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Why doesn't my housemate wake me up when we have the same lecture? Watch

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    I am by no means saying it's her responsibility to, and I am deeply ashamed that I often sleep through my early alarms... but when we live in the same house surely it can't be that hard to knock and ask 'are you coming to the lecture?' once a week. Especially since she will try to make me feel bad for not going.... if she cared that much she could and would have woken me up? I feel like she secretly uses me to boost her self esteem because I recently have had low motivation; but the lack of praise and encouragement I've had with anything I've done ever is the reason my motivation is so low. Most people need a minor reward system at least, but I have no one to say 'well done', or 'I think you could do that' to me. Whenever I've enjoyed anything, from acting to film making, art to cooking, people have assumed I can't do it before they've even seen me do it! I have been insulted a lot over the years....and I mean a LOT, no one even liked my status when I got into uni, but a few friends I hadn't seen since high school claimed my degree wasn't a real degree anyway because of the subject choice. I'm tired of sucking up to everyone constantly... I pretty much never stick up for myself, I laugh even when people say the most hurtful things , and inside I feel like I'm dying- because when everyone you know gets so much praise and likes on facebook for everything they do and you get ignored, mocked or insulted for anything you do or are thinking of doing you just start to feel bitter. It doesn't motivate me at all. It really sometimes feels like everything is working against me and if I could live on my own I'd be able to work a routine and have more freedom to get things done and reward myself. I almost find it painful to be around people I know don't really care or want me to have happiness or success. I'd like to say I'm over thinking, but sadly I don't think I am.
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    The point of this thread was you wanted your housemate to wake you up for a lecture, and then you say you'd prefer to live alone.

    Yes, I feel like you're overthinking.
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    It's not her problem if you don't get up on time for lectures. You're really overthinking this. You claim that having a roommate is what's stopping you from developing a routine and that you'd rather live on your own, but at the same time you want her to wake you up for your lectures. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

    You need to take responsibility for your own life and get a louder alarm that will wake you up, and if you want a routine then you need to develop one. Your life is your responsibility.
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    There will be a day, hopefully for you sooner rather than later, when you realise you genuinely don't give two ****s about Facebook likes, petty insults or what people may or may not think about you, and that it doesn't matter if these types of people are in your life or not. You'll come across nicer people, people you care about more and want to be around more.
    You'll also just get on with things, realise it's not anyone else's responsibility to look after you or praise you, but down to you to be the responsible one and do things that earn deserved praise.

    Start focusing on what you want to do, not what you want other people to see. Enjoy that day when it comes!
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    You need to take responsibility for your whole life not just getting up in the morning. Motivation to do things and stick with them is not other people's fault for not supporting you enough it's yours for being lazy. As is missing your lecture. I wouldn't wake you up either. I'd assume you're an adult and can make your own decisions about whether to come to lectures. I would also be thinking that I didn't want to piss you off by waking you up when you wanted to sleep or end up being late myself because I was waiting for you to get dressed etc.
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    I wouldn't wake people up if they were in my lectures either lol

    One less person means that extra 5% of attention can be shared with the class lol, if your not there to ask any irrelevant questions, thats one more potentially helpful question that can be asked by someone else

    Thats me though, the people in my Uni were c*nts and were happy to be so, we didnt help each other and were very competitive, almost asthough we were leaving and all apply for the same position in the same company
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    (Original post by CJ)
    There will be a day, hopefully for you sooner rather than later, when you realise you genuinely don't give two ****s about Facebook likes, petty insults or what people may or may not think about you, and that it doesn't matter if these types of people are in your life or not. You'll come across nicer people, people you care about more and want to be around more.
    You'll also just get on with things, realise it's not anyone else's responsibility to look after you or praise you, but down to you to be the responsible one and do things that earn deserved praise.

