Muslim TSR users, should I marry this man? Arranged Marriage

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if a non muslim said it to me i would treat it the same as if a non muslim told me as its helpful to me. but i thought that if non muslims read this then they would tell me to live my life and stuff like that.

I fully accept there are Islamic rules and you want to live your life the Islamic way, so telling you to go out and have sex with a load of guys to find yourself, is totally unhelpful but love is the most important component of your marriage and you have to appreciate the dangers (Islamic dangers) associated with agreeing to spend your life with someone you might not be compatible with.

Reply 81

MJlover

I like that fact that he's somali and and has completed his hifdh. if you are interested and attracted set up a series of meetings to get to know him better with your wali there.

Reply 82

Oilfreak1

If you're flirting while married you'll flirt while not married (bigger sin). Learn to control yourself before contemplating marriage you seem too immature atm tbh.

Regarding the guy, seems perfect (too good for you from the way you come across in this thread), just make sure your personalities gel.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 83

Anonymous #1

Original post by Free Kurdistan

i know. obvs i will get to know him before hand to try to figure if we are compatible. i wouldnt walk into a marriage with my eyes ****

Reply 84

Anonymous #1

Original post by chikane

I still think you should study then marry personally but if you want to marry him then go ahead but like others are saying talk to him and get to know him beforehand.

I knew a girl who married at 18 and did a degree but they don't have children yet but she is happy.

yeah i wouldnt want children straight away anyway maybe after a year

Reply 85

Andy98

Original post by Oilfreak1

I think you got the "not" in the wrong plane....

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 86

Anonymous #1

Original post by Oilfreak1

i would never ever do that while married. ive been through it with my parents so i wouldnt do it. i understand your point that i may be immature

Reply 87

Anonymous #1

Original post by Andy98

I think you got the "not" in the wrong plane....

Posted from TSR Mobile

you wrote n when you meant c :tongue:

Reply 88

Free Kurdistan

Original post by Anonymous

i know. obvs i will get to know him before hand to try to figure if we are compatible. i wouldnt walk into a marriage with my eyes ****

You should probably wash your eye before you get married

Spoiler

Reply 89

Anonymous #1

Original post by Free Kurdistan

You should probably wash your eye before you get married

Spoiler

lol i make silly typos like that all the time :colondollar:

Reply 90

Andy98

Original post by Anonymous

you wrote n when you meant c :tongue:

Balls

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 91

sairaaas

If you feel as though he's the right one for you, if hes got a good personality, on his deen, then trust Allah, do istikhara and go with it

Reply 92

Oilfreak1

Original post by Andy98

I think you got the "not" in the wrong plane....

Posted from TSR Mobile

yeah i did.

Reply 93

Anonymous #2

Are you serious or trolling...?

Reply 94

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Are you serious or trolling...?

serious

Reply 95

At1fa

I think you should talk to him and find out what kind of person he is. Even though you're young he could be right for you. After talking to hin and getting to know more about him decide if you feel ready or not. However you're still very young so you obviously have time so don't feel pressured. ALSO do the istikhara prayer to see if your final decision is right or not. Gd luck!

Reply 96

Mimir

Original post by Anonymous

can all the people against the idea of arranged marriage not comment , i wrote this for the purpose of Muslims to give me advice. i dont need your western 21st century comments.

Post in the Islam Soc then, it all sounds a little too inflammatory to be true really.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 97

mariachi

Original post by Anonymous

being educated and religious are big factors for me. personality is important to i forgot to mention. the age gap should bother me at all and i have family who have married to different cultures and its been okay for them. tbh my life goals are to become a good mother and a good wife. i am doing a degree at the moment but it will not be disrupted if i get married.

be careful : the risk in giving up a career and becoming a housewife is also that, if the marriage fails, you will be left without nothing

so, be sure to finish your degree(s) and, at least, be sure to have the marriage registered officially

Reply 98

mariachi

wrong thread

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 99

muslimstanisyed

Original post by Anonymous

im 18, going on 19 and its at a point where i dont mind getting married if the right person comes along. My dad is my only guardian who acts as a wali, my dad family are hindu and my mums side of the family are useless. Hes found someone for me but hasnt approached him yet. the guy is 25/26, he is Somalian (im south asain) he has a PhD and is a hafith of the Quran. he is well established too. i pray five times a day and wear the hijab and abaya although i still talk/flirt with guys so maybe its best if i get married as my spouse will fulfil my desires.

Generally when it comes to looking for a spouse i look for 1.Islam and 2.being educated so he ticks all the boxes.

the thing is i dont know if im honestly ready for marriage, i think i may be as i want to be a mother as soon as i can and i am ready to be a housewife (im fully trained too lol) another thing is that i dont know if i am ready for sex its so daunting and i dont think i could lose my virginity on my wedding night.

what makes a person ready for marriage?

can anyone give me any advice as to weather i should marry this guy? my dad woul never make me marry someone i dont want to

feel free to ask any relevant questions :smile: