This is an issue that started bothering me a few months ago and it hasn't been resolved since everyone's telling me different things.
So we've been friends for a bit over two years and it was a really good friendship. We're both girls, by the way. She was pretty awesome since we had similar opinions and I could talk to her about anything and vice versa. I don't know when it started nor do I know the details but I really started suspecting things around my birthday. She gave me a birthday card that was very close to confessions. Well, I may have not received this 'confession' as well as she had wanted me to.
Then two of my friends confirmed this and told me that she had talked to them. It's weird since I never suspected it until a year after. I was so sure that she was straight but then she came out to me a month ago and I feel so lost and confused (the irony).
I wouldn't really have any problem with her liking me but now she's very clingy and talks about suffering and pain and unrequited love and how much life sucks. It's also a burden on me because firstly, I feel guilty and secondly, I feel like all her complaints are weighing me down. If you've ever hung out with a pessimist, you would know. I don't really know why this is so recent but I know I've changed since we became friends for sure. Maybe I was like that before and that's how I managed it. I've already recommended that she looks into getting counselling because I'm worried.
But I can't confront her properly because if I do, we most likely won't stay friends and I'm the closest person she has at school. If we fall apart, the chances of our mutual friends sticking with her are very low. I don't know what to do. Please help!
My friend likes me a little too much??? watch
- Thread Starter
- 20-02-2016 19:49
- 20-02-2016 19:58
talk to her about your own love interests and problems, dont let her control all your conversations or complain about her life all the time. spend time talking about your life too, make sure she knows that you exist outside of her sphere, and talk about guys you like etc to make it clear that you're not interested in her. I certainly understand the feeling of being weighed down by constant pessimistic people, its certainly a huge unwanted burden and your friend is being selfish by piling it on you.
You're not obliged to like her romantically, if she cant get over her infatuation and isnt willing to keep your friendship as it is then you need to be prepared to cut the cord because it means she doesnt value your friendship as much as you'd like. Anyone who did would give that priority.
Just be direct with her, tell her "hey so x and x told me that you feel this way about me, and you know you mean the world to me as my friend, but i'm not gay and i dont feel that way about you".
- 20-02-2016 20:01
You need to tell her upfront how you feel, friendships work the same as relationships in that you need to be honest with the person about how you feel and not just let the things that annoy you a lot slide on by.