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Identity crisis, relationships, family problems, failing A2... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    I'm going through a bit of a rough patch this year. Having turned 18, (without getting into too much detail), I've been experiencing with my sexuality. This has led to some sexual encounters with random strangers.
    My problem is firstly, I'm still struggling to get to grips with being gay/bisexual, especially due to my culture and religion. I want to continue to follow my religion, however being homosexual just isn't compatible.
    Second, and I think more importantly for me at this point in time, is that meeting people, forming relationships etc. can be time consuming and is a major distraction from my studies. I'm in my A2 year, and I am predicted 3A*s, and have uni offers which I have worked so hard to get. But I feel like hooking up with guys, along with some family issues which have affected my studies too, have completely decreased my confidence in getting the grades. I've gotten to the point where I don't even revise any more or do any work outside of school. Now I'm worried that I might fail my A Levels and not fulfil my dreams.
    I can't talk to my friends or family about this, and I hope I can get some non-judgemental advice from anyone out there. I know I should just focus on my studies, but I am finding it hard to find the motivation to and just don't see the point anymore. This is quite distressing for me because nearly my whole life I've been quite a studious person, but one of the most important years of my life and I feel like I'm messing it up and idk what to do
    I honestly feel like such a f*** up.

    PS I am always safe with people, and am always wary of my sexual health.
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    19
    ReputationRep:
    You've got 3 months left of this year
    Just block everything out and give it your all, take everyday as it comes, don't focus on anything other than your studies
    You can defer your offer for next year and take a gap year and sort yourself out (relationships/ sexuality wise) or you can wait until you move out for uni and start talking to people there.

    Good luck
    Spoiler:
    Show
    #hypocrisy is real but just DO IT! I know you CAN!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I'm going through a bit of a rough patch this year. Having turned 18, (without getting into too much detail), I've been experiencing with my sexuality. This has led to some sexual encounters with random strangers.
    My problem is firstly, I'm still struggling to get to grips with being gay/bisexual, especially due to my culture and religion. I want to continue to follow my religion, however being homosexual just isn't compatible.
    Second, and I think more importantly for me at this point in time, is that meeting people, forming relationships etc. can be time consuming and is a major distraction from my studies. I'm in my A2 year, and I am predicted 3A*s, and have uni offers which I have worked so hard to get. But I feel like hooking up with guys, along with some family issues which have affected my studies too, have completely decreased my confidence in getting the grades. I've gotten to the point where I don't even revise any more or do any work outside of school. Now I'm worried that I might fail my A Levels and not fulfil my dreams.
    I can't talk to my friends or family about this, and I hope I can get some non-judgemental advice from anyone out there. I know I should just focus on my studies, but I am finding it hard to find the motivation to and just don't see the point anymore. This is quite distressing for me because nearly my whole life I've been quite a studious person, but one of the most important years of my life and I feel like I'm messing it up and idk what to do
    I honestly feel like such a f*** up.

    PS I am always safe with people, and am always wary of my sexual health.
    I've been going through something similar. This year has been the worst for me also. I've also always been a top grade student but this year I have not had the same motivation to revise, my friendships have suffered and i have not felt to revise and thus my grades have suffered even though I hold university offers and have been going through many problems with my family and relationships.

    The best thing though, that honestly has helped me this year is my relationship with God I know it may sound crazy but I honestly felt like giving up recently and had suicidal thoughts so I prayed and basically poured out my heart to God in prayer; by being sincere about my problems and admitting that . And I can tell you, from that moment it was as if a burden was lifted in my heart and I didn't feel so sad.

    I could tell you to keep on and be motivated but i know that is only futile advice. I would suggest trying it. If it doesn't work, try and surround yourself with positive people who will lift you up. And in your spare time when you're alone, think about where you want to be in the future, what motivates you.

    All the best
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by z33)
    You've got 3 months left of this year
    Just block everything out and give it your all, take everyday as it comes, don't focus on anything other than your studies
    You can defer your offer for next year and take a gap year and sort yourself out (relationships/ sexuality wise) or you can wait until you move out for uni and start talking to people there.

    Good luck
    Spoiler:
    Show
    #hypocrisy is real but just DO IT! I know you CAN!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been going through something similar. This year has been the worst for me also. I've also always been a top grade student but this year I have not had the same motivation to revise, my friendships have suffered and i have not felt to revise and thus my grades have suffered even though I hold university offers and have been going through many problems with my family and relationships.

    The best thing though, that honestly has helped me this year is my relationship with God I know it may sound crazy but I honestly felt like giving up recently and had suicidal thoughts so I prayed and basically poured out my heart to God in prayer; by being sincere about my problems and admitting that . And I can tell you, from that moment it was as if a burden was lifted in my heart and I didn't feel so sad.

    I could tell you to keep on and be motivated but i know that is only futile advice. I would suggest trying it. If it doesn't work, try and surround yourself with positive people who will lift you up. And in your spare time when you're alone, think about where you want to be in the future, what motivates you.

    All the best
    Thank you both. Words I needed to hear.
 
 
 
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