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Mixed signals or am I just reading too much into it? watch

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    I asked a guy out at work at the end of December and he said no, which is fine by me because he has the right to say no and I'm sure he had his reasons for saying no. However, I am slightly confused because since then whenever I'm on shift with him he flirts with me by making suggestive comments, keeps trying to make me laugh and keeps asking me to get him gifts as though I was his girlfriend, amongst other things

    Is he just being friendly? How do I tell him I don't really want to be friends with him?

    Thanks in advance
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    The situation is not helped by the fact that I'm on the Autistic spectrum of disorders and I have difficulty discerning people's motives and intentions at the best of times.
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    I would find his behaviour weird too. But like you, I'm Autistic too.

    I think you do need to talk to him.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    I would find his behaviour weird too. But like you, I'm Autistic too.

    I think you do need to talk to him.
    :highfive:

    Have you ever been in a situation similar to this before?
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    Ask him out again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :highfive:

    Have you ever been in a situation similar to this before?
    No. When I've been rejected, they tend to carry on as though nothing's happened, which is what I need.
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    (Original post by Notorious AHIG)
    Ask him out again.
    He said no the first time; it was only a few months ago, why would I do it again?
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    No. When I've been rejected, they tend to carry on as though nothing's happened, which is what I need.
    You'd think if he wasn't interested he would avoid me, but no, he's just gotten more chatty to me
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    Because he now sounds like he fancies you.
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    He may be a psychopath, or perhaps becoming a sociopath. They take everything of you whilst giving absolutely nothing back. They want you to full in love with them only so as they can own you. Look, this is just one possibility, but my advice is never to take chances with men. He is a possible candidate for being pathological. This taking it that there is no normal explanation for why he said "no". Ask him, why it is that he said no. You need the answer, and the length of hesitation may also be significant. Additionally, they are very definitely drawn in by any hint of a disfunction or compromise of a potential victims mind. Is he significantly older of years? - They prey on the most vulnerable, often times their victim enters the relationship, usually a long term one, whilst still a child. Psychopaths are the most successful group in our society. They manipulate minds. If he is indeed one then he`ll be exactly what it is that you most want him to be for the short term/until it`s too late for you to turn back. Don`t go with guys that are instinctively of concern: www.celebritydiscodave.co.uk
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    (Original post by Kates David)
    He may be a psychopath, or perhaps becoming a sociopath. They take everything of you whilst giving absolutely nothing back. They want you to full in love with them only so as they can own you. Look, this is just one possibility, but my advice is never to take chances with men. He sounds pathological taking it that there is no normal explanation for why he said "no". Additionally, they are very definitely drawn in by any hint of a disfunction or compromise of a potential victims mind. Is he significantly older of years? - They prey on the most vulnerable, often times their victim enters the relationship, usually a long term one, whilst still a child. Psychopaths are the most successful group in our society. They manipulate minds. If he is indeed one then he`ll be exactly what it is that you most want him to be for the short term/until it`s too late for you to turn back. Don`t go with guys that are instinctively of concern..
    The possibility of him being a sociopath has definitely crossed my mind seeing as I've found out other stuff about him since asking him out. He said he wasn't interested in a serious relationship only ONS.

    No, he's actually younger than I am but he seems too stupid to be a sociopath, aren't they supposed to be intelligent? Most of the time I can see right through him

    Thanks for your concern anyway; I intend to give nothing to him
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    (Original post by Notorious AHIG)
    Because he now sounds like he fancies you.
    No. I think he just wants to use me
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    Do you want to be friends with him?
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    (Original post by Notorious AHIG)
    Do you want to be friends with him?
    Not really, not anymore
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    The high performing sociopaths are intelligent. One of their traits is generally a capacity for pretence - They might well wish to appear stupid/harmless in order to get what they want. I don`t begin to understand his mindset, and anything and everything is possible, but if he were then his sole purpose would be to use you..He`s trying to make himself as desirable as possible to you? Rejection often serves to enhance desire, and rejection comes easily where there is to be found no compassion. Sociopaths have no compassion. If he`s younger than you he could only possibly be a psychopath, not sociopath, but it really makes little difference. He is playing with your mind? They do that. Good instincts are everything!
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    He tries to be charming but it fails because hes so silly about doing it. I dont think hes pretending to be stupid either, hes extremly stupid and uneducated to the point where he cant even spell properly. He practically warned me off him tbh; surely a sociopath would pretend to like me in order to use me?

