Friend doesn't listen

I left my job a month ago, told my friend this in person, on msn and in an email - 3 times in total. She texted Saturday saying I thought you was at work as I had texted in the day. Then yesterday I said how I enjoyed weekends off and she said why and I had to tell her again I had left and she was like when?! I have emailed every week saying what I have done over the weekends like going away and asking her how she is and she never replies.

It angers me as she is coming across as selfish - she had a fling with a guy in a relationship, is on Prozac as she can't cope even though they didn't date and she knew no relationship would come of it. She only ever talks about him and is ignoring and not listening to me even though I have supported her and tried to give advice. I just wonder why she can't return the friendship.

Reply 1

Mernard

Because when people get involved "romantically" with another person, everyone else seems to fade into insignificance. I've found it happening all the time, they're less bothered about your problems and spend more time talking about how wonderful the person they're going out with is. Then again, she's on medication and that may be having some adverse effect.

Bring up the subject with her or try to spend more time with her.

Reply 2

Tag

depression can **** you up and makes everything seem like the end of the world, hance the self involvement. That's no excuse, she is being a bit of a bitch really ... but you asked why.

Get her to sort herself out ey!

Reply 3

WorkHouse

yeah, the sheer nature of the illness of depression does have a tendancy to make people very self involved.

My mum does this from time to time too - forgets where I work even though I explicitly tell her. Its a scorpio thing she tells me. :rolleyes:

The only advice I can recommend is to just be there for this person - listen to her gripy moanings, as banal as they may be. Only she can get herself out of this depression but it will happen a hell of alot faster if there are people around her who make her realise she's got more things in her life than this loser who ****ed her around. do you see what I mean?

Reply 4

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

I'm probably not the best person to see it from your perspective but I will try and explain how she might be feeling. I have a few close friends who are aware of my depression, one of whom I've confided in completely. I feel really bad that I have just ranted on and on to them and think that they hate me for it. It's as though all I seem to care about is my problems and how messed up I am. I ignore other people's problems and sometimes say that even the dead are better off than I am. I'm not exactly the most rational person right now. Maybe this explains her actions. I'm sure that if you remain friends with her then when she gets better, which could take time, she will thank you and your friendship will improve. It may be difficult but stick with it as you will both be better people for it.

Reply 5

Mr_Velcro

Some of my depressed friends are like that too... very self involved.

Reply 6

Phantom Phoenix

It's true, I was disgracefully self-involved when I was depressed. I must've been so annoying to my friends...I never forgot where they worked or anything, but I was always bringing up my problems. It makes me cringe now, but at the time I didn't really see what I was doing wrong. :rolleyes: