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    My brother met his current wife just over a year ago, they hit it off for a few months and decided to get married, a few months later. They have only been married for 5 months and I was yesterday given the news that she is 4 months pregnant.

    They both live in the family home. I should be happy but I'm not. I woke up this morning feeling really empty and depressed (I suffer from depression already). I feel sad because they haven't been able to spend at least one year together doing fun things, and now they are going to be tied down and, effectively, tie the rest of the family down with a screaming kid in the house. I sound really bitter but I just can't be happy. They are happy themselves, so I should be happy for them... I already feel my brother is too good for his wife and me and her don't really get on that well so I don't know if this is part of the problem.

    I can't focus on my work, I don't know what to do.
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    its their life not yours, you should be happy for them and allow them to live it how they want. some people who have met after a month know that they are the one for each other and get married.
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    (Original post by mkap)
    its their life not yours, you should be happy for them and allow them to live it how they want. some people who have met after a month know that they are the one for each other and get married.
    To be fair, the person is allowed to be annoyed if their sibling is married and having a kid, while they still live in the family home. It means that OP will have to deal with a baby that isn't even theirs, and the baby can disrupt their sleep, studies and their life in general. Getting married and having kids quickly is fine, but move out from your parent's house first unless it's fully accepted by everyone involved. Especially because it sounds like OP is too young to move out themselves, so they don't have a choice in staying.

    OP: You're doing something that I sometimes easily do. You are projecting yourself into your brother's position, and because you don't like it, it makes you upset. It's not a good thing to do because different people are made happy with different things. I for example would be miserable if I was to be pregnant now, but someone else would be overjoyed. It means I can sometimes look at women with big bellies and get instantly annoyed that it's going to ruin their life, even though the baby is probably planned and they are happy about it. You need to remember that you and him have different expectations and plans for life, and everything is clearly going the way he wants it to be in his life, even if the same situation for you would be a disaster.

    And not being happy with a baby in your house is absolutely reasonable. I'd be annoyed too.
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    I'd definitely be annoyed if my brother was bringing his family Into my family home. Having a baby completely turns the world upside down for everyone already let alone having them live in your house. It's pretty selfish IMO to just expect everyone to be happy about it. I'd make sure I found my own house first before starting a family so I didn't disrupt an already stable family unit, especially if it was my in-laws house and not even my own parents! The OP's parents have had their days of night feeds and babies crying in the early hours, they shouldn't be subjected to it again.

    As for your brothers happiness, don't make that your concern. Just be there for him if things go wrong and he needs your support.
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    You know once the babe is here you'll probably be thrilled. Babies are fascinating. They just are like that. It's a natural human reaction to find them lovable. You'll all be competing to cuddle him, bath him, play with him. Suddenly life will be full of joy and interest and you'll wonder how you could possibly have thought a baby was a burden.

    Having a young baby/child around is one of the best things in life! Enjoy it.
 
 
 
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