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Bisexuality, and the importance of a public sexual identities.
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The traditional definition of bisexuality is "romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity". Such a term only describes a person's private intimate needs.
The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.
If a bisexual person is monogamous, the relationship can only be either same-sex or different-sex at any one time. To explain further, if in a gay relationship, they may still be attracted to the other sex, but that attraction is now irrelevant to anyone but the individual in question (and his/her partner), in the same manner as a liking for bondage.
Alternatively, if a bisexual person is promiscuous, the details of casual encounters shouldn't usually be shared with anyone but their closest friends. Whether same-sex or different-sex, that detail is irrelevant again.
There is no such thing as a "bisexual" relationship, except in rare open relationships, the details of which once again, should not usually be shared publicly.
I move that the descriptors of gay and straight be used to describe relationships instead of the sexual identity of an individual, and that we should focus our campaigns on relationships over individuals. Doing so would save a lot of unnecessary confusion, and would hopefully help to do away with the labels that alienate and allow easy hate against those who have been been in gay relationships.
The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.
If a bisexual person is monogamous, the relationship can only be either same-sex or different-sex at any one time. To explain further, if in a gay relationship, they may still be attracted to the other sex, but that attraction is now irrelevant to anyone but the individual in question (and his/her partner), in the same manner as a liking for bondage.
Alternatively, if a bisexual person is promiscuous, the details of casual encounters shouldn't usually be shared with anyone but their closest friends. Whether same-sex or different-sex, that detail is irrelevant again.
There is no such thing as a "bisexual" relationship, except in rare open relationships, the details of which once again, should not usually be shared publicly.
I move that the descriptors of gay and straight be used to describe relationships instead of the sexual identity of an individual, and that we should focus our campaigns on relationships over individuals. Doing so would save a lot of unnecessary confusion, and would hopefully help to do away with the labels that alienate and allow easy hate against those who have been been in gay relationships.
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#2
I'd argue that presenting as bisexual can be important firstly in helping people understand that it's normal to be attracted to people of either gender, whereas insisting on calling people 'gay' or 'straight' based solely on who they're dating right now would imply to me that anything else was abnormal. Secondly, does not being in a relationship make a person asexual? Surely it's better to 'announce publicly' that you're bisexual, rather than calling yourself 'gay and straight'?
Also, I personally think it's none of my business what people decide to share publicly or not.
Also, I personally think it's none of my business what people decide to share publicly or not.
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#4
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
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#5
Well, here's my point of view.
I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.
I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.
But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to
I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.
I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.
But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to
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#6
People feel the need to come out as "bisexual" because they may want to be in a relationship with a guy or a girl at any one time and it's a way for them to be honest with themselves. If I was to date a guy, everyone would assume that I'm straight, if I date a women then I'm gay which wouldn't be the case. Also, if you come out then people know that your sexuality is fluid and that dating you wouldn't be "off the cards". People who are bisexual/ gay find it difficult to know whether a person is heterosexual or not and would usually assume that a person is straight unless made obvious otherwise.
Oh and coming out (if you want) can be important for a person, that confusion you feel for ages is a horrible thing but once you realise you're not one or the other, it can be liberating
Oh and coming out (if you want) can be important for a person, that confusion you feel for ages is a horrible thing but once you realise you're not one or the other, it can be liberating
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#8
(Original post by Arkasia)
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
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#9
(Original post by Dinasaurus)
What?
What?
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#10
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.
The more I think about it, it doesn't seem that there is any aspect of bisexuality that warrants being or indeed even benefits a "bi" individual to announce publicly.
(* I'm right, aren't I?)
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#11
Your username is particularly ironic, given the previous content of adjectivenoun.org.uk too.
web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
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(Original post by unprinted)
I think it's great that a non-bisexual person* is available to tell us bisexuals what to do. However did we manage before this?
(* I'm right, aren't I?)
I think it's great that a non-bisexual person* is available to tell us bisexuals what to do. However did we manage before this?
(* I'm right, aren't I?)
I'm not telling you, or anybody what to do. These are my thoughts on a subject. To clarify, this a discussion thread, an open question without a question mark.
(Original post by unprinted)
Your username is particularly ironic, given the previous content of adjectivenoun.org.uk too.
web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
Your username is particularly ironic, given the previous content of adjectivenoun.org.uk too.
web.archive.org/web/20011216232642/http://www.adjectivenoun.org.uk/users/marcus/iam.htm is a sample.
(Original post by Alexion)
Well, here's my point of view.
I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.
I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.
But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to
Well, here's my point of view.
