I feel like I'm reaching breaking point with this one. My brother has always been my best friend - 3 years ago he met this girl and within a few weeks she was preggers, at the time she seemed alright and a nice girl.
During the pregnancy stage her true colours started to show - I'd hear her arguing with my brother constantly over minor things. At least twice she told him to kill himself. I brought this up with my brother as unacceptable and it was blamed on "hormones".
I've always witnessed them fighting, her being verbally abusive and acting like a complete knob towards him. I brought this up again 1 year after my niece was born very tactfully with my brother, but again he made excuses for her and said she was just "stressed" - he also admitted she was on anti-depressants.
Trying to keep this short so lets just say current day - my niece is 3. She (brothers girlfriend) spends all day sitting on her **** watching TV while my brother is out working. She rings him several times per day asking when he is going to come home, again being verbally abusive to him (I've overheard this several times).
I'm sure she simply rings him and causes arguments out of boredom.
This has recently taken a new turn as I lost my job and have been spending a lot more time around my brother - what I've witnessed is awful.
She is a complete lazy ***** - she sits on her bottom all day bossing him about "do this, do that". If he doesn't do it that second she starts an argument with him or goes in the huff with him - which results in him pandering to her every whim and I'm sure she knows this and has him wrapped around her little finger.
He does absolutely everything for her and his daughter and as far as I can see is treated like ****.
Me and My Brother recently went to get us all some dinner, she rang him while he was driving the car as she couldn't find something - he said "I'm sorry I'll have a look when I get back as I'm driving right now" - she simply slammed the phone down on him.
When we got back there was an atmosphere for about 2 hours with her giving him the cold shoulder - because she couldn't find a pair of nail clippers...
There is loads of stuff I could mention here; but she is basically a complete ***** towards him - she even stops him spending time with family as she'll call and demand he comes home or texts him constantly saying "hurry up" etc...
I'm suffering from bi-polar, have recently lost my job and have quite low self esteem at the moment - I'd love to be able to sit down and talk through stuff with my brother but I feel like I can't! I know for a fact that him getting away from her and spending just an hour with me will cause trouble for him
My brother doesn't deserve this, he is kind, caring and I think so totally blinded by love that he can't see how terrible she treats him - I'm not sure what other reason he would have to stay with her.
I've tried telling other family members about this, the trouble is when she does actually show her face around other family members you'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - she's all sugar and sweetness.
I just don't know what to do, I worry that if I do bring this up again it could result in me loosing my brother altogether as he clearly loves her despite her treating him like dirt - but at the same time I feel like he is throwing his life away by staying with someone who treats him so horribly.
Brother - whipped and treated like dirt Watch
- Thread Starter
- 21-02-2016 10:20
- 21-02-2016 10:29
Why do you care? If he wants to be in the relationship, let him be in it. Just ignore it. It's him who's being abused, not you,
- 21-02-2016 10:32
It's so saddening to read this. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. This is a form of domestic abuse (it doesn't have to just be violence based).
There is every chance that the only reason your brother is still in that relationship is for the benefit of their daughter who may be downtrodden and miserable of mum or dad left. He has to enforce harsher treatment to her, for example not responding to texts, not pampering her and not doing as she says, all the time. Reason being, if she's not treating him well it's probably because she knows he's wrapped on her finger. If he refused once in a while, he could change that and level out the playing field. Worst case scenario, he can get the hell out of there and apply for joint or whole custody.