This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

3 month itch?

such thing as it?

Ok been going out with my bf for 3 months and dont get to see him alot because he lives in north and im in south.
But recently all we've been doing is having loads of little arguments over nothing! We both cant stand it but it seems as tho im the one always causing them? But evenwhen the argument has finished and we are still on the phone there is still the tension and no one is talkin and that causes another argument!

Do you think there is a spesific reason why we keep on arguing? Cos i think if we do carry on we are gona break up which i really really do not want to happen as he cares about me etc :frown:

Reply 1

britishseapower

14

can you provide examples of arguments?

Reply 2

pink_lucie

OP

14

britishseapower

can you provide examples of arguments?

we just had one about me staying over at a friends pj party, he doesnt want me to because of drinking/blazing etc and other guys staying over aswell but i said i am and that made a disagrement he ended up in saying just stay over, i dont care. and after that the convosation was dead :frown:

causing another argument

Reply 3

britishseapower

14

whats blazing? There obviously seems to be some trust issues here, is this a long distance relationship? how often do you see him?

Reply 4

Segat1

16

britishseapower

whats blazing? There obviously seems to be some trust issues here, is this a long distance relationship? how often do you see him?

Blazing is something you have to do in a squad.

Reply 5

simple_things

it's trust issues. the relationship is a distance one that hasn't been going on for very long and they can be like this because of not being able to see each other.
how often do you talk? can be text, phone, msn, meeting in person, etc. good communication is needed a lot.
if, for example, at the party you'd sent him a text any time after about 1ish saying something along the lines of 'party is good, i'm still alive' it'll help him not to worry. he should also reciprocate when he's going out. it'll ease both of your minds and you should have less arguments

Reply 6

pink_lucie

OP

14

britishseapower

whats blazing? There obviously seems to be some trust issues here, is this a long distance relationship? how often do you see him?

smoking weed

Reply 7

pink_lucie

OP

14

simple_things

it's trust issues. the relationship is a distance one that hasn't been going on for very long and they can be like this because of not being able to see each other.
how often do you talk? can be text, phone, msn, meeting in person, etc. good communication is needed a lot.
if, for example, at the party you'd sent him a text any time after about 1ish saying something along the lines of 'party is good, i'm still alive' it'll help him not to worry. he should also reciprocate when he's going out. it'll ease both of your minds and you should have less arguments

thats the thing! we talk ALL THE TIME! on the way to college in the morning texting each other if we have credit, and talk for hours before we go to bed EVERYNIGHT

Reply 8

Niaya

13

umm - maybe try having a break to see If you want to be in a relationship

Reply 9

simple_things

maybe you talk too much then. this is hard to approach without offending you so sorry if i do.
learning to leave each other alone is a big part of things. it develops a true understanding and belief that the other person wants you because each time you go they come back to you. if you're talking all the time then you never get downtime from each other and you don't feel comfortable because you always want to know what the other person is doing. when you go off to that party you won't be talking to him so much because you'll be socialising with other friends and he'll feel like something's wrong even though nothing is cos you ALWAYS talk.
solution - cut down A LITTLE on the conversation. do it very slowly though and if you say anything to him about the cutting down then be careful what you say. if you say 'i think we talk to much' then he's gonna think there's something wrong. it'll take some clever wording that i can't think of right at this point in time. also, don't stop talking altogether... find a balance to suit both factors cos the fact that you can talk to each other for hours on end is an amazing thing and shouldn't be stopped
it'll take a while... don't expect to be able to sort it straigh away

Reply 10

Llamaaa

15

I find arguments form a lot quicker when you are in a long distance relationship. They can just form out of nothing. Perhaps you could talk and you both could explain why you get worked up over certain things, and that way you could work to resolve them.

Reply 11

pink_lucie

OP

14

well i called him and said i wanted a break and he said no, straight out no. he said we might aswell break up cos hes not having a break and theres no point to it :frown:

Reply 12

nicki04

7

I don't think a 3 month itch exists - i'm sure the 'honeymoon' period should last quite a lot longer than that!! Maybe its more to do with you not getting on in general than you having been together for a certain amount of time.

Reply 13

Almond

7

Maybe its just because he's not into all of that and wants to protect you. He could feel threatened by guys at the party because you'll all be doing the same things that he may not agree with, so could feel threatened.

You could reassure him that there is nothing to worry about and that it wont change the relationship you both have.

Reply 14

gracie88

14

Maybe you're not suited to eachother as much as you thought you were? Arguments are normal, but if it's getting to the stage where all you do is argue practically, then i'd consider thinking about your relationship and if you want to stay together.

Reply 15

username47781

20

When there is no trust in the relationship, it can't work. Have you actually tried talking to each other when you are both calm and see why you keep arguing. Oh and don't go on a break because it never works.

Reply 16

ßlαcksωαn

17

It could be just frustration that you arnt seeing eachother much. Just another happy long distancer by the sounds...

Reply 17

FyreFight

14

I've heard of the 1 year itch, but not the 3 month itch =/

I'd suggest that if you're having trouble before then, you're not right for each other.

Reply 18

macintosh

me and my bf are in a long distance relationship (i'm at uni, he's having a gap yr and will be at uni in september) and we've been together for about 10 months now but we do the same thing as you. well, maybe not exactly the same but there'll be times when we're on the phone and we just bitch at each other but we put it down to missing each other and frustration at not being together more than anything. having a long distance relationship is hard and it puts pressure on both of you so it's inevitable that it manifests itself somehow.

however, if it does come down to trust and you feel like you can't trust each other that's a much bigger issue and something you need to work through together and talk about. communication can most problems in a relationship so i'd advise talking about it!

3 month itch?

Related discussions

Articles for you