Can't get a girlfriend

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infumed
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#1
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Hi I was hoping someone on here could help me out. For a long time now, i've found it incredibly difficult to meet a girl. In fact, it's come to the point that i really have no idea what to do anymore. I consider myself an average to above average looking guy. I'm a doctor so i have good job and i'd say I'm pretty well off financially as well (at least until the new junior doc contracts are imposed). I try to go to the gym as much as possible, although it's difficult working as a surgical SHO as I'm pretty much always in the operating theatre. However, no matter what i do, or how many girls numbers i get (and tbh i don't get that many) i haven't been able to go on ANY dates. I'm 26 this year and i've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. It's frustrating because i see people all around me who make it seem incredibly easy and technically, something like meeting a girl and forming a relationship shouldn't be that hard in theory. I don't think it's got anything to do with confidence really, as i talk to SO many people on a daily basis, ranging from co-workers to the many hundreds of patients that i see in any given week. So my question is that, is there anything i can really do to boost my chances to get a girl. Although i never try to exhibit this is any of my interaction, i personally feel soo desperate for a girl that i would pretty much settle for any girl.
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Katarvi
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Women don't like desperation, we can smell it on a guy in an instant. Be more confident and quit the desperation.
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Satanas
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(Original post by infumed)
I consider myself an average to above average looking guy.
Post pics and we will help you confirm if you're right.
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infumed
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(Original post by Katarvi)
Women don't like desperation, we can smell it on a guy in an instant. Be more confident and quit the desperation.
Thats easier said than done when one hasn't ever been on a date. I understand where you're coming from but not finding a girl creates a vicious cycle of desperation lol. But tbh I'm pretty good at hiding the desperation, like i don't text girls more than once if they don't reply and i certainly don't do anything annoying
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infumed
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(Original post by Satanas)
Post pics and we will help you confirm if you're right.
lol thats obviously not gonna happen. Coz I'm a doctor and thats unprofessional
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Zarek
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In my experience it's about identifying and playing to your strengths and working on your weaknesses. And unless you are in the attractive set, which most aren't, dating takes hard work. Get a more able friend to be your coach, find some time for hobbies that you enjoy and increase contact with single women, work on appearance, dress sense and witty repartee. Ask people of a variety of attractiveness out. And most of all have patience and tenacity. Luck does come. By the way, I support you in the contract dispute. Good luck.
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Anonymous #1
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Date me...
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Mosmps1
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I am not sure if you have ever try this before because it is very obvious. I think if you really want to find the right girl for you it is better if your interests click together. So I think you can try going to places that have links with your hobbies not just because you want to look more attractive so you go, because I personally think it is easier to talk and be more interested to each other if we have the same thing we are very passionate about.

Hope you find someone soon. Good Luck!
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infumed
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(Original post by Zarek)
In my experience it's about identifying and playing to your strengths and working on your weaknesses. And unless you are in the attractive set, which most aren't, dating takes hard work. Get a more able friend to be your coach, find some time for hobbies that you enjoy and increase contact with single women, work on appearance, dress sense and witty repartee. Ask people of a variety of attractiveness out. And most of all have patience and tenacity. Luck does come. By the way, I support you in the contract dispute. Good luck.
Your support means a lot bro. Thanks
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Satanas
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(Original post by infumed)
lol thats obviously not gonna happen. Coz I'm a doctor and thats unprofessional
Translation: You're ugly and dont want your confidence shattered even more.
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whorace
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Even if you are ugly plenty of ugly fookers in relationships tbf, got to play to your strengths.
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Zarek
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(Original post by Satanas;[url="tel:62807665")
62807665[/url]]Translation: You're ugly and dont want your confidence shattered even more.
Mind you, his job's probably got more pulling power than yours..
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Anonymous #2
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First you have to identify a girl who you feel you like and can see yourself with in the future. Then, you start talking to them, you said confidence is not an issue so this should be fine. Talk to her as a friend and slowy build from there. If she likes you, you should get hints by the way she acts, for example, if she says something like "ahh have you seen deadpool yet? You haven't? I'd like to watch it at the cinemas". Here she is obviously hinting at something. When you feel you havea big enough bond, ask the question. Yes, itcould be nerve wracking since it will be your first time, but if you dont ask, you dont get! You don't have to be a great looking guy to get a woman, tgough if you look like me, everytyhing becomes easy lol just joking. Hope that helps
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Satanas
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(Original post by Zarek)
Mind you, his job's probably got more pulling power than yours..
Would appreciate if you could leave insulting me, to the person I am conversing with.
Kthnxbai
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infumed
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(Original post by Satanas)
Translation: You're ugly and dont want your confidence shattered even more.
No actually, professionalism is highly important. If you see me and read this forum and then one day I'm the doctor you or anyone else reading this thread sees, that can cause major issues for doctor-patient rapport. Besides, I'm asking for helpful hints or tips, not to be judged
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Katarvi
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(Original post by infumed)
Thats easier said than done when one hasn't ever been on a date. I understand where you're coming from but not finding a girl creates a vicious cycle of desperation lol. But tbh I'm pretty good at hiding the desperation, like i don't text girls more than once if they don't reply and i certainly don't do anything annoying
How quickly do you take to reply though? What people find annoying is very much different person to person so something you may find to be not annoying could be annoying to a girl, or a group of girls. It's easier said than done for sure, but try just relax and casually ask the next girl you find attractive out on a date. What have you got to lose? Go for it and see what happens. You could also try online dating apps (safely of course) or having a friend set you up with someone or something.
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Retired_Messiah
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If you reckon you'll settle for almost anything you may as well give tinder a bash.
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infumed
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First you have to identify a girl who you feel you like and can see yourself with in the future. Then, you start talking to them, you said confidence is not an issue so this should be fine. Talk to her as a friend and slowy build from there. If she likes you, you should get hints by the way she acts, for example, if she says something like "ahh have you seen deadpool yet? You haven't? I'd like to watch it at the cinemas". Here she is obviously hinting at something. When you feel you havea big enough bond, ask the question. Yes, itcould be nerve wracking since it will be your first time, but if you dont ask, you dont get! You don't have to be a great looking guy to get a woman, tgough if you look like me, everytyhing becomes easy lol just joking. Hope that helps
Tbh i've tried that and i usually get friend zoned. And the problem is that once you speak to a girl that you like and try to make her your friend, you invest SOO much emotionally into her that if she shoots you down and friend zones you, its almost impossible to walk away from that unharmed. I remember once i met this girl at uni and made friends with her over a few months. However, because i talked to her so much with the eventual view in mind that i will hopefully end up with this girl, i was almost convinced she would like me back. Therefore, when she said she "doesn't want to lose a friend" by going out with me, it hurt WAYY more than when i get rejected by asking a girl out point blank
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infumed
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#19
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(Original post by stefano865)
I'm actually a guy.

No homo.

Sorry.
Ahhh man. Just got rejected again today....lol
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username2324383
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You're still young, there's plenty of time to find someone

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