Bisexuality, and the importance of a public sexual identities.

Watch
AdjectiveNoun
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
The traditional definition of bisexuality is "romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity". Such a term only describes a person's private intimate needs.

The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.

If a bisexual person is monogamous, the relationship can only be either same-sex or different-sex at any one time. To explain further, if in a gay relationship, they may still be attracted to the other sex, but that attraction is now irrelevant to anyone but the individual in question (and his/her partner), in the same manner as a liking for bondage.

Alternatively, if a bisexual person is promiscuous, the details of casual encounters shouldn't usually be shared with anyone but their closest friends. Whether same-sex or different-sex, that detail is irrelevant again.

There is no such thing as a "bisexual" relationship, except in rare open relationships, the details of which once again, should not usually be shared publicly.

I move that the descriptors of gay and straight be used to describe relationships instead of the sexual identity of an individual, and that we should focus our campaigns on relationships over individuals. Doing so would save a lot of unnecessary confusion, and would hopefully help to do away with the labels that alienate and allow easy hate against those who have been been in gay relationships.
0
reply
AngryJellyfish
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
I'd argue that presenting as bisexual can be important firstly in helping people understand that it's normal to be attracted to people of either gender, whereas insisting on calling people 'gay' or 'straight' based solely on who they're dating right now would imply to me that anything else was abnormal. Secondly, does not being in a relationship make a person asexual? Surely it's better to 'announce publicly' that you're bisexual, rather than calling yourself 'gay and straight'?

Also, I personally think it's none of my business what people decide to share publicly or not. :dontknow:
9
reply
Alexion
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#3
Report 4 years ago
#3
I don't really see what you're getting at...
6
reply
Arkasia
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
6
reply
Alexion
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
Well, here's my point of view.

I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.

I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.

But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to :cute:
2
reply
TheGreatImposter
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
People feel the need to come out as "bisexual" because they may want to be in a relationship with a guy or a girl at any one time and it's a way for them to be honest with themselves. If I was to date a guy, everyone would assume that I'm straight, if I date a women then I'm gay which wouldn't be the case. Also, if you come out then people know that your sexuality is fluid and that dating you wouldn't be "off the cards". People who are bisexual/ gay find it difficult to know whether a person is heterosexual or not and would usually assume that a person is straight unless made obvious otherwise.

Oh and coming out (if you want) can be important for a person, that confusion you feel for ages is a horrible thing but once you realise you're not one or the other, it can be liberating
4
reply
Retired_Messiah
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#7
Report 4 years ago
#7
What.
0
reply
Dinasaurus
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#8
Report 4 years ago
#8
(Original post by Arkasia)
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
What?
1
reply
Arkasia
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 4 years ago
#9
(Original post by Dinasaurus)
What?
Don't question me, it triggers me. You're part of the problem.
0
reply
unprinted
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#10
Report 4 years ago
#10
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.
I think it's great that a non-bisexual person* is available to tell us bisexuals what to do. However did we manage before this?



(* I'm right, aren't I?)
3
reply
unprinted
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#11
Report 4 years ago
#11
Your username is particularly ironic, given the previous content of adjectivenoun.org.uk too.

web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
0
reply
AdjectiveNoun
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#12
(Original post by unprinted)
I think it's great that a non-bisexual person* is available to tell us bisexuals what to do. However did we manage before this?
(* I'm right, aren't I?)
My attraction or lack thereof to specific genders is not open for discussion, especially considering as labeling myself as bisexual or not would undermine my point.
I'm not telling you, or anybody what to do. These are my thoughts on a subject. To clarify, this a discussion thread, an open question without a question mark.

(Original post by unprinted)
Your username is particularly ironic, given the previous content of adjectivenoun.org.uk too.

web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
Thank you for pointing me towards this website. As you've probably already guessed, the name is purely coincidental Seems interesting, I'll have to give it a closer look. Just at a quick glance, I wouldn't say he's directly contradicting what I'm saying. Yes, he does label himself as bisexual, but he also laments the need for such a label, which is somewhat related to my point.

(Original post by Alexion)
Well, here's my point of view.

I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.

I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.

But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to :cute:
By no means have I intended to imply that the bisexual crowd announces their preferences to every person they meet.
I agree, I think the term is useful to describe a person's sexual interests, and I absolutely do not want to remove a perfectly functional word for no reason. I do believe that bisexual doesn't need to be a "sexual identity", in the same way that homosexuality is. Why? Because looking for a monogamous homosexual (and to some extent, I'd also say asexual) relationship generally means you have to shape your entire life around that if you want to find a partner and meet an open minded and accepting group of friends. It is part of your public identity.

