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    (Original post by samzy21)
    You're still young, there's plenty of time to find someone

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    Yh but ideally i want to be married by early 30s because i really want to play with my kids properly as they grow lol. For example, if i get married by late or even mid 30s and have kids soon after, by the time they're 10 (and able to play football or something) i'll be edging 50! And at that stage i don't know how much energy ill have to truly invest in them as they grow lol.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Tbh i've tried that and i usually get friend zoned. And the problem is that once you speak to a girl that you like and try to make her your friend, you invest SOO much emotionally into her that if she shoots you down and friend zones you, its almost impossible to walk away from that unharmed. I remember once i met this girl at uni and made friends with her over a few months. However, because i talked to her so much with the eventual view in mind that i will hopefully end up with this girl, i was almost convinced she would like me back. Therefore, when she said she "doesn't want to lose a friend" by going out with me, it hurt WAYY more than when i get rejected by asking a girl out point blank
    You need to take initiative. Never say that when you meet up with someone it isn't a date. Tease them. Don't make your intentions obvious, but still act like a good ****ing friend. Be benevolent. Be caring. Be thoughtful. And most importantly be confident. Even if you are ugly. It doesn't ****ing matter, because if you're confident and just a delight to be around girls will start to see you as attractive, even if objectively you ain't.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Ahhh man. Just got rejected again today....lol

    Don't worry bro.

    The only way is to put yourself out there.

    Tinder, hobbies, bars, pubs, cafes. Even if you have a tight schedule.

    Don't feel any shame if you have to resort to internet dating. That is how it works nowadays.

    Perhaps you are living in the wrong area. Obviously you will find more professional young women in bigger cities.

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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    You need to take initiative. Never say that when you meet up with someone it isn't a date. Tease them. Don't make your intentions obvious, but still act like a good ****ing friend. Be benevolent. Be caring. Be thoughtful. And most importantly be confident. Even if you are ugly. It doesn't ****ing matter, because if you're confident and just a delight to be around girls will start to see you as attractive, even if objectively you ain't.
    fair enough, ill take that on board
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    friend ur ugly like me so u need to get girls on personality

    just be all normie good bad guy and once u acc get to know girls they'll fall for ur personality (not rrly girls arent stupid)

    then weep and tell em it was all a ruse
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    (Original post by zanner)
    friend ur ugly like me so u need to get girls on personality

    just be all normie good bad guy and once u acc get to know girls they'll fall for ur personality (not rrly girls arent stupid)

    then weep and tell em it was all a ruse
    Lol i genuinely don't think I'm ugly. And tbh i don't know how to fake being a 'normie good bad guy'...does that work for you?
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Lol i genuinely don't think I'm ugly. And tbh i don't know how to fake being a 'normie good bad guy'
    i was joking friend

    good luck in finding gf tho

    i hope u find ur life partner s00n
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    Op, truth is, you mix with expensive girls...

    Stop chatting with girls who see themselves as classy.

    If you see a girl who is shy, trust me, she is the one for you.

    Case closed...but pls, never break her heart...pls
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    I hope you find a GF. Don't give up she's somewhere out there
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    (Original post by Onlineslayer)
    Op, truth is, you mix with expensive girls...

    Stop chatting with girls who see themselves as classy.

    If you see a girl who is shy, trust me, she is the one for you.

    Case closed...but pls, never break her heart...pls
    Where do i find a shy girl? Do i have to go to the library?
    • #3
    #3

