Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

would it be crazy to marry my girlfriend whilst I'm at school? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    so.... some people are going to think this is insane but please try and be open minded.
    before I begin: we can legally get married here in Scotland as I'm 16 and she's 17 (will be 18 by the time we do it if we do), and the law here is that everyone over the age of 16 can get married without parental permission, including gay couples (which we are obviously lol).
    so... me and my girlfriend want to get married. it started out as a joke but now it's become quite serious. we've been together three months but if we did go through with this we would have been together 8 or 9 by the time we got married.
    I know that we're young and everything but I'm so sure about this, I really, really love her. and I know that'll we'll stay together. I know that a lot of people will be reading this and thinking that it's insane etc, and I swear four months ago that would have been me, but now I swear I've never been as sure about anything else than I am that we should get married. she really wants to too.
    but... we are still very young. she's going to uni in September and I'm in fifth year currently doing my highers.
    I'm good in school and am hoping to go to a very competitive uni, and she has unconditionals from a number of unis including Saint Andrews - so it's not like we're a young couple who are just going to have kids young and ruin our lives or whatever.
    some people will say this is insane. and I understand why they would, but honestly, i am so increadibly in love. I want this so badly. we would keep it a secret of course, and after finishing uni would have a proper ceremony and everything- before that only we will know that we're married.
    would it be completely nuts to finish my highers, get secretly married in summer, and come back into sixth year as a married woman? like is that insane ? because I can see that it is crazy... but at the same time I so, so want to.
    if we did get married, would anyone have to find out? do they ask anything to do with that on ucas?

    lol. I know this is nuts... try and be open minded though. I'm very very deeply in love.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    It would be insane. I'm sorry. But it would be crazy.

    You've only been together 3 months, you are, by definition, in the infatuation stage. You feel like you love each other, but so early on you can't differentiate love from infatuation. Even people in their 20s and 30s can't, so as a teenager when your emotions run much higher it's impossible.

    Why on earth would you want to get married now? It seems like you want to make some grand gesture to show off to people; if you tally think your relationship is genuine there's no need to make a big song and dance of trying to make people believe it. You've not even finished school, you've got so much you need to do with your life and you are going to change SO much in the next 10 years. I'm 26 and a different person to who I was 3 years ago, let alone who I was at 16! And similarly, I've been in love with people before and thought it was the real deal... And now I look back and think 'What on earth was I thinking?'

    It's not just a cliche: you ARE far too young to make the decision to take the step of marriage now.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so.... some people are going to think this is insane but please try and be open minded.
    before I begin: we can legally get married here in Scotland as I'm 16 and she's 17 (will be 18 by the time we do it if we do), and the law here is that everyone over the age of 16 can get married without parental permission, including gay couples (which we are obviously lol).
    so... me and my girlfriend want to get married. it started out as a joke but now it's become quite serious. we've been together three months but if we did go through with this we would have been together 8 or 9 by the time we got married.
    I know that we're young and everything but I'm so sure about this, I really, really love her. and I know that'll we'll stay together. I know that a lot of people will be reading this and thinking that it's insane etc, and I swear four months ago that would have been me, but now I swear I've never been as sure about anything else than I am that we should get married. she really wants to too.
    but... we are still very young. she's going to uni in September and I'm in fifth year currently doing my highers.
    I'm good in school and am hoping to go to a very competitive uni, and she has unconditionals from a number of unis including Saint Andrews - so it's not like we're a young couple who are just going to have kids young and ruin our lives or whatever.
    some people will say this is insane. and I understand why they would, but honestly, i am so increadibly in love. I want this so badly. we would keep it a secret of course, and after finishing uni would have a proper ceremony and everything- before that only we will know that we're married.
    would it be completely nuts to finish my highers, get secretly married in summer, and come back into sixth year as a married woman? like is that insane ? because I can see that it is crazy... but at the same time I so, so want to.
    if we did get married, would anyone have to find out? do they ask anything to do with that on ucas?

    lol. I know this is nuts... try and be open minded though. I'm very very deeply in love.


    Although you are quite young and you have your whole life ahead of you, its not wrong.
    It is most definitely nuts but loving someone is a natural thing to do.
    In my opinion, you should focus on your studies and try to keep yours and her relationship as a gf-gf one. There's still several years ahead of you, which will honestly fly by. If you want to, get engaged and keep it as a waiting for the final goal kind of thing if that makes sense.

