favourite friend - connectives in it. You can also try using different linguistic devices such as similie and metaphor or personification, just to exagerate somethings and make it more engaging for the audiences.
- 27-02-2016 20:11
Hi, I'll be replying to you on Wattpad, I apologise if I appear too critical at any point