first relationship

hi i feel like a bit of a dik for posting this, and i appreciate i shouldnt really be moaning since there are alot of people out there without anyone. Anyway, recently ive been seeing this girl and its brought up alot of worries in my mind, most of them probably irrational. Basically the girl is probably out of my league so to speak, shes really intelligent and talentented. Now its not a problem for me to be less talented and intelligent since im not that bad, but it makes me wonder why she is with me, that she could have literally anyone. Now im not that bad a catch, and i appreciate ive got good points, but im also quite shy and neurotic lol, whilst shes more assured and part of the popular clique etc. I know we havent spent enough time together because its been exam time, and thats probably whats causing all these doubts, that i dont know her well enough, so am trying to fill in the gaps in my mind. Im also quite worried about sharing my life with her, since ive never really been in a proper relationship before, and so have never had to do so. Im scared of revealing myself, that my inevitably my insecurities and negative points will show.
Sorry if this read like the ramblings of a drugged horse, and im not sure exactly what im asking here, im just looking for some perspective i guess...

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

It's just first relationship worries. It can be very hard to fully open up to someone, placing yourself in a vulnerable position and all, but thats what relationships are for..well serious ones anyway.
Is she your "girlfriend"? I presume so. Well just the fact that she's interested in you, shows that you have nothing to worry about. Who cares if she's more talented or intelligent?! It doesn't matter that much. Don't ever think that someone is out of your league. You are just as good as the bloke beside you, don't ever question that!
In a relationship your insecurities will be brought up to the surface. Yes it can be tough, but you have to work together, just be there for one another.
Sounds as if you do need to spend more time with her, to get to know eachother. And it's not as if you have to hand your whole life story over to her on a platter within the first few weeks of the relationship. You share stuff when and if you want to. Don't worry about the stuff that has not even arisen yet. Just have fun!

Reply 2

Minardi

I still have no idea what my ex saw in me, but it was good while it lasted. :smile:

Enjoy it mate.

Reply 3

woeful_infatuation

listen to the posts. they know what they're talking about. i know how you feel, me being in my first relationship ever,too. but reall, just go with the flow. i'm not sure how long you've been going out, but dont worry so much, she wouldnt be wit you if she didnt like you! just give her some space for her exams and wait what happens after the exams are over.i'm sure you'll both have much more time and then have time to catch up on things.

Good Luck!!

Reply 4

mousy

I think you share the same insecurities that everyone has, especially in a first relationship. I have absolutely no idea why my bf is with me, but I suppose you jusy gotta realise that ur gf is with you for a reason, you say that she could have anyone she chooses, and she chose you!!! Enjoy it :smile:

Reply 5

Profesh

Would it have given rise to similar such misgivings were you, yourself, 'with' someone significantly lesser-endowed in terms of social/intellectual/academic prowess?

Perhaps she isn't as 'secure' as your impression of her has led you to believe. Notwithstanding; sometimes, it's nice not to feel as though you're necessarily in competition with your partner.

Reply 6

net1989

i knw exactly what your on about. im in my first real relationship and i find myself asking the same questions about my bf. like what does he see in me? etc but ive shared thos with him and he is the best at re assuring me.
mabey if u share it with her she'll tell u the exact reassons y she's with u. there obviously is sumthing or she wouldnt be with u. but dont worry bout it, honeslty ano its easy for us to say that but dont let little things like this build up in ur head too much as it can sumtimes get in the way.
as for not seeing her as much dont worry once the exams are over u cn spend more time and get to knw each other.
also thw whole worrying about letting someone new into ur life and the fear of them getting too close and u ending up getting hurt, dont worry about it. as i said ive been there and it will come with time. still after 2 months or so ive still got that in my head but it does get easier. just dont shut her out copletely and allow her to see how u feel it helps. means ur sharing more with her and allowing her closer without knowing it.
but honestly these things are normal. eveyone feels it especially at the start of a relationship. there isnt one person i knw who hasnt had these thoughts so dont worry.
hopefully everythign works out for u and this girl, u seem to realli like her. :smile:

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