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Texting question (mainly for the ladies) Watch

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    Hi, I'm going to ask a question that has probably been asked before on here but it's really bugging and confusing me at the minute.

    There's a girl at work who started in September of 2015 but we never really spoke as we don't work in the same department. However about 2 months ago we matched on Tinder! At first I didn't know what to do so I didn't do anything. But last month I decided I'd email her (at work) to invite her and some friends out to the pub after work with me and a few of my colleagues/friends.

    She accepted and came and we spoke one on one for quite a while. I added her on Facebook the next day.

    The day after she inboxed me to say thanks for the invite and we send quite a lot of messages back and forth. That week she said she was going out with a few friends on a friday night if I fancied coming. So I went and on the night out we kissed.

    The next week I asked her out one on one for food and some drinks and she said yes - we had a great night last week on Friday (a week ago today) and kissed again at the end of the night.

    The next day I text her to ask how her day was going etc but she didn't reply for 2 whole days, but to be fair she said her family came down for a surprise visit and apologised for the lateness of the reply. Fair enough.

    On Monday of this week we sent only a couple of messages as she was packing to go away for a few days with friends. My last text to her ended with 'hope you have a lovely time' but she didn't reply after that. Again, fair enough, I'd expect maybe a thank you or something but it's not overly important.

    So she went away on Tuesday and got back yesterday evening I believe and obviously we didn't speak at all while she was away. That's completely fine.

    I text her this morning at about 11 asking how her trip went but she still has not replied. Now I know that doesn't sound too drastic but I have her on Facebook and she's clearly been on as she's liked a few posts and stuff etc this afternoon.

    I know I'm insecure (because I'm so used to being hurt now) and I know I need to chill out and that happiness shouldn't depend on someone else but for me right now, my happiness does depend on this person - I really like her and I thought/think she likes me based on those dates.

    My thoughts are as follows: I think there's 3 possibilities:

    1) She is interested in me and is deliberately not replying for ages as part of the whole 'mind game'/what society expects thing.
    2) She's not that interested/has now lost interest and this is her way of telling me.
    3) She has genuinely been too busy to reply to a text today (in 6 hours)

    My issue with 3 is that it only takes a minute to reply to a text and I know most girls have their phone with them for large parts of the day. I also feel like if you really liked someone then surely you would want to communicate with them?

    I just don't know what to think and it's driving me insane.

    Can girls give me their honest opinion on this? Some girls I've spoken to have said not replying to texts for hours/days doesn't mean someone isn't interested but I have a hard time accepting this.
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    If I really liked you I wouldn't hesitate to text she might like you but possibly not enough she doesn't seem to care that much imo


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    (Original post by Steveluis10)
    x
    My thoughts are as follows:
    I think there's 3 possibilities:
    1) She is interested in me and is deliberately not replying for ages as part of the whole 'mind game'/what society expects thing.
    2) She's not that interested/has now lost interest and this is her way of telling me.
    3) She has genuinely been too busy to reply to a text today (in 6 hours)


    Reasons why it is not:

    3) If she has time to go on Facebook and like post she has time to message you, if she wanted to she would find time
    1) It's a game - why play games now? she already has you. They usually only play games to gain the upper hand

    So in my personal opinion she has got bored and lost interest.
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    (Original post by Expialidocious)
    If I really liked you I wouldn't hesitate to text she might like you but possibly not enough she doesn't seem to care that much imo


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    Yeah, I can't help but feel that's right - I just don't know what else I could do though; the dates were really good, she seemed really keen, loads of eye contact, lots of flirty touches, the kisses, laughter etc. If she doesn't reply to my texts for ages though then how can I keep anything going? It doesn't make sense to me.
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    Some women love to play games even when you are in a relationship. Some women prefer playing games with men they are in a relationship with because it protects them from their insecurity, if they can have all the power over you, you can't hurt them. Of course it never works, it just makes it worse for both of you.
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    (Original post by Steveluis10)
    Hi, I'm going to ask a question that has probably been asked before on here but it's really bugging and confusing me at the minute.

    There's a girl at work who started in September of 2015 but we never really spoke as we don't work in the same department. However about 2 months ago we matched on Tinder! At first I didn't know what to do so I didn't do anything. But last month I decided I'd email her (at work) to invite her and some friends out to the pub after work with me and a few of my colleagues/friends.

    She accepted and came and we spoke one on one for quite a while. I added her on Facebook the next day.

    The day after she inboxed me to say thanks for the invite and we send quite a lot of messages back and forth. That week she said she was going out with a few friends on a friday night if I fancied coming. So I went and on the night out we kissed.

    The next week I asked her out one on one for food and some drinks and she said yes - we had a great night last week on Friday (a week ago today) and kissed again at the end of the night.

    The next day I text her to ask how her day was going etc but she didn't reply for 2 whole days, but to be fair she said her family came down for a surprise visit and apologised for the lateness of the reply. Fair enough.

    On Monday of this week we sent only a couple of messages as she was packing to go away for a few days with friends. My last text to her ended with 'hope you have a lovely time' but she didn't reply after that. Again, fair enough, I'd expect maybe a thank you or something but it's not overly important.

    So she went away on Tuesday and got back yesterday evening I believe and obviously we didn't speak at all while she was away. That's completely fine.

    I text her this morning at about 11 asking how her trip went but she still has not replied. Now I know that doesn't sound too drastic but I have her on Facebook and she's clearly been on as she's liked a few posts and stuff etc this afternoon.

