Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

How do I handle a guy who hurt me? watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I was in a casual relationship with a guy who also happened to be a dear friend. Long story short I developed feelings and he hurt me really badly, though unintentionally. One day I lashed out and told him how much he had hurt me. He told me how sorry he was and agreed to give me space. I haven't spoken to him since but have found that I am not healing. Every day I end up crying at some point, even though I feel fine for the rest of the day. I miss him and his texts and phone calls, I feel lonely even when I surround myself with other people. But every time I think about contacting him again I get this burning feeling in my chest and want to start to cry again.

    He thinks that I' just taking a break from him and will come back sooner or later but I don't know if I can handle resuming any sort of relationship with him. I need to figure out how soothe away the heartache and move on. Will it make things better or worse if I just tell him that I'm cutting contact for good?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    By the way this isn't the first time he hurt me unintentionally but it's the first time I was upfront about how I felt.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Cut his balls off.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Give your self some time away from him.

    But the fact that you miss his calls/texts shows that you still want to be with him.

    So even if there was anyway you could forgive him, do it.

    If you can't handle the heartbreak, just stay well away and move on x
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    How did he hurt you?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Alfed)
    How did he hurt you?
    Sorry for the late reply.

    To update my situation I am in contact with him again so the "break" is over. To summarise this guy used me as rebound. A girl broke his heart and he was completely devastated. He told me what happened and I attempted to comfort him but things got out of hand and he ended up using me sexually and as an emotional crutch. I thought I could handle it and tried to keep myself emotionally detached to some degree but obviously that didn't work.

    He's not the spiteful type; he either did not mean to hurt me and did not realise he was or was just indifferent to it. Now whenever I talk to him all I can think about is how he used to hurt me daily by giving me detailed information about his relationship with this other girl, how he will never love anyone like her and how amazing she is. Now he claims to have moved on and is happy and enjoying life again, which is good but I'm feeling bitter that he more or less crushed me to get to that stage. He claims to have feelings for me and that I am one of the few people he can confide in but my bitterness overwhelmes me too much to have any positive thoughts or feelings about it.

    I just worry about hurting him by cutting contact for good just when he is starting to feel good about life again. But I don't know if our friendship (or whatever you can call our relationship) can be repaired.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    you shouldnt be with someone who has hurt you so much whether intentional or not. the best way to get over someone who has is to distance yourself from them and everytime you think of them remember how they hurt you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by mkap)
    you shouldnt be with someone who has hurt you so much whether intentional or not. the best way to get over someone who has is to distance yourself from them and everytime you think of them remember how they hurt you.
    Yes, I do not think that I could ever be in a happy relationship now.

    I just worry about being consumed by guilt if I hurt him right after I helped him to heal. I'm not the vengeful sort so the fact that he may or may not deserve it won't remove the guilt.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    *in a happy relationship with him
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    By the neck
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    You don't.
    You pick yourself up, get yourself together and MOVE ON.
    You deserve much better!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by whorace)
    By the neck
    Lol :P
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by harmony_x)
    You don't.
    You pick yourself up, get yourself together and MOVE ON.
    You deserve much better!
    I know I will have to do this at one point. Just wish that I could find it in me to give myself that extra push now rather than later.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I just don't get the whole 'developing feelings' thing.

    Just don't develop feelings. Simple.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by stefano865)
    I just don't get the whole 'developing feelings' thing.

    Just don't develop feelings. Simple.
    You sound like a teenage girl
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    You sound like a teenage girl

    Are you a teenage girl?

    Maybe that's why you didn't get my little joke.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by stefano865)
    Are you a teenage girl?

    Maybe that's why you didn't get my little joke.
    Oh that was a joke? (rekt) I always thought you were a woman
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by whorace)
    Oh that was a joke? (rekt) I always thought you were a woman
    Fight fight fight!
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Fight fight fight!

    Tbh this guy is probably my equal.

    No point taking it further.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Fight fight fight!

    Who do you love the most?

    Out of interest.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 3, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.