    Can't really help you cause I'm more or less in the same situation (although I'm "only" 23). But confidence with people and confidence with girls isn't the same. I'm confident around people, I've a job, I play football and tennis, I've many friends. In other words I see a lot of people everyday and I'm confident around those people. But I have no confidence around girls (except my female friends). Of course it's hard if you're unexperienced but you've got to make an effort to change that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can't really help you cause I'm more or less in the same situation (although I'm "only" 23). But confidence with people and confidence with girls isn't the same. I'm confident around people, I've a job, I play football and tennis, I've many friends. In other words I see a lot of people everyday and I'm confident around those people. But I have no confidence around girls (except my female friends). Of course it's hard if you're unexperienced but you've got to make an effort to change that.
    I have no problems talking to any girl. But i guess i don't know how to tease or flirt or anything. I think i just set myself up to be friend zoned very easily lol
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by infumed)
    Hi I was hoping someone on here could help me out. For a long time now, i've found it incredibly difficult to meet a girl. In fact, it's come to the point that i really have no idea what to do anymore. I consider myself an average to above average looking guy. I'm a doctor so i have good job and i'd say I'm pretty well off financially as well (at least until the new junior doc contracts are imposed). I try to go to the gym as much as possible, although it's difficult working as a surgical SHO as I'm pretty much always in the operating theatre. However, no matter what i do, or how many girls numbers i get (and tbh i don't get that many) i haven't been able to go on ANY dates. I'm 26 this year and i've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. It's frustrating because i see people all around me who make it seem incredibly easy and technically, something like meeting a girl and forming a relationship shouldn't be that hard in theory. I don't think it's got anything to do with confidence really, as i talk to SO many people on a daily basis, ranging from co-workers to the many hundreds of patients that i see in any given week. So my question is that, is there anything i can really do to boost my chances to get a girl. Although i never try to exhibit this is any of my interaction, i personally feel soo desperate for a girl that i would pretty much settle for any girl.
    Hey I kind of know how you feel I'm 25 too and have never had a boyfriend. Firstly, I want to say that there's nothing wrong with you... You would be surprised that you are not the only one in that situation people just don't speak much about it, except on the net of course

    It seems like you've always been really busy so I think that could be a big factor. You seem to have a good work-life balance and it's good that you make time to go to the gym self-care is really important!

    Please don't settle for 'any girl'... The thing is if you do more likely than not you could attract someone who doesn't treat you right and you may get hurt or used. You deserve someone decent who can be a great companion. Don't give up on yourself, you are worth more than settling Think about what your heart truly wants, and use that confidence to go for it and take more risks.

    I also feel I'm losing patience sometimes but I stay strong because I know that one day it will happen so in the meantime I working on me. I've taken risks and been shot down but I'm picking myself back up and powering on towards someone who will appreciate me.

    Good luck
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by infumed)
    I have no problems talking to any girl. But i guess i don't know how to tease or flirt or anything. I think i just set myself up to be friend zoned very easily lol
    Ah I see... This is partly my problem too I'm lame at flirting, and responding to flirting

    I think practising definitely helps... You can practise mild forms of flirting and teasing with just about anyone. In fact it's especially useful to flirt with those you are not really attracted to as there is less pressure/expectations, but you are still improving your skills. For me I think sometimes I am apprehensive of conveying myself in a flirtatious way because of my lack of experience I can get a little scared of what it could all mean.
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    There are PLENTY of ugly girls in the World. TSR is full of loads of ugly to bang average girls. Loads would love a doctor. You are a ******* DOCTOR mate. Just tell girls you are a doctor and after talking to 5 at least one will want to date you. I guarantee it. Your job requires you to be confident so you should have no problem.

    If you are desperate then settling for someone average should be no problem to you. There is no such thing as "true love". You will never like someone more than yourself.
    It's just a numbers game man. Humans are designed to mate and make babies not fall in love.
    • #5
    #5

    Do not be depressed, there are lots of men in your position, I attended a speed dating event at the students' union recently which I thought went really well. In the few minutes chatting with different people I had laughs, interesting questions, funny answers, and an enjoyable time, but I did not match with anyone when the results were pooled at the end by the organisers. Not only did I suffer rejection from sixty women, I had a depressing evening when it sunk in I was as unpopular, lame, and boring as I began to suspect when I turned 19 having no female friends. When you feel down, remember that a person somewhere has had a worse time than you, but that person has survived to live another day. I will post anonymously because I do not want people knowing me personally having this insight which makes me look like a loser.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by infumed)
    I have no problems talking to any girl. But i guess i don't know how to tease or flirt or anything. I think i just set myself up to be friend zoned very easily lol
    That's exactly what I'm saying lol
    I have no problems talking to a girl either... In fact I've a lot of female friends. But the thing beyond friendship, I'm bad at it too. We've got to improve there.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Thats easier said than done when one hasn't ever been on a date. I understand where you're coming from but not finding a girl creates a vicious cycle of desperation lol. But tbh I'm pretty good at hiding the desperation, like i don't text girls more than once if they don't reply and i certainly don't do anything annoying

    Maybe you don't try hard enough? Do you put yourself out there enough? Are you too picky?
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Maybe you don't try hard enough? Do you put yourself out there enough? Are you too picky?
    Tbh bro, I'm trying as hard as i can with the amount of time i can invest. obviously if you're on call over a weekend u can't exactly hit the clubs, but on the off chance i get to talk to a girl in public, i try
 
 
 
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