I consider myself bisexual. I've announced it on here, and many of my friends know too. And I wear that metaphorical badge with pride. I don't go announcing it to every person I meet, so most people have their assumptions (which I rarely confirm or deny) that I'm straight since I've had a girlfriend and that's it on the relationship front.
I can kinda see your point, but straight/bi/gay is used to define a person's sexual interests above all else, and not relationships - redefining the terms suddenly means that people lose that identity when they're out of one. Take me, for example, right now. I could be interested in forming a relationship with a guy or a girl, whichever I meet first that I'm properly attracted to. There is no word to describe that other than bisexual.
But, as AngryJellyfish said, there's no point arguing either way - people label themselves whatever they want to
I agree, I think the term is useful to describe a person's sexual interests, and I absolutely do not want to remove a perfectly functional word for no reason. I do believe that bisexual doesn't need to be a "sexual identity", in the same way that homosexuality is. Why? Because looking for a monogamous homosexual (and to some extent, I'd also say asexual) relationship generally means you have to shape your entire life around that if you want to find a partner and meet an open minded and accepting group of friends. It is part of your public identity.
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
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#13
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
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#14
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
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#15
You know you've been studying too long when you read the title as Trigonometric identities! 
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#16
(Original post by AdjectiveNoun)
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
To put it into crude terms. A gay guy goes to gay bars. A straight guy goes to regular bars. A bisexual can go to either, and will act as and be treated appropriately depending on which.
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(Original post by unprinted)
And there we have bisexual erasure in a short paragraph.
And there we have bisexual erasure in a short paragraph.
In summary,
Labels for relationships are better than labels for individuals.
If we were to start primarily using these labels for relationships, individuals would feel considerably less pressure to conform to their orientation, and we'd have plenty of people muddling around forming attractions to whoever they wish. In the case if orientations that are discriminated against, it'd make it considerably harder to do so.
It makes a lot more sense, as gender is generally a secondary concern to attraction. To quote Marcus Morgan:
"What sexually attracts me to a person isn't just that fact that they could be of any gender. Everyone falls into that scope. What attracts me is a range of things, looks, likes, laughs, ideas, behaviour, opinions. I'm not attracted to my girlfriend simply because she's a woman, any more than I was drawn to my boyfriend just because he is a man."
With the removal of labels like this, we could all be "peoplesexuals".
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#18
(Original post by Arkasia)
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
I think bi people should be called "beautiful empowered snowflakes" and everyone else should be called "cis scum patriarchs".
Posted from TSR Mobile
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(Original post by Jenx301)
I am bisexual. I know what you are trying to get at but I reckon you are kinda missing the point..... also if this were the case then people who were bisexual would be having to be "gay" one minute and "straight" the next? For example I used to date a male, so under your ideas I would be seen as straight by most - but then after that I dated a girl so I would then be seen as gay. It would be so confusing and probably make a mockery of people who are homosexual. Lots more stuff but Im tired so will leave it at that for now. Goodnight.
I am bisexual. I know what you are trying to get at but I reckon you are kinda missing the point..... also if this were the case then people who were bisexual would be having to be "gay" one minute and "straight" the next? For example I used to date a male, so under your ideas I would be seen as straight by most - but then after that I dated a girl so I would then be seen as gay. It would be so confusing and probably make a mockery of people who are homosexual. Lots more stuff but Im tired so will leave it at that for now. Goodnight.
You wouldn't be "gay" or "straight" or "bisexual" at any one time. You'd be Jenx301, your past relationships or attraction criteria completely irrelevant to who you are.
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#20
I'm bisexual, as far as I'm concerned that simply means that I have the potential to find myself being attracted to someone of either sex. That said I find that I have to pretend to be either gay or straight if I want to have a genuine relationship with someone. I only self-identify as bi outside of romantic circumstances, such as when I'm advocating for LGBT rights, but if I'm interested in someone the sad reality is if they know I'm bi before they get to know me they assume either that I'm a slut or I'm just a half-out gay man, which means that women won't want to be with you, as a relationship with a gay man won't end well, and men won't respect you because you are too cowardly to be all the way out of the closet.
The fact is that at the moment we need sexual identities and we need to be unashamed of talking about them, as there is still too much bigotry in the world to shy away from labels. When everyone understands and accepts the variance of human sexuality we can begin to discard labels, but until then they are necessary.
The fact is that at the moment we need sexual identities and we need to be unashamed of talking about them, as there is still too much bigotry in the world to shy away from labels. When everyone understands and accepts the variance of human sexuality we can begin to discard labels, but until then they are necessary.
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