Another post from that cringeworthy, year 8 blog. Honestly, why did I write it? 😂
Hey I decided to start a blog😂 Pretty cool huh? Was told that I should start a blog online, seeing as that’s what most people are doing these days. I’m a boss ass b**ch blogger, jokes I have never written a blog post before, so be kind to me readers!. One thing you should know about me, I think I’m funny when I’m really not. I have nothing else to do with my life so I’m going to try this. I’m a bit of an outcast you see. Well more like a proper outcast.Quick note – I nearly chucked my ipad across my room whilst writing this. My ipad decided to die whilst I was halfway through. Like do you mind ipad? iPads aren’t even meant to die on 5% arghh, was so annoyed as I had to restart. But I’m passionate about blogging, so I will not fall down at any obstacles in my way. Why did I just say that?😂I have been quite socially awkward since a young age, I have tried to ignore it by being overly happy and positive. I may be fooling people but not myself. These are my tales about being a socially inept, private school girl. My guides and stories on how I survive life. My goal is to find people on here who can relate, getting to know people who have experienced my situations.Ever since I was born I haven’t fit in. I swear as soon as I was brought into the world my destiny was to have a challenging time belonging. I guess I was made to be different. In nursery when everyone was addicted to drawing and painting, I was the kid obsessed with playing in the sandpit and dressing in tiger costumes, all by myself. Once I insisted to go in the sandpit whilst wearing the costume.. didn’t go to well. I was the only child in the nursery who was quite happy doing my own thing, the only person who wanted to go to the toilet and do things by themselves. The children at my nursery were very adamant about going to the toilet in pairs.. Don’t ask why. But now being a teenager, it is seen as lame to hang out by yourself. It is like it’s expected to always have a group of people around you, always communicating and socialising. Legitimately hell.As I grew up my parents decided that sending me to a single sex school was the best option. The only way that I would be able to focus on my academics. Results to them are all that matters.. apparently getting good results is all you need in order to be succesful in life. Ha that’s not true, you need to have good social skills and learn how to communicate with both genders – getting quite technical there. Lol I’m so screwed. During junior school, I first started to make sense of the fact that I didn’t fit in. In nursery no one really gave a damn. It was very hard for me. I just didn’t understand why I wasn’t popular and why people didn’t just instantly ‘like’ me. In year 4 I was labelled the ‘weird’ girl. Like I’m sorry fellow year 4 students, but I’m trying here to belong. I discovered how weird my humour was, how I dressed differently and completed general day to day activities in the opposite way to the majority of people. Yeah I cared about people’s opinions back then. It made me really unhappy, I also had to cope with my parents divorce back then. I had no one to talk to, no one to express to how I was feeling.. But that helped me fling myself back. I recently realises that it was fine to be individual and now to be honest at the end of the day I really don’t care. But junior school was the start of my social awkwardness.I currently attend one of the top private girls schools in the country, not bragging or anything. Nah don’t worry I’m not like that. I lack many things, but at least I can say that I’m grounded. I have no idea how I managed to get into this selective school, must be my dashing good looks. Ha jokes, I’m a Ming ah. No clue how to spell that😂 Okay now you are probably thinking about that massive mansion that I’m currently lounging in, surrounded by acres of land: having a numerous number of swimming pools, tennis courts and stables. You couldn’t be more wrong. I in fact live in a small two bedroom rental house. But house size doesn’t matter. Every day at school I am surrounded by groups of girls who like to create drama, to keep them entertained. Seeing as they are bored out of their minds with their own lives. Girls schools are known for being ‘cliquey.’ Except my school is exceptionally ‘cliquey’ There is an unspoken rule that once a friendship group is formed, no other girl shall be able to join it. The group is fixed for the rest of secondary school education. The rest of the group glare if an outsider attempts to start up a conversation with a member.I joined my school late, so I had no chance in joining a group and ‘fitting in’ I was doomed from the start. But it makes me laugh how socially awkward I am. Joking about it makes it seem slightly better. Don’t get me wrong I do speak to girls at school, but during lunch and breaks I traipse round and round the school. Whenever I spot someone in my year, I give them a polite wave and smile. Actually to be honest my wave is more eccentric than most peoples. I generally get ignored the first time, so being the lovely, caring person I am’ I repeat myself beginning to wave more franticly, whilst my ‘hellos’ increase in pitch. The girls at the recieving end look at me as if I have some sort of issue. The look that says ‘what exactly are you?’ Well I know I have an issue so that’s not really news to me. They then sort of run away giggling and muttering under their breath. Thinking that somehow I won’t be able to hear them.. Like excuse me female dogs but I have ears you know. I completely lack the skills of knowing how to socially greet people without being laughed at… I’d rather make a fool of myself then be seen as rude by not bothering to acknowledge people at all!My parents say that I should embrace my ‘individualism’ but how can I do that, with literally no friends to support me. I’m not complaining or anything, but tackling my differences which I can’t really control is difficult I must admit. My characteristics are inscribed into my genes. So yeah I’ve accept that I cannot change.Thanks for reading, I hope you managed to make some sense out of my jumbled up words. Please come back and read the stuff that I have yet to post! Lol I have so many awkward stories to share with you guys. Love you xo❤️