    I know I'm insecure (because I'm so used to being hurt now) and I know I need to chill out and that happiness shouldn't depend on someone else but for me right now, my happiness does depend on this person - I really like her and I thought/think she likes me based on those dates.

    My thoughts are as follows: I think there's 3 possibilities:

    1) She is interested in me and is deliberately not replying for ages as part of the whole 'mind game'/what society expects thing.
    2) She's not that interested/has now lost interest and this is her way of telling me.
    3) She has genuinely been too busy to reply to a text today (in 6 hours)

    My issue with 3 is that it only takes a minute to reply to a text and I know most girls have their phone with them for large parts of the day. I also feel like if you really liked someone then surely you would want to communicate with them?

    I just don't know what to think and it's driving me insane.

    Can girls give me their honest opinion on this? Some girls I've spoken to have said not replying to texts for hours/days doesn't mean someone isn't interested but I have a hard time accepting this.
    Heads up, sometimes facebook messages just don't show up or she may have assumed that its some dumb group chat she's in or something, don't immediately assume that she's not into you because she's showing all the signs of being into you. Or she might just be trying to not look too keen?
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    (Original post by Steveluis10)
    Hi, I'm going to ask a question that has probably been asked before on here but it's really bugging and confusing me at the minute.

    There's a girl at work who started in September of 2015 but we never really spoke as we don't work in the same department. However about 2 months ago we matched on Tinder! At first I didn't know what to do so I didn't do anything. But last month I decided I'd email her (at work) to invite her and some friends out to the pub after work with me and a few of my colleagues/friends.

    She accepted and came and we spoke one on one for quite a while. I added her on Facebook the next day.

    The day after she inboxed me to say thanks for the invite and we send quite a lot of messages back and forth. That week she said she was going out with a few friends on a friday night if I fancied coming. So I went and on the night out we kissed.

    The next week I asked her out one on one for food and some drinks and she said yes - we had a great night last week on Friday (a week ago today) and kissed again at the end of the night.

    The next day I text her to ask how her day was going etc but she didn't reply for 2 whole days, but to be fair she said her family came down for a surprise visit and apologised for the lateness of the reply. Fair enough.

    On Monday of this week we sent only a couple of messages as she was packing to go away for a few days with friends. My last text to her ended with 'hope you have a lovely time' but she didn't reply after that. Again, fair enough, I'd expect maybe a thank you or something but it's not overly important.

    So she went away on Tuesday and got back yesterday evening I believe and obviously we didn't speak at all while she was away. That's completely fine.

    I text her this morning at about 11 asking how her trip went but she still has not replied. Now I know that doesn't sound too drastic but I have her on Facebook and she's clearly been on as she's liked a few posts and stuff etc this afternoon.

    I know I'm insecure (because I'm so used to being hurt now) and I know I need to chill out and that happiness shouldn't depend on someone else but for me right now, my happiness does depend on this person - I really like her and I thought/think she likes me based on those dates.

    My thoughts are as follows: I think there's 3 possibilities:

    1) She is interested in me and is deliberately not replying for ages as part of the whole 'mind game'/what society expects thing.
    2) She's not that interested/has now lost interest and this is her way of telling me.
    3) She has genuinely been too busy to reply to a text today (in 6 hours)

    My issue with 3 is that it only takes a minute to reply to a text and I know most girls have their phone with them for large parts of the day. I also feel like if you really liked someone then surely you would want to communicate with them?

    I just don't know what to think and it's driving me insane.

    Can girls give me their honest opinion on this? Some girls I've spoken to have said not replying to texts for hours/days doesn't mean someone isn't interested but I have a hard time accepting this.
    Exactly what I bolded, that's what I think also. Girls get excited when guys they like text them. If they're playing wait to text him game, it wouldn't be for days.

    Why are you so dependant on this person, there's more fish in the sea.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Exactly what I bolded, that's what I think also. Girls get excited when guys they like text them. If they're playing wait to text him game, it wouldn't be for days.

    Why are you so dependant on this person, there's more fish in the sea.
    I think because I actually work with her and didn't just meet her online. Since I split up with my ex of 3 years around 2 and a half years ago now I've been on about 17 different dates but around 14 of them were from Tinder.

    I really like this girl as well and I thought she actually liked me.

    My self esteem is so low at this point that it feels amazing to have someone actually show an interest in me.

    I really dislike phrases like 'it's her loss' or 'plenty more fish' - to me it's just another failure and it's my loss if she's lost interest. Again, I know I shouldn't think like this but I can't physically change the way I think and feel.
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    (Original post by Steveluis10)
    I think because I actually work with her and didn't just meet her online. Since I split up with my ex of 3 years around 2 and a half years ago now I've been on about 17 different dates but around 14 of them were from Tinder.

    I really like this girl as well and I thought she actually liked me.

    My self esteem is so low at this point that it feels amazing to have someone actually show an interest in me.

    I really dislike phrases like 'it's her loss' or 'plenty more fish' - to me it's just another failure and it's my loss if she's lost interest. Again, I know I shouldn't think like this but I can't physically change the way I think and feel.
    But that's apart of dating, people are going to reject you. Do you think getting your self esteem back and working on yourself first would be a better route before dating again?. Being dependant on a person for your own happiness isn't healthy.
 
 
 
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