    Best of Luck
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    Don't ever marry at such a young age it is a grave mistake and you are being naive. You may think that you love her with all your heart but you have only been together a few months. You are still at an age where your personalities change so it is very probable that, given a few months, you are no longer compatible. Honestly think. What do you get out of marrying? The actual rewards from marrying right now are almost non existent so why take the risk?

    Would never suggest marrying before being together at least 2 years, let alone at 17/18 years old. Don't be naive. Don't ruin your life.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so.... some people are going to think this is insane but please try and be open minded.
    before I begin: we can legally get married here in Scotland as I'm 16 and she's 17 (will be 18 by the time we do it if we do), and the law here is that everyone over the age of 16 can get married without parental permission, including gay couples (which we are obviously lol).
    so... me and my girlfriend want to get married. it started out as a joke but now it's become quite serious. we've been together three months but if we did go through with this we would have been together 8 or 9 by the time we got married.
    I know that we're young and everything but I'm so sure about this, I really, really love her. and I know that'll we'll stay together. I know that a lot of people will be reading this and thinking that it's insane etc, and I swear four months ago that would have been me, but now I swear I've never been as sure about anything else than I am that we should get married. she really wants to too.
    but... we are still very young. she's going to uni in September and I'm in fifth year currently doing my highers.
    I'm good in school and am hoping to go to a very competitive uni, and she has unconditionals from a number of unis including Saint Andrews - so it's not like we're a young couple who are just going to have kids young and ruin our lives or whatever.
    some people will say this is insane. and I understand why they would, but honestly, i am so increadibly in love. I want this so badly. we would keep it a secret of course, and after finishing uni would have a proper ceremony and everything- before that only we will know that we're married.
    would it be completely nuts to finish my highers, get secretly married in summer, and come back into sixth year as a married woman? like is that insane ? because I can see that it is crazy... but at the same time I so, so want to.
    if we did get married, would anyone have to find out? do they ask anything to do with that on ucas?

    lol. I know this is nuts... try and be open minded though. I'm very very deeply in love.
    You don't need to ask us if it's insane. You already know it's insane, you've said it enough times.
    The odds are not in your favour tbh, most teenage relationships do not last. Why can't you just be in a committed relationship? Or even be engaged? Why do you need to get married? If you think that doing so would somehow make your relationship stronger, you're sadly mistaken. Just enjoy being young and being committed to someone. If anything, you could try living together for a bit to see if you're as compatible as you say.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    This is insane, you're still kids! Why is is it so important for your to get married anyway? Surely if you think you love each other (which is frankly unlikely after only 3 months together and at 16/17), you'll know you feel the same after finishing Uni, so why can't you do it then? Not to be harsh but 9 times out of 10, getting married at such a young age after so little time together does not work out and breaking up will be messy if you're legally together.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Yes it would.

    Wait until after you've both finished uni.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Terrible idea.
    Offline

    18
    Oh dear...

    At least wait till you finish uni first

    What would you do if you found yourself madly in love with someone else when she's away?
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    I just wanted to say, get married. Just not yet.

    Be engaged, buy each other a ring, admit loudly and publicly to everyone you know that you are madly in love with this woman. Stand by her, and have her stand by you. Behave like a married couple. Introduce her as your wife.

    But wait to get married. What's the rush?

    Source: Been married. Loved him to the moon and back. Loved the very bones of him. Thought we could overcome anything. Now divorced. Divorce is more expensive and difficult than getting married.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so.... some people are going to think this is insane but please try and be open minded.
    before I begin: we can legally get married here in Scotland as I'm 16 and she's 17 (will be 18 by the time we do it if we do), and the law here is that everyone over the age of 16 can get married without parental permission, including gay couples (which we are obviously lol).
    so... me and my girlfriend want to get married. it started out as a joke but now it's become quite serious. we've been together three months but if we did go through with this we would have been together 8 or 9 by the time we got married.
    I know that we're young and everything but I'm so sure about this, I really, really love her. and I know that'll we'll stay together. I know that a lot of people will be reading this and thinking that it's insane etc, and I swear four months ago that would have been me, but now I swear I've never been as sure about anything else than I am that we should get married. she really wants to too.
    but... we are still very young. she's going to uni in September and I'm in fifth year currently doing my highers.
    I'm good in school and am hoping to go to a very competitive uni, and she has unconditionals from a number of unis including Saint Andrews - so it's not like we're a young couple who are just going to have kids young and ruin our lives or whatever.
    some people will say this is insane. and I understand why they would, but honestly, i am so increadibly in love. I want this so badly. we would keep it a secret of course, and after finishing uni would have a proper ceremony and everything- before that only we will know that we're married.
    would it be completely nuts to finish my highers, get secretly married in summer, and come back into sixth year as a married woman? like is that insane ? because I can see that it is crazy... but at the same time I so, so want to.
    if we did get married, would anyone have to find out? do they ask anything to do with that on ucas?

