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I feel quite bad about not spending time with my parents watch

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    I don’t know how to start this off but I feel my life is a mess. For some reason I don’t like living with my parents and want to move out and get my own place and start life afresh with new people. I know it’s wrong of me to think like this because I shouldn’t leave my parents. I also love them a lot but can’t express it in front of them.
    I also feel very sorry for them as before I was born, my parents lost two of their babies who were three years apart. So I am the only son of theirs and I feel they are over protective.
    It started when I was 13 and moved to a new house. I feel I became isolated since because I lost contact with my old friends and neighbours from old house and also at this age in school, I did stupid things which upset my parents such as smoking. I promised to not do it again but I broke their promise behind their back. They eventually found out later. So because of this, I wasn’t allowed to go out with anyone other than my cousin who is two years older and this didn’t last long as soon we got bored of each other. Also since moving house, I had my own bedroom in which I placed PS3 and computer and since then I spend my whole day in my bedroom and hardly come down unless I’m hungry or nobody is home.
    Now I am 23 and nothing has changed. I still spent most of my time in my bedroom. I still haven’t made any friends at all. I’m a very quiet and shy person after all so maybe that is the reason. I am currently in my final year at uni and will graduate this summer then hopefully go onto a full time job. I also have a car of my own so if I ever go out, it would be to either pick my little sister from school or grocery shopping at Asda.
    My sister is now 16 and since she was 14, she has started doing what I did. Spent her whole day in bedroom, no friends, caught smoking in school etc.
    Once I start working this summer, I hope to get married in a year or two but I feel I am not ready yet because who will I invite at my wedding since I have no friends. It will be so embarrassing to my wife and kids knowing I have no friends which means I get no phone calls, visitors at home or go out anywhere.
    I don’t know what the future holds for me but I really want a big change. I hope to see myself as a successful person with a decent job, car and a better house where my parents will stay with me and most of all I would like to get rid of all this insecurities I have and make friends and be happy and active in life.
    How can I do this? Where do I start from?
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    What makes you think everything will change when you're going to start a job? If you're going to get a job, that is.

    Living with parents has advantages but also comes with drawbacks such as you're not independent. While at uni, you should have joined some societies, if you're not into that sort of things then perhaps join a gym.

    Don't waste your time next to computer or console at home. I can see you're not very sociable. Starting a job in retail and talking to customers could help and will probably keep you away from computer.

    Secondly, you're older brother, you should take care of your sister, unless you don't care? (excuses like 'she doesn't want to listen' aren't accepted, you should give a good example and get a grip.)

    No woman will want to marry shy person like you, so either you will change something in your life or you'll regret.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don’t know how to start this off but I feel my life is a mess. For some reason I don’t like living with my parents and want to move out and get my own place and start life afresh with new people. I know it’s wrong of me to think like this because I shouldn’t leave my parents. I also love them a lot but can’t express it in front of them.
    I also feel very sorry for them as before I was born, my parents lost two of their babies who were three years apart. So I am the only son of theirs and I feel they are over protective.
    It started when I was 13 and moved to a new house. I feel I became isolated since because I lost contact with my old friends and neighbours from old house and also at this age in school, I did stupid things which upset my parents such as smoking. I promised to not do it again but I broke their promise behind their back. They eventually found out later. So because of this, I wasn’t allowed to go out with anyone other than my cousin who is two years older and this didn’t last long as soon we got bored of each other. Also since moving house, I had my own bedroom in which I placed PS3 and computer and since then I spend my whole day in my bedroom and hardly come down unless I’m hungry or nobody is home.
    Now I am 23 and nothing has changed. I still spent most of my time in my bedroom. I still haven’t made any friends at all. I’m a very quiet and shy person after all so maybe that is the reason. I am currently in my final year at uni and will graduate this summer then hopefully go onto a full time job. I also have a car of my own so if I ever go out, it would be to either pick my little sister from school or grocery shopping at Asda.
    My sister is now 16 and since she was 14, she has started doing what I did. Spent her whole day in bedroom, no friends, caught smoking in school etc.
    Once I start working this summer, I hope to get married in a year or two but I feel I am not ready yet because who will I invite at my wedding since I have no friends. It will be so embarrassing to my wife and kids knowing I have no friends which means I get no phone calls, visitors at home or go out anywhere.
    I don’t know what the future holds for me but I really want a big change. I hope to see myself as a successful person with a decent job, car and a better house where my parents will stay with me and most of all I would like to get rid of all this insecurities I have and make friends and be happy and active in life.
    How can I do this? Where do I start from?

