Self Harm

i know there are a billion threads on this.. but SEARCH brought up nothing. i say the search is broken.

anyway.. my best friend has just started going out with this guy, and she's really into him (i'm not refering to me either.. this is actually my friend..). i think before they got together she knew he was a self harmer, but they've decided to give it a go.
he keeps cutting himself on his arms, and saying how life is so bad and how if he couldn't self harm, he'd kill himself, and how my friend deserves much better than him. now, my problem is that my friend keeps turning to me for advice, but i have no idea what to say to her. i mean, i've encountered self harming before with my ex's sister, but his attitude towards it was that it was for attention and to ignore her, but i don't think that's what my friend wants to hear..

i don't know what to tell her, i really don't. i know she likes him a lot, so i wouldn't want her to break up with him, but she's always so worried about what he will do, she confides in me and i don't know how to help.

so, will you help me help her?

Reply 1

*soph*

Has he told her why he self harms? What's so wrong in his life?

Maybe he needs support, and in turn your friend needs your support. Try to encourage her to talk to him about why he does it, to understand the reasons behind it. Just being there can help, even if you don't know what to say to her, because it shows you support her and she's not dealing with it on her own.

Reply 2

woeful_infatuation

i've never been in such a situation, but maybe she could encourage him to see a counselor (they REALLY help!!). i dont think there's much she can say to make him stop. i'm sure his friends and family have already tried that. just convince him to maybe see the school counsellor-not even about the cutting but just his attitude towards the world and to find out why he has it, how he copes with it and alternate coping strategies..

Good Luck!

Reply 3

pumpkin7

meh..

well, all i know about is that they spent MUCH time crying the other night, and she has asked him why he does it, but he won't give her a proper answer. she's tried talking to him but he's very quiet about why he does it.. he won't open up.
i also know he's been to a councellor today, but i won't know until how that has gone until tonight... i'll probably end up getting a text about midnight, her all upset and what not. ergh!

Reply 4

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

Depression does things like that to people. It will take time for him to open up to friends - but it is very liberating when he does. At least he's seeing a counsellor though, as that was the best I could advise (I'm depressed but have never self harmed). Good luck to them though. It must be a difficult situation for her as well. :hugs:

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