    lol. I know this is nuts... try and be open minded though. I'm very very deeply in love.
    Honestly? It is crazy and most of all likely a mistake.

    3 months in and you;re still teenagers?

    The odds are very heavily stacked against this relationship being the home-runner that marriage usually warrants.
    You still have a lot of growing up to do, even though you might think you've developed as much as you will psychologically.
    Your life circumstances WILL change.
    What is important to you today may very well be a complete irrelevance a few years down the line.


    On the other hand you only live once.

    If it's what you REALLY want to do, and both you and your partner are prepared for any and all consequences then go for it.

    I wouldn't do it, but you are not me and I'm not you. Maybe you guys really do have something lasting and warrants such a commitment.

    I doubt it, truth be told (no malice intended, just the reality of these sort of things), but yeah.

    As long as you guys aren't hurting anyone then go for it, BUT, this will likely create some strains in your relationships with your families, it will be a heavy cost (unless you go full dirt-cheap elopement) on your (I assume) meagre finances.

    Best of luck, just remember to try and lead as much with your head as your heart. Feelings are swell, but must always be tempered with common sense.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Not only would it be crazy, it would be ****ing stupid.
    I don't even know if you are trolling.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    This made me smile when I read it It sounds really lovely, but only you and your gf can say what the best decision would be. Good luck !
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I think you should go ahead, yolo.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Focus on your GCSE's fam.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    You haven't really been together long enough to make a decision like this, even if you were an adult and had been in various serious relationships 3 months is just not enough time. Just wait it out, if you're seriously right for each other you'll be able to make the LDR work and you can think about getting married / living together after
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so.... some people are going to think this is insane but please try and be open minded.
    before I begin: we can legally get married here in Scotland as I'm 16 and she's 17 (will be 18 by the time we do it if we do), and the law here is that everyone over the age of 16 can get married without parental permission, including gay couples (which we are obviously lol).
    so... me and my girlfriend want to get married. it started out as a joke but now it's become quite serious. we've been together three months but if we did go through with this we would have been together 8 or 9 by the time we got married.
    I know that we're young and everything but I'm so sure about this, I really, really love her. and I know that'll we'll stay together. I know that a lot of people will be reading this and thinking that it's insane etc, and I swear four months ago that would have been me, but now I swear I've never been as sure about anything else than I am that we should get married. she really wants to too.
    but... we are still very young. she's going to uni in September and I'm in fifth year currently doing my highers.
    I'm good in school and am hoping to go to a very competitive uni, and she has unconditionals from a number of unis including Saint Andrews - so it's not like we're a young couple who are just going to have kids young and ruin our lives or whatever.
    some people will say this is insane. and I understand why they would, but honestly, i am so increadibly in love. I want this so badly. we would keep it a secret of course, and after finishing uni would have a proper ceremony and everything- before that only we will know that we're married.
    would it be completely nuts to finish my highers, get secretly married in summer, and come back into sixth year as a married woman? like is that insane ? because I can see that it is crazy... but at the same time I so, so want to.
    if we did get married, would anyone have to find out? do they ask anything to do with that on ucas?

    lol. I know this is nuts... try and be open minded though. I'm very very deeply in love.
    Wait till after uni; just because you've not been together long so there's no guarantee it'd work out well
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    TSR Ladies and gentlemen
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    On a more serious note .... Wait it out ... Me and my GF have been going out since the end of Year 9 ( We are both in Year 12 ) and we are very close and are a proper Couple however before we even think of making that commitment to one another theres Uni to sort out , getting onto my career path etc ....
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Unless you need to marry, I would propose to engage. That is practically the same promise, but without any legal consequences.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    Hell to the yes it is insane. You've been together 3 months. There is a difference between lust/infatuation and love. Wait till you've been together at least 2 years. And till you've finished university.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 24, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.