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School makes me depressed and I hate it watch

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    I was diagnosed with Aspergers and low mood toward the end of year 11. I had therapy briefly (they could only give me a few sessions because of mental health cuts ****ing love our government :bawling: ) and I honestly turned my life around. I started going out and doing new things, meeting new people and I became a different person.

    Then I started 6th form. My mental health very quickly went downhill. It wasn't so much the workload, it was just having to get up at 8 every day and spent 6 hours in school. I was tired every day, I'd get home and just go to sleep, I was late most days. I stopped going out, stopped talking to people and slipped back into depression.

    I'm now in year 14. Year 12 was a disaster so I retook half my exams. Last year (13) I almost completely stopped attending. I started to feel a bit better, I got loads of work done, and I did immensely better in my exams. I taught myself most of the stuff.

    This year I'm not allowed to do that. I've been told that I have to attend 100% of the time or I'll get kicked out. The head of 6th form says he doesn't have a choice, he has to make me come in. He's been letting me come in late/leave early some days, but starting this half term I have to be 100%.

    I've noticed that when I'm off school for school holidays etc I start to improve, I can pull myself together and I start to come out of depression, I start doing work. But then I go back to school and I'm just ****ing miserable and tired all the time.

    The worst part is that it's a huge waste of time. Most lessons are ****, and I only find 2 out of like 6 teachers helpful. I've always done better teaching myself. I can't work in my frees because I just can't focus properly at school. I can take my time with stuff I struggle with, I don't need to waste time on stuff I find easy, and if I'm having a day where I just can't concentrate then I can relax and make up for it later. I get enough sleep, I'm not tired, and I'm motivated. But when I have to go to school I'm always tired and can't bring myself to do anything. It makes me genuinely unhappy. The only time I ever learn anything or make any progress is in the school holidays.

    I hate being around people. I like meeting new people, but being around people all day tires me out and I just don't like it.

    I ****ing resent that my last few years of education have suffered because of this. If I'd been able to do things the way they work for me I'd have done a million times better. I've been extremely lucky to get the offers I have, but I'm fairly sure I'll not be able to get the grades the way things are going now.

    All my teachers just think I'm lazy. I think I might have a sleep disorder because I've never slept normal hours, but I function so much better when I can sleep late and wake up late. I'm not lazy. When I'm not depressed I do so much ****ing work, I can wake up and work until I go to bed. Ideally when I'm not at school I work all day with an hours break while I eat and watch something on Netflix, and that works for me.

    I'm sorry for ranting, I just don't know what to do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    Firstly, have you been back to your GP and told them how much you're struggling again? There's a chance you might be able to get another course of therapy or they might be more willing to let you try medication or something if you want to now you're 18. They might have a better idea of how to handle your school as well, and sort out your sleep for you.

    It sounds like your head of sixth form is doing what he can which is good, doesn't really help a lot though. Can you try and talk to him or someone else and explain what's going on? Even if there's nothing they can do your teachers might be a bit more lenient if they know you're not just lazy and a lot of schools have some kind of counselling service you might be able to try too. Other than that, I guess you'll just have to carry on as best you can for the last couple of months until you can leave unless you can come up with some sort of self-study arrangement again. Try not to let it get too bad though (yeah I know that's easier said than done, I've done it myself!)- your health is most important. Good luck!


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