Need some advice :)

Me and my gf have been going out for a year and a quarter but have been on a break since last wed, however, we have worked through most of our issues since then and i have it on good word we were on aim to get back tomorrow,

but when i was on the phone to her earlier she said she was gonna meet up and perhaps go to the cinema with an ex she has quite a lot of history with and told me last week she still has feelings for (but has since told me she didnt mean it) and im really struggling to deal with this...

i love her to bits and trust her immensely, but after what she said and after us being so shaky even the prospect terrifies me to the extent that im considering ending the relationship myself rather than go through the stress (im quite an insecure person...espesh when it comes to partners cause my parents went through messy divorce when i was wee but im trying to work through it)

Does anyone have any advice or help for me?

Reply 1

nxyssg

OP

The-Lennon

shes gonna bang him

thats not advice or help mate...

Reply 2

Vampyrcorn

14

have you said anything to her about her meeting with the ex upsetting you?

Reply 3

britishseapower

14

just see how it goes, she might just be testing you or even if she isn't, the date might not go as expected

Reply 4

nxyssg

OP

yeah i tried, and she got very upset and said she wouldnt if it upset me which was nice of her...but then she got all quiet and distant and i said it was okay and that she could cause i was too scared of ruining the progress we'd made and jeaporadising us getting back together soon...

I'm almost 100% nothing will happen between the two of them..shes even said she'll take a friend to put my mind at rest...but i'm still really uneasy about it... and mega struggling to cope :frown:

Reply 5

Vampyrcorn

14

nxyssg

yeah i tried, and she got very upset and said she wouldnt if it upset me which was nice of her...but then she got all quiet and distant and i said it was okay and that she could cause i was too scared of ruining the progress we'd made and jeaporadising us getting back together soon...

I'm almost 100% nothing will happen between the two of them..shes even said she'll take a friend to put my mind at rest...but i'm still really uneasy about it... and mega struggling to cope :frown:

Did she do that because she knew that if she acted upset you'd say she could go?

Reply 6

nxyssg

OP

Vampyrcorn

Did she do that because she knew that if she acted upset you'd say she could go?

hhmmmm maybe...it might've been cause she was upset that i was attempting to control her...or maybe not....am i being played? :confused:

Reply 7

britishseapower

14

just ignore it I guess, do something to occupy your mind on the day their together. If you and her have had issues and have resolved them and are potentially getting back together, I don't understand why she would risk sabotaging that progress by going on what is practically a date with an ex boyfriend.

Reply 8

Tom345

2

sounds like she's just meeting with a friend, and you shouldn't have anything to worry about, you say you trust her

Reply 9

ABeautifulMind

6

The-Lennon

shes gonna bang him

You make me sick dear.

Op, I think i can understand where your gf is coming from. You have been going out a year and a quarter. Naturally she is going to be overrun with the "what ifs" and "if onlys" from past relationships that she now has the freedom to explore. Then she feels bad and realises that she is curious and not liking him ect, just wondering if there was anything still there, so she tellsyou she never meant it. Which is most likely completley true. Right let me think of an example. Its like.. getting on a train heading to a destination for a long time, and getting off for a while, then gettin back on feeling dissatistfied because you could have got on a train you used to be on, just to see where it was headed. If that made sense haha. :smile:

Sorry thats probably just a load of rubbish i wrote.

Reply 10

nxyssg

OP

TakingBackJaney<3

If that made sense haha. :smile:

haha just about :smile:

Reply 11

ABeautifulMind

6

nxyssg

haha just about :smile:

ftw! ^_^

Op I wouldn't worry :smile:

x

Reply 12

Vampyrcorn

14

sounds like she's being a little bit insensitive but not malicious, I'd be very surprised if she cheats on you. Don't worry so much. :smile:

Reply 13

nxyssg

OP

i really am trying not to worry, i really wanna make this work...anyone got any ideas on what i can do try and keep myself relaxed about it...or anything i could ask her to do to make it easier for me that wouldnt seem like me being overbearing and controlling...

Reply 14

ABeautifulMind

6

Just make sure you are not by yourself on the day. Go out with mates and have a great time :smile:

Need some advice :)

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