To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
0
reply
Jenx301
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#13
Report 4 years ago
#13
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
x
I am bisexual. I know what you are trying to get at but I reckon you are kinda missing the point..... also if this were the case then people who were bisexual would be having to be "gay" one minute and "straight" the next? For example I used to date a male, so under your ideas I would be seen as straight by most - but then after that I dated a girl so I would then be seen as gay. It would be so confusing and probably make a mockery of people who are homosexual. Lots more stuff but Im tired so will leave it at that for now. Goodnight.
2
reply
unprinted
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#14
Report 4 years ago
#14
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
And there we have bisexual erasure in a short paragraph.
2
reply
XxKingSniprxX
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 4 years ago
#15
You know you've been studying too long when you read the title as Trigonometric identities! :laugh:
1
reply
AngryJellyfish
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#16
Report 4 years ago
#16
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
Sounds like segregation to me! :zomg:
0
reply
AdjectiveNoun
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#17
(Original post by unprinted)
And there we have bisexual erasure in a short paragraph.
Um. No, no it's not. I completely understand that bisexuality is a legitimate orientation. I'd support the erasure (nice use of a trigger word, btw) of all public sexual identities, and instead focus on the individual relationships. You've latched on to a small part of point, an analogy that I have already admitted is crude.

(Original post by AngryJellyfish)
Sounds like segregation to me! :zomg:
I'm not sure how that could be described as segregation. I'm not supporting that this should be the case. In fact, by wanting to remove individual labels, I'm hoping to stop segregation. In this crude analogy that makes up a very small part of my point, I'm using minimal anecdotal data to describe what is happening.

In summary,

Labels for relationships are better than labels for individuals.

If we were to start primarily using these labels for relationships, individuals would feel considerably less pressure to conform to their orientation, and we'd have plenty of people muddling around forming attractions to whoever they wish. In the case if orientations that are discriminated against, it'd make it considerably harder to do so.

It makes a lot more sense, as gender is generally a secondary concern to attraction. To quote Marcus Morgan:

"What sexually attracts me to a person isn't just that fact that they could be of any gender. Everyone falls into that scope. What attracts me is a range of things, looks, likes, laughs, ideas, behaviour, opinions. I'm not attracted to my girlfriend simply because she's a woman, any more than I was drawn to my boyfriend just because he is a man."

With the removal of labels like this, we could all be "peoplesexuals".
0
reply
DiddyDec01
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#18
Report 4 years ago
#18
(Original post by Arkasia)
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
This.

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
AdjectiveNoun
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#19
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#19
(Original post by Jenx301)
I am bisexual. I know what you are trying to get at but I reckon you are kinda missing the point..... also if this were the case then people who were bisexual would be having to be "gay" one minute and "straight" the next? For example I used to date a male, so under your ideas I would be seen as straight by most - but then after that I dated a girl so I would then be seen as gay. It would be so confusing and probably make a mockery of people who are homosexual. Lots more stuff but Im tired so will leave it at that for now. Goodnight.
My point is that your sexual interests shouldn't be used to define you, and if you are in a relationship, then the descriptors "gay/straight" would be used to describe that relationship.
You wouldn't be "gay" or "straight" or "bisexual" at any one time. You'd be Jenx301, your past relationships or attraction criteria completely irrelevant to who you are.
0
reply
BefuddledPenguin
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#20
Report 4 years ago
#20
I'm bisexual, as far as I'm concerned that simply means that I have the potential to find myself being attracted to someone of either sex. That said I find that I have to pretend to be either gay or straight if I want to have a genuine relationship with someone. I only self-identify as bi outside of romantic circumstances, such as when I'm advocating for LGBT rights, but if I'm interested in someone the sad reality is if they know I'm bi before they get to know me they assume either that I'm a slut or I'm just a half-out gay man, which means that women won't want to be with you, as a relationship with a gay man won't end well, and men won't respect you because you are too cowardly to be all the way out of the closet.

The fact is that at the moment we need sexual identities and we need to be unashamed of talking about them, as there is still too much bigotry in the world to shy away from labels. When everyone understands and accepts the variance of human sexuality we can begin to discard labels, but until then they are necessary.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you have the space and resources you need to succeed in home learning?

Yes I have everything I need (386)
56.76%
I don't have everything I need (294)
43.24%

Watched Threads

View All