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I'm 16 and I found out I can't have children watch

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    Ok, so the title is a bit misleading. Technically, I can have children, as far as I know anyway. I have Treacher Collins Syndrome is the issues. While the symptoms don't appear in me, it is still in my genetic predisposition. Any children I do have will risk having it. The symptoms include: Facial deformities, deafness, blindness and possible breathing problems. 1 in 50,000 people have it. I have no idea why I have it, nobody else in my family does. I don't have any of these symptoms. But I don't think I could live with myself if I had a child, and she/he had a serious version of this condition. I've never been particularly maternal. Children have always been "meh" to me, but knowing that I can't have them is horrible. Even if I wasnt keen on children, the option was still nice to have, should I change my mind one day. This feels crap, to be honest.
    What would you do in my position? Have children, and risk them having it or not do it at all and consider other options eg. adoption? It's caused by a recessive gene, as nobody in my family, distant and close, have it.
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    (Original post by Flozzie543)
    Ok, so the title is a bit misleading. Technically, I can have children, as far as I know anyway. I have Treacher Collins Syndrome is the issues. While the symptoms don't appear in me, it is still in my genetic predisposition. Any children I do have will risk having it. The symptoms include: Facial deformities, deafness, blindness and possible breathing problems. 1 in 50,000 people have it. I have no idea why I have it, nobody else in my family does. I don't have any of these symptoms. But I don't think I could live with myself if I had a child, and she/he had a serious version of this condition. I've never been particularly maternal. Children have always been "meh" to me, but knowing that I can't have them is horrible. Even if I wasnt keen on children, the option was still nice to have, should I change my mind one day. This feels crap, to be honest.
    What would you do in my position? Have children, and risk them having it or not do it at all and consider other options eg. adoption? It's caused by a recessive gene, as nobody in my family, distant and close, have it.
    Wait if it's a recessive gene, doesn't it mean that as long as your partner doesn't carry the gene also, there's no way your kids would get the disease? They might also be carriers, but that's not a complete disaster is it?
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    (Original post by strangesquark)
    Wait if it's a recessive gene, doesn't it mean that as long as your partner doesn't carry the gene also, there's no way your kids would get the disease? They might also be carriers, but that's not a complete disaster is it?
    The risk is still there though, a stronger strain of the disease is seriously disabling and I would hate to inflict that on a child. Moreover, I don't think I would be very good at looking after someone severely disabled however much I loved them.
    There are scans to see if your child is disabled, but they're pretty rubbish (I know someone whose kid had a serious disability, the scan didn't show it)
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    Don't have kids. It's too risky. If you do ever want kids you can always adopt or foster. They may not be your biological kids but you'd be giving them a home.
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    (Original post by strangesquark)
    Wait if it's a recessive gene, doesn't it mean that as long as your partner doesn't carry the gene also, there's no way your kids would get the disease? They might also be carriers, but that's not a complete disaster is it?
    This, but also can it be screened for in early pregnancy?
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    (Original post by Flozzie543)
    The risk is still there though, a stronger strain of the disease is seriously disabling and I would hate to inflict that on a child. Moreover, I don't think I would be very good at looking after someone severely disabled however much I loved them.
    There are scans to see if your child is disabled, but they're pretty rubbish (I know someone whose kid had a serious disability, the scan didn't show it)
    What risk do you mean? The risk of your kids having the disease? Not if the other parent doesn't carry the gene at all. I suppose there's risk that a genetic screening on the other parent doesn't throw up the gene when it is there.

    Having kids means there's so much that can potentially go wrong. Would you worry about them getting run over and left paralysed for example? There are plenty of things can could happen to render someone disabled - can you cope with that?

    You can't get rid of a child because they're disabled, so think carefully before you decide - you're only 16, wait a good few years and see how you feel.
 
 
 
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