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Secret Affair - He's older and married watch

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    #1

    Please please no judging. I just need advice

    I have been seeing someone for the last 3 months and we have completely fallen in love with each other. Our relationship is far from perfect though. I am 21 and he is 37. He is married with 2 children and I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. And he is a colleague of mine.

    I know that I sound beyond foolish and naive, but honestly we are completely love with each other. I have never felt love like this and he tells me the same. He isn't the type of man to lie to get me into bed or anything, we truly do have a connection, I know this for sure. I know he's not using me because he spends all his spare time with me and treats me with complete respect.

    Things with my boyfriend have been bad for about 6 months but I can't hurt him by leaving him, because I care for him so so much. Also my family and his would be broken if we split up, I feel so trapped...

    Please, someone give me some advice I feel like I'm going crazy.
    • #2
    #2

    The guy is married with children!! He has a family! I'd end the affair if you care about your boyfriend that much. I know that you might be in love but it's not good at all.
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    its best that you leave him. it would hurt him more if he found out about it and it would sever your reputation between the two families if they found out
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    You need to break up with your boyfriend. Ultimately, what ever happens do you really want to stay with him when you know that there is a stronger love out that there?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please please no judging. I just need advice

    I have been seeing someone for the last 3 months and we have completely fallen in love with each other. Our relationship is far from perfect though. I am 21 and he is 37. He is married with 2 children and I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. And he is a colleague of mine.

    I know that I sound beyond foolish and naive, but honestly we are completely love with each other. I have never felt love like this and he tells me the same. He isn't the type of man to lie to get me into bed or anything, we truly do have a connection, I know this for sure. I know he's not using me because he spends all his spare time with me and treats me with complete respect.

    Things with my boyfriend have been bad for about 6 months but I can't hurt him by leaving him, because I care for him so so much. Also my family and his would be broken if we split up, I feel so trapped...

    Please, someone give me some advice I feel like I'm going crazy.
    The age gap doesn't matter much. But his marital status does. Not to mention, his own family. Just please think of his children. Try putting yourself in their shoes if they ever find out about their father's affair.

    Sometimes no matter how much we love someone, we just can't be with them like how we picture it to be... Sometimes it is just enough to love them without spending our whole lives with them. Sometimes we just have to make sacrifices for others' good... And for me that's what true love actually is.
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    There's no point being with your boyfriend if you have feelings for someone else. You need to think about him and give him the chance to move on and find someone who loves him. It doesn't matter if your family like him, he's your boyfriend and you need to make the decisions.

    The thing with the married guy is messed up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Things with my boyfriend have been bad for about 6 months but I can't hurt him by leaving him, because I care for him so so much. Also my family and his would be broken if we split up, I feel so trapped...
    You care for him so so much that you cheat on him because, of course, that won't hurt him.

    Leave your boyfriend smh.
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    The old guy has a family, don't be the person that tears it apart.
    You've also proven that you want to leave the other guy anyway

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    I would never get involved with a married man regardless of whether he has kids or not.
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    It doesn't matter whether you're in love. You know you're doing something wrong. Break up with your boyfriend and let him move on. If you're seeing a married man, do you seriously think he wouldn't cheat on you as well? Just as you're doing to your boyfriend? The love part is irrelevant. If he loves you, why is he still married? If you love him, why are you still seeing your boyfriend?

    If you build a relationship on lies, that is how it will most likely remain.
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    I know this is difficult but this man has nothing to offer you. He will always be half a man to you. You'll never be happy with half a man.


    Either that or he leaves his wife and kids for you - in which case there are words to describe you that I would rather not use on a public forum.



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    Homewrecking ho.
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    If everyone involved knew what was happening, what would they say?

    Presumably you know that it is very rare for a married man to leave his wife and kids for a mistress, and even rarer for him to be faithful if he does so.
    • #3
    #3

    Don't be a homewrecker please, because I've been on the receiving end of it and I have no words for how angry I feel towards that *****
    Leave the guy alone, he's got kids and a wife so back off. He's not yours to fall in love with. This isn't mean this is telling it straight. Just out of curiousity - what's your relationship with your father like?

    Also, you and your boyfriend clearly have issues. You can care about someone without being in a relationship with them. Also it's you who's dating him, not your mum/ family and he's dating you not his mum/ family so you guys need to sort it out between yourselves and don't cheat on him as you plan to do. Take a break and if it doesn't work out then break up. Your family will be fine, better than finding out you've cheated on him with a married father.

    Do you understand this? Is it getting through? Don't go near the married man, and take a break from your boyfriend. Done.
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    You say you don't want to hurt your boyfriend by leaving but surely you must know that you're hurting him more by cheating on him?

    Also, there's no excuse for seeing someone who is married, especially if there are children involved, if you want to do the right thing, break it off now, tell your boyfriend and tell the guy to tell his wife, there is nothing good about this situation.
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    Do you prefer the older guy in bed? Also you don't care about your boyfriend or you wouldn't be doing this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    From a moral point of view, I couldn't encourage you to continue... but I suspect you know that's what most people's stance would be anyway.

    Leaving morals aside, think on this - if he's prepared to have an affair, cheat on his wife and kids, with you, who is to say that if you got together he wouldn't do the same to you in a few years time? If you two continued the relationship, one day sooner or later you'll hit a rough patch... would you have 100% confidence he won't stray just like he has now? I know it's easy to say that it'll never happen, he'll never do that to you. Funnily enough I'm sure that's what his wife is thinking right now.
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    You would not want to be cheated on if you were married. Leave him alone.
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    at the moment, you are his mistress/lover, and he goes home to his wife and kids.
    It would be interesting to know how he behaves at home with them, and if he would seriously risk home life for you.

    Three months isn't much to base a very traumatic breakup on.

    There is a saying -

    "when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy"

    will he stray like he is now, in 5 years, with a younger model;?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please please no judging. I just need advice

    I have been seeing someone for the last 3 months and we have completely fallen in love with each other. Our relationship is far from perfect though. I am 21 and he is 37. He is married with 2 children and I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. And he is a colleague of mine.

    I know that I sound beyond foolish and naive, but honestly we are completely love with each other. I have never felt love like this and he tells me the same. He isn't the type of man to lie to get me into bed or anything, we truly do have a connection, I know this for sure. I know he's not using me because he spends all his spare time with me and treats me with complete respect.

    Things with my boyfriend have been bad for about 6 months but I can't hurt him by leaving him, because I care for him so so much. Also my family and his would be broken if we split up, I feel so trapped...

    Please, someone give me some advice I feel like I'm going crazy.
    No, treating you with complete respect would be staying the hell away from you until you were both out of relationships, not having you as an easy lay on the side away from the wife and kids. If he really loves you, and you him, you would not still be with your partners.

    Let me guess, his wife just doesn't understand him, they never have sex since having kids, he only had kids because she wanted them, she nags all the time and he has SO MUCH more fun with you (sure, you don't have to run a household together, you can just shag and go on fun dates) but he couldn't possibly leave because blah blah blah...?
 
 
 
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