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Conflict with flatmate escalating, things got ugly

I live in Student halls, there are 5 people in my flat. For a few months I have a problem with one of them, he accuses me of making mess, taking his stuff and not cleaning after myself,
He is the only one in the flat with such complaints, I get along with everyone else.
I talked it through with him several times but every time it ends up the same: I believe we have reached a compromise, I believe I stick to my end of the deal but he believes he was completely ignored.
It's been going on for months and I feel it's at the melting point now.

Yesterday he went all psycho on me when we met. I honestly think he needs medical help for his anger issues - there is something wrong with him and I can't really say I feel safe in my flat any more after yesterday, there is just NO reasoning with him

I am happy with the level of our mess in our kitchen, it is about as clean as my friends' kitchens. Nobody else is complaining about me as far as I know. I can honestly say I have been trying to avoid setting him off, but yesterday's rage proved that it's out of my realm of possibilities.

As far as I know he went to oficially complaint three times (he told me), even went as far as to ask them to contact me about my "bad habits", but since I never got any I guess the staff just thought his complaints are weird (they are).

I am unsure of what to do now, since he is completely convinced I am the devil himself plotting against him. Reason just doesn't work, every time I try he accuses me of lying. Every thing that happens in the kitchen is automatically my fault, and there is no convincing him that it wasn't me.


Because it escalated almost to the level of physical violence I feel something needs to be done. I have exhausted all options to satisfy the guy, I honestly do think he has a mental problem of some kind.

Oh, and he's coming there tomorrow to talk. I have no idea how to handle that conversation to be honest.

Need advice,
cheers
Hmm if he hit you you could call the police apart from that can you ask the maniger to move him?
Reply 2
Avatar for SMEGGGY
SMEGGGY
21
He does sound ****ing crazy. Is he picking on anyone else? are they saying the same as you about him? Have a house meeting and see if he can be removed? record his outbursts and produce it as proof to the Manager etc
Original post by Anonymous
I live in Student halls, there are 5 people in my flat. For a few months I have a problem with one of them, he accuses me of making mess, taking his stuff and not cleaning after myself,
He is the only one in the flat with such complaints, I get along with everyone else.
I talked it through with him several times but every time it ends up the same: I believe we have reached a compromise, I believe I stick to my end of the deal but he believes he was completely ignored.
It's been going on for months and I feel it's at the melting point now.

Yesterday he went all psycho on me when we met. I honestly think he needs medical help for his anger issues - there is something wrong with him and I can't really say I feel safe in my flat any more after yesterday, there is just NO reasoning with him

I am happy with the level of our mess in our kitchen, it is about as clean as my friends' kitchens. Nobody else is complaining about me as far as I know. I can honestly say I have been trying to avoid setting him off, but yesterday's rage proved that it's out of my realm of possibilities.

As far as I know he went to oficially complaint three times (he told me), even went as far as to ask them to contact me about my "bad habits", but since I never got any I guess the staff just thought his complaints are weird (they are).

I am unsure of what to do now, since he is completely convinced I am the devil himself plotting against him. Reason just doesn't work, every time I try he accuses me of lying. Every thing that happens in the kitchen is automatically my fault, and there is no convincing him that it wasn't me.


Because it escalated almost to the level of physical violence I feel something needs to be done. I have exhausted all options to satisfy the guy, I honestly do think he has a mental problem of some kind.

Oh, and he's coming there tomorrow to talk. I have no idea how to handle that conversation to be honest.

Need advice,
cheers


Minute he raises voice, or hands at you; that's it. Leave: lodge formal complaint, if necessary, call the police.
Reply 4
Avatar for Klix88
Klix88
17
Original post by Anonymous
he's coming there tomorrow to talk. I have no idea how to handle that conversation to be honest.

Need advice,
cheers

Firstly, meet in a public place or make sure you have someone else with you if you can't. You fear for your physical safety and you need someone else to see how he speaks/acts.

Then you should get advice from your Students Union. One of the terms & conditions that all students accept when they enrol, is that they respect other people's right to work/study without fear. Making you feel that you're being threatened is breaking that and at its worst extreme, could lead to disciplinary action. You should feel safe in your flat and the Student Union should be able to advise on how to proceed.

As a quick fix, approach your Accommodation Office and ask if you can transfer to another flat/building until the end of the academic year. Get yourself out of harm's way.
honestly, there's not much you can do... if he threatens you you should call your campus security/warden or whatever at the time and report the threat, but most accommodation won't do anything if he hasn't literally beaten the crap out of you as it's just too much work to remove him

you could ask if there are spare rooms in any other flats but it seems a shame if you get on with everyone else and it's very possible to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire so to speak!

another option is to ask your accommodation to mediate a meeting but if he is being crazy and unreasonable then again, this will probably just continue right after wards

I would just stay out of their way and do your best not to piss them off and make sure you don't live with them next year

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