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What is the 'nack' to getting a bf? watch

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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    . . .I turn 30 in 2 wks, and I am YET to have a proper relationship. I have been on dates, had FwB situations, but all the guys I date never ever want to progress anything. I have tried online, blind dates, bars, people in the work place, friends of friends, but nothing works.

    I don't dress provocatively, I believe I am a fun, bubbly, friendly person with a good personality, woman with career in progression, I'm independent, have my own property. So I don't get where I am going wrong. People tell me someone somewhere will sweep you off your feet . . they've been saying that for the past 10 years, and I am still no further forward.

    So ladies I want to know what is the 'nack' to getting a bf / relationship?
    Search Matthew Hussey on YouTube. He is a relationship guru pretty good advice!
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    Lord knows. If it's meant to be,it will be
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    Are you coming on a bit too strong? I understand that you want a relationship but that should be a goal you set when you actually meet someone you are attracted to rather than a requirement in your life. Most people when going out on dates aren't focussed on an end result, they're just having fun and meeting people, don't try to force anything as you could be moving too fast with them and the whole point of a relationship is to love and support another individual, not just the idea of being in a relationship. Maybe it would be best to get involved in more activities outside of your comfort zone, do things you enjoy, meet people with the same interests and let things grow organically
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    Be attractive
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Are you coming on a bit too strong? I understand that you want a relationship but that should be a goal you set when you actually meet someone you are attracted to rather than a requirement in your life. Most people when going out on dates aren't focussed on an end result, they're just having fun and meeting people, don't try to force anything as you could be moving too fast with them and the whole point of a relationship is to love and support another individual, not just the idea of being in a relationship. Maybe it would be best to get I lived in more activities outside of your comfort zone, do things you enjoy, meet people with the same interests and let things grow organically
    Nope, not being strong at all. I literally am just rolling with it, and letting the guy lead on it as from hearing stories from friends, coming on too strong is the killer of all killers!

    I have joined a meetup group which has lots of people around my age bracket, but nobody there has caught my attention, and from what I've heard it's a FwB situation people are after. I've been there, it's boring. Looking for substance . .
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    (Original post by TheGreatImposter)
    Be attractive
    How original! :rolleyes: . . NEXT
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    (Original post by Ribenas)
    Search Matthew Hussey on YouTube. He is a relationship guru pretty good advice!
    Never heard of this guy . . will go check it out. Thanks
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Never heard of this guy . . will go check it out. Thanks
    No worries, he seems to know what he is talking about
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    Firstly don't call yourself "bubbly", its what overweight women call themselves if they get a bit loud after a couple of drinks
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    . . .I turn 30 in 2 wks, and I am YET to have a proper relationship. I have been on dates, had FwB situations, but all the guys I date never ever want to progress anything. I have tried online, blind dates, bars, people in the work place, friends of friends, but nothing works.

    I don't dress provocatively, I believe I am a fun, bubbly, friendly person with a good personality, woman with career in progression, I'm independent, have my own property. So I don't get where I am going wrong. People tell me someone somewhere will sweep you off your feet . . they've been saying that for the past 10 years, and I am still no further forward.

    So ladies I want to know what is the 'nack' to getting a bf / relationship?
    Being pretty, interesting and kind also slightly manipulative it seems.

    Are you fat by any chance? Seen as you described yourself as bubbly, also most of the things you listed like owning your own house and mentioning your career is nice but is not really something that will get you a boyfriend. Women write this down on dating sites but it really means nothing to a guy looking for a lovely woman.
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    (Original post by Architecture-er)
    Firstly don't call yourself "bubbly", its what overweight women call themselves if they get a bit loud after a couple of drinks
    By bubbly, I meant upbeat, with a personality. Not dull as dishwater.

    (Original post by Mancini)
    Being pretty, interesting and kind also slightly manipulative it seems.

    Are you fat by any chance? Seen as you described yourself as bubbly, also most of the things you listed like owning your own house and mentioning your career is nice but is not really something that will get you a boyfriend. Women write this down on dating sites but it really means nothing to a guy looking for a lovely woman.
    No, not fat; size 10. Clue is in my username as to what I do as a regular activity to keep fit for the past 26 years! Bubbly I meant as in upbeat, chatty, welcoming, that sort of thing. What I've said is just a generic few things about me. LoL Not looking to date anyone on TSR, or give a whole low down on me / who I am.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    By bubbly, I meant upbeat, with a personality. Not dull as dishwater.
    yeah it's still what rowdy obese women call themselves tho
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    yeah it's still what rowdy obese women call themselves tho
    Ok, I will refrain from using such words.
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    Call me yo
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Ok, I will refrain from using such words.
    k yup that's it you can pull now

    good luck
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    Don't sweat it, you don't need a boyfriend so you don't have to worry about trying to get one. If an opportunity comes then takes it but don't let it consume your entire life. Good luck.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    k yup that's it you can pull now

    good luck
    Oh thank you EVER so much, I am delighted you give me the go ahead
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    (Original post by Protégé)
    Don't sweat it, you don't need a boyfriend so you don't have to worry about trying to get one. If an opportunity comes then takes it but don't let it consume your entire life. Good luck.
    Not saying it's a NEED, it just would be nice to have a SO in my life. Just bored of the same rubbish that's about these days. Not interested in FwB situations, they're boring. Yes dates are nice, but they get tiresome. Like someone else suggested in the thread, I've tried venturing outside my usual places to see if that opens things up, but nope same thing.

    It's just really hard IMO; even friends who are settled have said they're so glad they're not single in this day and age!
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    Things like this are tricky. We have no way of knowing what is pushing people away without knowing more about you. However, I can say there have been issues with people I know in the past who have wanted relationships. Here are a few:

    1) Some women have standards that are simply too high - They want a very specific man who probably doesn't exist or, if they exist, they're probably already married to people who saw their potential before they became so.

    2) Some women are attractive, funny, sexy and incredibly intimidating to a lot of men. If you're brilliant, sexy, funny and attractive, many men will simply assume you'd have no interest in them. I knew one woman who fit that mold exactly. I felt bad for her, actually.

    3) Some people have an awful lot of baggage - Everyone has issues and loving another person for everything they are is part of the package deal. When they no longer have issues but a whole subscription, it's time to back away.

    4) Some people are simply aloof. They haven't mastered the art of flirting yet or spotting when someone is flirting. That's fine; Nobody is born inherently with knowledge of what makes the opposite sex tick. You might want to consider getting some help closer to home - There's no shame in it. If this is you, you learned to drive, you learned to ride a bike and you can learn how to read people.

    Those are the major things I can think of right now - There are probably a lot more, but it would be best to talk to your best girlfriend or guy friend and ask for honest opinions. Be warned - If you're the type to take offense easily, you probably will not get honest feedback and they'll just say they're confused. If they give no advice, that's a surefire suggestion that they're too scared to give honest feedback. At that point, you'll have to go elsewhere and do some real introspection.
 
 
 
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