    Start focusing on what you want to do, not what you want other people to see. Enjoy that day when it comes!
    I've had this and i don't give a **** what anyone thinks about me anymore xD
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    You're overthinking. you're an adult now, and what you're saying is your flatmate is treating you like one.
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    (Original post by Helloworld_95)
    you're an adult now, .
    I think you may have made an assumption there that isn't true.
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    You're a grown woman who should wake up yourself

    (Original post by whywhywhytellme)
    I am by no means saying it's her responsibility to, and I am deeply ashamed that I often sleep through my early alarms... but when we live in the same house surely it can't be that hard to knock and ask 'are you coming to the lecture?' once a week. Especially since she will try to make me feel bad for not going.... if she cared that much she could and would have woken me up? I feel like she secretly uses me to boost her self esteem because I recently have had low motivation; but the lack of praise and encouragement I've had with anything I've done ever is the reason my motivation is so low. Most people need a minor reward system at least, but I have no one to say 'well done', or 'I think you could do that' to me. Whenever I've enjoyed anything, from acting to film making, art to cooking, people have assumed I can't do it before they've even seen me do it! I have been insulted a lot over the years....and I mean a LOT, no one even liked my status when I got into uni, but a few friends I hadn't seen since high school claimed my degree wasn't a real degree anyway because of the subject choice. I'm tired of sucking up to everyone constantly... I pretty much never stick up for myself, I laugh even when people say the most hurtful things , and inside I feel like I'm dying- because when everyone you know gets so much praise and likes on facebook for everything they do and you get ignored, mocked or insulted for anything you do or are thinking of doing you just start to feel bitter. It doesn't motivate me at all. It really sometimes feels like everything is working against me and if I could live on my own I'd be able to work a routine and have more freedom to get things done and reward myself. I almost find it painful to be around people I know don't really care or want me to have happiness or success. I'd like to say I'm over thinking, but sadly I don't think I am.
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    set the alarm on your phone. that's what i do
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    It's not her problem if you don't get up on time for lectures. You're really overthinking this. You claim that having a roommate is what's stopping you from developing a routine and that you'd rather live on your own, but at the same time you want her to wake you up for your lectures. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

    You need to take responsibility for your own life and get a louder alarm that will wake you up, and if you want a routine then you need to develop one. Your life is your responsibility.
    I think you might actually be one of the best posters on this site.

    Your posts are always very balanced, thoughtful and you come across as mature beyond your age.

    Kudos.
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    You're putting far too much weight on what other people think of you. Facebook likes are not the be all and end all and fact of life is sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader, cause it isn't anyone elses job to do it for you. Stop relying on other people as a source of motivation and learn to provide it for yourself. You'll be a lot happier.
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    Based on title,

    That's just awkward 😂😂😂
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    I understand the first part it really wouldn't be difficult for them to knock on your door and ask if you were coming along.. not everything has to be a competition. My housemates would come and knock for me, it can be as simple as making sure you're okay because some people need a little boost of motivation every now and then.
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    I used to have the same lecture with a former flatmate last year. We met in the kitchen for breakfast and then we left together.
    Sometimes it happened that he didn't show up and I went by myself. Honestly, I used to think that maybe he had been awake until late or had simply decided to not attend class that day so I didn't knock at his door and so he did other times with me.
    I've never considered that a bad habit since for both the idea to wake up the other, without knowing if he wanted to be waken up, was quite rude.
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    (Original post by CJ)
    There will be a day, hopefully for you sooner rather than later, when you realise you genuinely don't give two ****s about Facebook likes, petty insults or what people may or may not think about you, and that it doesn't matter if these types of people are in your life or not. You'll come across nicer people, people you care about more and want to be around more.
    You'll also just get on with things, realise it's not anyone else's responsibility to look after you or praise you, but down to you to be the responsible one and do things that earn deserved praise.

    Start focusing on what you want to do, not what you want other people to see. Enjoy that day when it comes!
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    (Original post by Satanas)
    I think you might actually be one of the best posters on this site.

    Your posts are always very balanced, thoughtful and you come across as mature beyond your age.

    Kudos.
    Ahh thank you, that's so kind actually feel a little bit embarrassed now haha
 
 
 
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