    I don’t know how to start this off but I feel my life is a mess. For some reason I don’t like living with my parents and want to move out and get my own place and start life afresh with new people. I know it’s wrong of me to think like this because I shouldn’t leave my parents.It's not wrong of you to want to move out and start your own life at all, in fact it's pretty darn normal. Don't feel guilty about wanting some independence and your own space.

    I also love them a lot but can’t express it in front of them. How do you mean?


    I also feel very sorry for them as before I was born, my parents lost two of their babies who were three years apart. So I am the only son of theirs and I feel they are over protective. That's understandable on their part but that is out of your control.

    It started when I was 13 and moved to a new house. I feel I became isolated since because I lost contact with my old friends and neighbours from old house and also at this age in school, I did stupid things which upset my parents such as smoking. I promised to not do it again but I broke their promise behind their back. They eventually found out later. So because of this, I wasn’t allowed to go out with anyone other than my cousin who is two years older and this didn’t last long as soon we got bored of each other. Well 13 was certainly a very young age to move out of home. And I can understand why they reacted the way they did, you were still a child.


    Also since moving house, I had my own bedroom in which I placed PS3 and computer and since then I spend my whole day in my bedroom and hardly come down unless I’m hungry or nobody is home. Do you stay in your room because you prefer to be on your own and like doing those things all the time? Or do you do it because you get anxious around people? I'd say doing those things isn't a problem unless it is causing you problems in life or the cause is something like anxiety in which case I'd recommend you seek some help

    .Now I am 23 and nothing has changed. I still spent most of my time in my bedroom. I still haven’t made any friends at all. I’m a very quiet and shy person after all so maybe that is the reason. Well what are you doing to try to make friends? Because you're certainly not going to meet new people in your bedroom.

    I am currently in my final year at uni and will graduate this summer then hopefully go onto a full time job. Good luck.

    I also have a car of my own so if I ever go out, it would be to either pick my little sister from school or grocery shopping at Asda. Not sure how this is relevant.

    My sister is now 16 and since she was 14, she has started doing what I did. Spent her whole day in bedroom, no friends, caught smoking in school etc. have you tried talking to her about this?

    Once I start working this summer, I hope to get married in a year or two but I feel I am not ready yet because who will I invite at my wedding since I have no friends. Do you even have a partner at the moment? Because if not I think you're looking way too far into the future. One step at a time.


    It will be so embarrassing to my wife and kids knowing I have no friends which means I get no phone calls, visitors at home or go out anywhere. You have no reason to be embarrassed, this is only an issue if you make it one.


    I don’t know what the future holds for me but I really want a big change. What exactly is it you want to change?

    I hope to see myself as a successful person with a decent job, car and a better house where my parents will stay with me (Are you sure you want your parent sot move into your house? I don't know where you are from/ your culture but in the west that is quite odd)

    and most of all I would like to get rid of all this insecurities I have and make friends and be happy and active in life. You can do those things, but you need to put the effort in.

    How can I do this? Where do I start from? You need to put some effort in. Don't make excuses for yourself and if you want to change something then change it, don't "think" about changing it actually put steps into changing it.


    Honestly this post was a bit of a jumble and incoherent. Your thread title was about feeling guilty for not spending time with your parents but the majority of the post wasn't even about that. I think you need to do some serious self reflection, because it's clear from this post alone you yourself haven't got this all figured out at all.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Honestly this post was a bit of a jumble and incoherent. Your thread title was about feeling guilty for not spending time with your parents but the majority of the post wasn't even about that. I think you need to do some serious self reflection, because it's clear from this post alone you yourself haven't got this all figured out at all.
    I agree, the title doesn't fit but I didn't mention that for a reason. But it was your choice, now he'll think we're against him and will probably ignore advice.

    /off-topic
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    I think TSR app should be updated because I can't see any formatting such as bold which makes your text really vague.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
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