    (Original post by Kates David)
    The high performing sociopaths are intelligent. One of their traits is generally a capacity for pretence - They might well wish to appear stupid/harmless in order to get what they want. I don`t begin to understand his mindset, and anything and everything is possible, but if he were then his sole purpose would be to use you..He`s trying to make himself as desirable as possible to you? Rejection often serves to enhance desire, and rejection comes easily where there is to be found no compassion. Sociopaths have no compassion. If he`s younger than you he could only possibly be a psychopath, not sociopath, but it really makes little difference. He is playing with your mind? They do that. Good instincts are everything!
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    You are exactly right, and that swings it totally away from being anything psychopathic. He sounds like a guy that`s totally void of any sense of self worth. It`s likely he rejected you in order to save what is left of a puny ego. It is likely that he rejected you when he really only wanted to invite you in. Our system of education, plus expectation, routinely destroys non performers. The way that he responds to you may come about as part consequence to his running away from himself?.
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    (Original post by Kates David)
    You are exactly right, and that swings it totally away from being anything psychopathic. He sounds like a guy that`s totally void of any sense of self worth. It`s likely he rejected you in order to save what is left of a puny ego. It is likely that he rejected you when he really only wanted to invite you in. Our system of education, plus expectation, routinely destroys non performers. The way that he responds to you may come about as part consequence to his running away from himself?.
    I'm not sure, David. He did ask me out when I first started but I thought he was joking so I ignored him at the time. He couldn't possibly still have feelings could he?

    I appreciate your insight, you post unlike most other users on this forum. Are you a psychologist?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not sure, David. He did ask me out when I first started but I thought he was joking so I ignored him at the time. He couldn't possibly still have feelings could he?

    I appreciate your insight, you post unlike most other users on this forum. Are you a psychologist?
    I think I`m a natural psychologist. I don`t seem to require to be education into having the answers, I so often appear to just have them. I think it`s because I tend to be so utterly focused on human relationships - We can borrow the opinion of others and then call it our own, or otherwise, we can may be create meaningful opinion for ourselves, which is our own. This is at the same time the place of genuine philosophical process, in my view. There is all about me at www.celebritydiscodave.co.uk. I`m in the public domain, albeit in a small way.

    I`m not sure what`s going on in his mind but he appears to be performing deliberate mind games with you. He asked you out, then he rejected you, and now he is still very much still showing interest, but whilst, and perhaps deliberately, showing himself in the worst light. Is this correct? - It could be a desperate bid to develop a deflated ego. In which case he would ideally/for maximum benefit, have to take his genuine self with him, as a mere front would not be adequate. This would be happening largely subliminally.

    Somebody that he has been out with would put the finger on it. There are still broad possibilities, perhaps from schizophrenia at one end, to just fooling about at the other. The fact that you brought it here suggests to something more than fooling. and it is quite elaborate to be mere fooling. As unlikely, statistically unlikely I should have said, as this is in this case, such desperation as this for an ego, if this is indeed what we are looking at, very occasionally ends in a desperate place. Don`t make a friend of him as there appears to be greater than average risk.
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    (Original post by Kates David)
    I think I`m a natural psychologist. I don`t seem to require to be education into having the answers, I so often appear to just have them. I think it`s because I tend to be so utterly focused on human relationships - We can borrow the opinion of others and then call it our own, or otherwise, we can may be create meaningful opinion for ourselves, which is our own. This is at the same time the place of genuine philosophical process, in my view. There is all about me at www.celebritydiscodave.co.uk. I`m in the public domain, albeit in a small way.

    I`m not sure what`s going on in his mind but he appears to be performing deliberate mind games with you. He asked you out, then he rejected you, and now he is still very much still showing interest, but whilst, and perhaps deliberately, showing himself in the worst light. Is this correct? - It could be a desperate bid to develop a deflated ego. In which case he would ideally/for maximum benefit, have to take his genuine self with him, as a mere front would not be adequate. This would be happening largely subliminally.

    Somebody that he has been out with would put the finger on it. There are still broad possibilities, perhaps from schizophrenia at one end, to just fooling about at the other. The fact that you brought it here suggests to something more than fooling. and it is quite elaborate to be mere fooling. As unlikely, statistically unlikely I should have said, as this is in this case, such desperation as this for an ego, if this is indeed what we are looking at, very occasionally ends in a desperate place. Don`t make a friend of him as there appears to be greater than average risk.
    He asked me out over a year ago though, nearly two years ago so it's probable that he liked me at the time but since has likely lost interest and developed other crushes or likes in the meantime? After all, if someone doesn't want to go out with you, you move on don't you?


    I think he's just fooling about, although he is a bit crazy and has a reputation for being ditzy. He also smokes weed regularly; I don't know if that would precipitate any previous mental health conditions he has but it's probably worth considering. One time when I was cleaning the works toilet he demanded to be allowed in. After I had said no he said words to the effect of 'Oh come on <name> you know you fancy me.' I said no because he was too short. He grumbled at me through the toilet door and then when I came out he proceeded to take his top off and dance around the crew room half naked spraying someones inhaler all over himself :rofl: :toofunny:
 
 
 
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