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Still finding it hard to move on Watch

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    I had a breakup about a year and a half ago.
    It was a pretty long relationship, for 3 1/2 years, and he broke up with me over facebook, at 3am whilst he was in America and had just spent the past week cheating on me. (He'd planned it months in advance).

    I don't miss the relationship and I don't want him back (we don't speak at all and have no idea where he is/what he's doing). The problem is just that I feel so angry about what happened still and I'm finding it really hard to have good relationships with guys now. I know that a lot of guys wouldn't do to me what he did but it's still at the back of my mind, and after a break in the dating world, the most I seem capable of doing now is one night stands.

    Obviously no one is going to have a magical cure for that, it's more just venting my feelings but maybe someone has some words of wisdom?
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    I don't know the answer but it makes sense to feel how you feel. Finding someone where there's chemistry and where they will treat you well is easier said than done..It's ok to be choosy and there's nothing wrong with having a burger while waiting to commit to a full blown roast if you catch my drift.
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    Nothing to be said. I don't believe any words will make things better, if someone I liked did that to me I would passionately hate them, and absolutely no words would improve that.
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    I had a breakup about a year and a half ago.
    It was a pretty long relationship, for 3 1/2 years, and he broke up with me over facebook, at 3am whilst he was in America and had just spent the past week cheating on me. (He'd planned it months in advance).

    I don't miss the relationship and I don't want him back (we don't speak at all and have no idea where he is/what he's doing). The problem is just that I feel so angry about what happened still and I'm finding it really hard to have good relationships with guys now. I know that a lot of guys wouldn't do to me what he did but it's still at the back of my mind, and after a break in the dating world, the most I seem capable of doing now is one night stands.

    Obviously no one is going to have a magical cure for that, it's more just venting my feelings but maybe someone has some words of wisdom?
    I don't think lot's of one night stands is going to help your sadness, you really just have to move on mentally. I do not understand why some people think sleeping with lots of people on one night stands will help, all you are doing is damaging yourself more psychologically.

    You say this ex of yours planned this, Why would he ? Was your relationships already on the way down? If he did plan it, this is certainly wrong but relationships are not always great. I hope you come out of this and move on.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    I don't think lot's of one night stands is going to help your sadness, you really just have to move on mentally. I do not understand why some people think sleeping with lots of people on one night stands will help, all you are doing is damaging yourself more psychologically.
    I've never thought that one night stands would help, but at the same time I don't think it's made anything worse either. It's just for fun.
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    I had a breakup about a year and a half ago.
    It was a pretty long relationship, for 3 1/2 years, and he broke up with me over facebook, at 3am whilst he was in America and had just spent the past week cheating on me. (He'd planned it months in advance).

    I don't miss the relationship and I don't want him back (we don't speak at all and have no idea where he is/what he's doing). The problem is just that I feel so angry about what happened still and I'm finding it really hard to have good relationships with guys now. I know that a lot of guys wouldn't do to me what he did but it's still at the back of my mind, and after a break in the dating world, the most I seem capable of doing now is one night stands.

    Obviously no one is going to have a magical cure for that, it's more just venting my feelings but maybe someone has some words of wisdom?
    It's okay. Being angry is normal and he was a dink to have treated you that way.

    Just take a moment and pull yourself back from your own situation. Imagine it's 25 years from now and your own daughter is coming to you with this problem.


    What would you say to her? Would you want her to be doing the same things you are?
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    I've never thought that one night stands would help, but at the same time I don't think it's made anything worse either. It's just for fun.
    I see, the way you wrote it made it seem like you were doing it to forget your ex.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    I see, the way you wrote it made it seem like you were doing it to forget your ex.
    Yeah, I probably could have worded that better. I think what I'm trying to say with that, is that one night stands are fine, good fun, but when a guy is genuinely interested in me, it causes issues.
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    It's okay. Being angry is normal and he was a dink to have treated you that way.

    Just take a moment and pull yourself back from your own situation. Imagine it's 25 years from now and your own daughter is coming to you with this problem.


    What would you say to her? Would you want her to be doing the same things you are?
    I think the only thing I would say to her is to stop thinking about it. At the moment I'm just trying to work on my last year of university and have fun with it, which is exactly what I'd want her to be doing. But I would want her to give guys a chance and not miss out on someone special just because of one stupid boyfriend in the past. .
 
 
 
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