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Not sure if I will ever find a boyfriend, should I just settle for an FWB with... Watch

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    Someone I don't really like?

    I've only had one boyfriend who dumped me within a few weeks as he wanted to sleep with other women. I've been abstinent from sex for years waiting for the right one. However I don't really get asked out and when I ask guys out they reject me. I'm well into my 20s and the evidence pretty much shows that I'm not the kind of girl that guys ever fall for, and just not really good enough in any guys eyes.

    I'm wondering if I should just give up and find a guy who I get along with but don't really like that much for a friends with benefits type arrangement. How do ~I go about this? Because I don't think I will ever find a boyfriend or anyone who likes me.

    What do you think? Do you have any advice?
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    Do you really want/need sex that much? FWB gives you the physical side of a relationship (to an extent) but not the emotional. Is that what you're looking for? Its pretty illogical to just give up on all relationships just because you've been rejected thus far but that's just me. Are you sure you're not being too picky with the guys you go for?
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Do you really want/need sex that much? FWB gives you the physical side of a relationship (to an extent) but not the emotional. Is that what you're looking for? Its pretty illogical to just give up on all relationships just because you've been rejected thus far but that's just me. Are you sure you're not being too picky with the guys you go for?
    Consider it's been like 4 years yes I feel I do. I'm looking for more than sex but I don't really think I'm going to find it. Sex is easy to find of course, not to say I would have sex with anyone but just someone who I can't see myself being compatitible with for whatever reason. I was actually thinking of going for a younger guy for that reason.

    That's interesting, peeople assume I go for the jocks and 'alpha' types males but that couldn't be further from the truth, those men intimidate and turn me off. I actually go for the nerdy, slightly awkward men who usually don't get much attention from women as I find them to be sweeter and have a good connection with them. But in the end they don't even want me and it knocks my confidence twice as hard. I'm at a loss
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Consider it's been like 4 years yes I feel I do. I'm looking for more than sex but I don't really think I'm going to find it. Sex is easy to find of course, not to say I would have sex with anyone but just someone who I can't see myself being compatitible with for whatever reason. I was actually thinking of going for a younger guy for that reason.

    That's interesting, peeople assume I go for the jocks and 'alpha' types males but that couldn't be further from the truth, those men intimidate and turn me off. I actually go for the nerdy, slightly awkward men who usually don't get much attention from women as I find them to be sweeter and have a good connection with them. But in the end they don't even want me and it knocks my confidence twice as hard. I'm at a loss
    Are you the anon from the other thread about how their parents were married at their age (25)?

    I wouldn't give up, I think you just haven't found the right guy yet. Maybe try dating some different types of men and seeing how you get on, you have nothing to lose and you might surprise yourself. Try some online dating apps (safely), go speed dating, meet men at bars with your friends? Don't limit yourself to a specific type and see what happens? Sounds a lot better than just looking for a guy to sleep with for a bit. Respect yourself enough to wait for what you really want (love).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Consider it's been like 4 years yes I feel I do. I'm looking for more than sex but I don't really think I'm going to find it. Sex is easy to find of course, not to say I would have sex with anyone but just someone who I can't see myself being compatitible with for whatever reason. I was actually thinking of going for a younger guy for that reason.

    That's interesting, peeople assume I go for the jocks and 'alpha' types males but that couldn't be further from the truth, those men intimidate and turn me off. I actually go for the nerdy, slightly awkward men who usually don't get much attention from women as I find them to be sweeter and have a good connection with them. But in the end they don't even want me and it knocks my confidence twice as hard. I'm at a loss
    http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...84/534/18c.png
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    (Original post by Katarvi)
    Are you the anon from the other thread about how their parents were married at their age (25)?

    I wouldn't give up, I think you just haven't found the right guy yet. Maybe try dating some different types of men and seeing how you get on, you have nothing to lose and you might surprise yourself. Try some online dating apps (safely), go speed dating, meet men at bars with your friends? Don't limit yourself to a specific type and see what happens? Sounds a lot better than just looking for a guy to sleep with for a bit. Respect yourself enough to wait for what you really want (love).
    Yes indeed that was me who posted that thread too. It's not that I want to be married at my age but I thought I would have at least had something fairly long term by this age. I don't think I stand much chance of marrying if I can't even get a serious relationship on a basic level.

    You're right I should wait but I don't really feel like I'm worth it, it's getting really difficult. Because believe I most likely continue to be alone long term, sometimes I feel I should just have some fun before I die.

    In terms of bars, I do go to them sometimes but tend to leave before 10pm and I don't drink. I'm weary of the men there only been after one thing, hump and dump, but perhaps I need to me more open minded. I suppose I'm scared of being hurt and disposed of like trash. Also my social skills may need some work now that my confidence has been knocked.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes indeed that was me who posted that thread too. It's not that I want to be married at my age but I thought I would have at least had something fairly long term by this age. I don't think I stand much chance of marrying if I can't even get a serious relationship on a basic level.

    You're right I should wait but I don't really feel like I'm worth it, it's getting really difficult. Because believe I most likely continue to be alone long term, sometimes I feel I should just have some fun before I die.

    In terms of bars, I do go to them sometimes but tend to leave before 10pm and I don't drink. I'm weary of the men there only been after one thing, hump and dump, but perhaps I need to me more open minded. I suppose I'm scared of being hurt and disposed of like trash. Also my social skills may need some work now that my confidence has been knocked.
    It really sounds like the issue here is your self-confidence. I've been there myself - I was 21 and feeling **** and down on myself and very nearly entered into a FWB situation with someone that I found attractive (but didn't see a relationship with) and I am ridiculously relieved that I didn't. I would have lost so much self respect for myself and would have felt used and dirty. You might be consenting to it and think you know what you're getting yourself in for but it doesn't mean you won't feel cheap and like **** afterwards. You want a relationship, clearly. Don't settle for anything less. Work on your self-esteem, learn to value yourself and what you have to offer a guy and then whoever he is will be lucky to have you. It sounds boring and hard and it requires patience but you will be happier in the long run because it's what you want (as you've said).

    Guys are attracted to confidence, to women who know what they want and go for it.
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    Don't sell yourself short girl!
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    No offence but why are you so good a guy should wait?

    That is likely the logic here. If they want sex they are better elsewhere.

    What about other qualities? Are you funny? Caring? Smart?
 
 
 
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