I'll start off by saying two things firstly I apologise for how long this post is (I think it will help me to spell it all out) and secondly that I am genuinely a nice guy, and have no intentions to hurt the feelings of anyone I come in contact with. Background about me, I'm a 17 year old boy who is coming up to A levels in a few months. Even so, I find myself in a pretty crap situation relationship wise and feel upset a lot of the time. So, there's this girl - for simplicity let's call her Lucy, who I have been close friends with for many years. Last year, things between me and Lucy became complex as I developed feelings for her and although I didn't know it at the time, she had those same feelings for me. The issue was and the reason I never said anything was a great of friend of mine had admitted to everyone that he already liked Lucy and he was getting with her. Although it hurt, I thought fair play... She ended up not actually getting with him at all and told him it couldn't happen. This was because she actually liked me. However, she never said anything because we were really close and didn't want to screw it up. I couldn't them do anything because it would be awful of me to move in on her right after she had pied off my friend. Summer Holidays then happened and I sort of got over the feelings I had. This year comes around, and at the start of the school year there is a sort of welcome back party/ball - I speak to Lucy etc about her holidays and whatever is going on with her, and we become close again. I then tell her I like her a few weeks later and she doesn't know what to do. (Lucy had a boyfriend of like 2-3 years who left her brutally - she is scared of commitment and serious relationships) I say fine, I get it but... It's not much fun tbh. Things carry on as they are, and eventually at another party I get really drunk and say stupid stuff and fall out with Lucy even though I still care a lot about her. We don't talk for 3 months - (I am really bad at holding grudges) - my feelings for her disapate. She then asks if we can talk again and I say sure because I miss her as a friend a lot. We then carry on for a month or so and I start liking her again. At this point I'm just pissed with myself for letting myself like her again. Anyway we go on xmas holidays and message alot and I start to think that maybe this time it will be different.
I should mention at this point that I am a decent dancer, as is Lucy and we had both auditioned for the same dance production. Now I somehow managed to land the lead role in the dance production, where as my opposite lead / partner was not Lucy but another girl let's call her Jasmine gets that part. Lucy and Jasmine are competitors in terms of dance so don't really like each other. This puts me in a tough situation as I am dancing with jasmine no matter what. Lucy admits to me that she hates me dancing with jasmine and gets very jealous/upset about it.
Further to this as we practise and rehearse, jasmine starts to like me. Now she is very nice, beautiful etc. And most people are like wtf why aren't you with her. However I told jasmine that I didn't think it was smart because if things end badly then we still have to be in love in the show and it would be not good... She gets this and it hasn't been awkward or anything since. I still sort of like Lucy but she's very cagey about everything and I asked her 'how jealous do you have to be before you admit to yourself you care...' Etc. She had no answer. Then at another party I got pretty drunk and got with another girl who I know quite well and might possibly like me too. Now both Lucy and Jasmine are a bit annoyed with me, neither will tell me upfront where they are at.
There is only 3 months left of school and I have A levels to focus on so I just thought haha screw it I'm going to focus on work. At the end of the day, I really do care about Lucy but she messed me around so much I'm sort of done. Haha anyone who's still reading, hats off to you, what do you make of it all and what should I do about it?
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Complicated Situation watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-02-2016 08:58
- Community Assistant
- 24-02-2016 09:15
I don't think you're in the wrong at any point of this, you never actually committed to any of these girls, you just sound like a flirty person- and there's nothing wrong with that! It's okay being naturally flirty!! (I am too 😂)
and tbh, hats of to you about the part when your friend liked "lucy" too, you backed off and I think that was brave of you!
She did mess you around and honestly, she doesn't seem like someone you should date!
Maybe you should focus on exams! A-Levels are so soon, we need to be revising 😉
If you need anymore advice, PM me
Hope it helped!!
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