The Student Room Group

how do you make friends?

Yes, how?

And don't say "be nice", because you know that's not true. I've always in my life been respectful to people but it's got nowhere.

People should admit that getting friends is just default and luck. Think about it. Chavs who are violent have friends. Are they "nice"? And even if they have friends because people fear them, they might still get some friends who respect them for who they are and share the same values.

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Be interesting and not boring. Also be open more.

Its nothing to do with default and luck.
Reply 2
Don't going around acting in real life as you do here.
Reply 3
Making the first connection like meeting up somewhere getting their number etc etc
Reply 4
supernova2
Be interesting and not boring. Also be open more.

Its nothing to do with default and luck.


Yes it does.
Reply 5
Being nice has always worked for me. And as for your point about chavs....I guess it depends on how a person defines 'nice'.
Reply 6
I make a joke and people laugh. Then I continue making jokes until they make reference that I am their friend :redface:
Reply 7
boys-play-rock-and-roll
Being nice has always worked for me. And as for your point about chavs....I guess it depends on how a person defines 'nice'.


So what is nice then?
Reply 8
That's my point.

According to the dictionary: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nice
According to me: someone/something that isn't nasty
According to chavs: I don't know, never been inside the mind of a chav.

Different for everyone.
Reply 9
toth8
So what is nice then?


You could start by giving more sympathetic advice on threads instead of:

"so what?"
"nobody has to like you"
"life's tough get over it"

That sort of thing probably doesn't endear you to people much.
Reply 10
toth8
People should admit that getting friends is just default and luck. Think about it.


Yoda must be a pretty ****ing lucky guy. Perhaps he should take some time out to do the lottery.

It doesn't matter how "nice" you are - if you don't bring something to the table you might as well piss off. What do you have to offer the group? Yoda's greatness? Yoda's comedy? Whining like a bitch about how it isn't your fault no-one likes you?

You're there sucking up to them in hopes they'll be your friend. If you let them **** on you, thats what they'll do.
I normally hold them until Stockholm syndrome kicks in, after that they are friends for life. I just have to remember to feed them every now and then.

If you don't make friends by being yourself, then you are trying to make friends with the wrong people.
Reply 12
Well if not be nice, what else can you do?

I suppose finding common ground with someone is something to take into account.

Don't be to eager...you know talk but let them talk to....

Meh, that's all i have to say
toth8
Yes it does.


So, you're not really asking for advice, but rather moaning about your lack of friends and blaming fate for it.

It's not about luck. To attract people, you need a special something. Be that a shared interest with people, buff looks, wit and humour, intelligence, niceness... etcetc. Find what "role" you can perform, find a group of friends who don't have that "role" played in their social circle, and "hey -sainsbury's basics- pesto", you have new friends!!

Kisskiss,
E.
x
emmajcunningham
Find what "role" you can perform, find a group of friends who don't have that "role" played in their social circle, and "hey -sainsbury's basics- pesto", you have new friends!!


If you get someone playing the role of nice person in a gang of nasty people wouldn't they just get eaten for breakfast? (In the metaphorical sense :p: )

It seems to me there needs to be something in common to bind friends together, even if they're different in lots of other ways.
Reply 15
I think that perhaps you have to be interesting, the other person, to a degree, must be intrigued by you and find your company to their tastes before they'll be your friend.
Finding someone who truly complements you is difficult, most people settle for someone with whom they moderately get along with.

Certainly, being friendly can't go wrong.
But, you must also show that you are assertive so that the person knows that they cannot treat you badly.

I think that making true friends is one of the hardest things you can do as a person - a lot of it requires perseverance, understanding and willingness to adapt.
Making fake friends is easy.
Angrybanana
If you get someone playing the role of nice person in a gang of nasty people wouldn't they just get eaten for breakfast? (In the metaphorical sense :p: )


Every nasty gang has a nice person.
Classic, Theodore.
Finding someone who truly complements you is difficult, most people settle for someone with whom they moderately get along with.

Certainly, being friendly can't go wrong.
But, you must also show that you are assertive so that the person knows that they cannot treat you badly.

I think that making true friends is one of the hardest things you can do as a person - a lot of it requires perseverance, understanding and willingness to adapt.
Making fake friends is easy.


Completely agree. It can take years to build up a genuine lasting friendship with someone. Everyone will have aspects of their personality which annoy you, what matters is whether or not it's outweighed by characteristics you do like.
You're only saying someone's "lucky" to have friends, because that makes YOU "unlucky" and being "unlucky" is nothing that you can do anything about: it's just fate or whatever. And therefore, if you're unlucky, it's not your fault and you can't do anything about it.

Perhaps you need to realise that you do have control over your attitude, rather than lying the blame with anyone but yourself. You can make friends but it takes time. You might have realise that friendship means investing your time and effort in other people.
Reply 19
If you get someone playing the role of nice person in a gang of nasty people wouldn't they just get eaten for breakfast? (In the metaphorical sense)


Yep. Trust me, I've been part of it. I hung around with alot of pricks at school, just because my best mates hung around with them, I guess. I can't say I never called someone , but I always knew when people were going too far. When I told them they were going too far, I had the piss taken out of me, so yeah. Taking the piss out of people is ''cool'' according to kids at that age, so when you're not doing that, you're not ''cool''. Thank god most people grow out of that...