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Is this a cop out?

Having quit a university and college due to panic and anxiety Im thinking of starting an open university degree. However to me this seems like a cop out instead of facing up to my fears, the thing is though if I go back to uni I will probably end up quiting again and lose lots of money again so I really don't know what the best thing to do is. I would love to do an OU course and stay at home it would be great and I think I would pass but at the same I feel like a failure. Just wondered what you think, how would you feel and what would you do in this situation? Im almost 22 so Im just getting older and older and not getting anywhere.

Reply 1

spacecowgirl89

1

If it's what you really want to do, and you'd be happy doing it - then go for it. There's no point in pushing yourself to go back to uni if you don't really want to be there, that's a waste of your time and money. Do what makes you happy - I'm sure nobody thinks you're a failure, they just want you to do what's best for you! :smile:

Reply 2

--

3

Yes. University isn't just about getting a degree and if you spend the next few years in your home you'll probably end up staying there, you should really try and get back out there.

Reply 3

goodLife

OP

spacecowgirl89

If it's what you really want to do, and you'd be happy doing it - then go for it. There's no point in pushing yourself to go back to uni if you don't really want to be there, that's a waste of your time and money. Do what makes you happy - I'm sure nobody thinks you're a failure, they just want you to do what's best for you! :smile:

k both threads have replies lol, it is what I really want to do as Ive experienced university life (though I lived at home admitted) for 6 months and I hated it cause of the anxiety. I feel embarrased telling people that im doing a degree online though lol, they might realise that I can't handle university.

Reply 4

decky1989

1

I'd recommend the OU it suits your circumstances well and no your not copping out!GUD LUCK! :smile:

Reply 5

Fluent in Lies

2

Maybe you need to tackle the reasons why you dropped out last time.

Reply 6

goodLife

OP

Thanks, thats what I thought fluent but its costing me to keep starting at different uni's then dropping out lol.

Reply 7

wendizzle22

1

Maybe you could do the Open University course and in the remainder of your time work on the anxiety problems, such as going to meetings, meditating, going to the doctors...any way that might help you! Or perhaps studying isn't for you and exams just top off the stress, so a job may be better?

However, one good thing about going to university is that there are free councellors and groups where you can learn to tackle anxiety and stress. University is a great environment to make yourself into a more confident person as there are so many other people around who feel the same and are trying to find their place in the world. It's going to be much tougher in the future in the competitive world of employment so the skill you develop will come in great use!

Reply 8

Angrybanana

11

One day you'll have to move out and get a job somewhere, and you may well struggle with your anxiety then aswell. The best thing you can do is tackle the root of your problem and go to university to prove to yourself that you can overcome it. If not you will always feel bad about it which will do nothing for your confidence. Life is full of situations like this which will cause a great deal of trauma and anxiety so the best thing you can do is work on equipping yourself with the tools to fight it. Best of luck

Reply 9

tehjonny

8

goodLife

k both threads have replies lol, it is what I really want to do as Ive experienced university life (though I lived at home admitted) for 6 months and I hated it cause of the anxiety. I feel embarrased telling people that im doing a degree online though lol, they might realise that I can't handle university.

Good luck living life if you can't deal with people.

No-one else seems to have the balls to tell it to you straight, so I guess it'll be me. It is a cop-out. You cop-out of this, you will cop-out of the next thing that is a bit difficult, and again, and again. Then you won't just feel like a failure, you will be one.

So pull your ****ing socks up and face up to what we call LIFE.

Reply 10

goodLife

OP

Do you mean actually living in halls as I would probably stay at home even if I didn't have the anxiety. I have been to university for a year living at home and am not keen on all the going to pubs at lunchtime I just found it boring. I don't like clubbing either lol, probably cause I'm boring.

Reply 11

Riddy

tehjonny

Good luck living life if you can't deal with people.

No-one else seems to have the balls to tell it to you straight, so I guess it'll be me. It is a cop-out. You cop-out of this, you will cop-out of the next thing that is a bit difficult, and again, and again. Then you won't just feel like a failure, you will be one.

So pull your ****ing socks up and face up to what we call LIFE.

Dude I have panic attacks and have dropped out of uni and have just started crying reading that, I can't handle life and panic at random times. No rest for the weak.

Reply 12

wendizzle22

1

Well..what do you enjoy doing? If you participate in the things you like then the confidence you gain from that will transpire to other areas of life. You don't have to go to the pub every day if you don't want to! You could dedicate yourself to a more useful cause like volunteering or something..or just go to the library/computer room/park etc etc.

Reply 13

Sunofnight

3

tehjonny

Good luck living life if you can't deal with people.

No-one else seems to have the balls to tell it to you straight, so I guess it'll be me. It is a cop-out. You cop-out of this, you will cop-out of the next thing that is a bit difficult, and again, and again. Then you won't just feel like a failure, you will be one.

So pull your ****ing socks up and face up to what we call LIFE.

Its not that we don't have the balls to tell it 'straight' most don't see the situation like you, thick *******.

Reply 14

Dolgeniog

It's not a copout, but quitting college and uni because of 'anxiety' and 'panic' is pathetic. What do you panic about? People? if so, you're going to have to deal with the fact that there are other people in this big wide world besides those you know. Some people would give everything to go to uni, and you go and leave because you bottled it instead of facing up to it.

Reply 15

Dolgeniog

tehjonny

Good luck living life if you can't deal with people.

No-one else seems to have the balls to tell it to you straight, so I guess it'll be me. It is a cop-out. You cop-out of this, you will cop-out of the next thing that is a bit difficult, and again, and again. Then you won't just feel like a failure, you will be one.

So pull your ****ing socks up and face up to what we call LIFE.

Agree with this 100%. I respect you for saying it how it is. Too many people on here beat about the bush trying not to offend.

Reply 16

goodLife

OP

wendizzle22

Well..what do you enjoy doing? If you participate in the things you like then the confidence you gain from that will transpire to other areas of life. You don't have to go to the pub every day if you don't want to! You could dedicate yourself to a more useful cause like volunteering or something..or just go to the library/computer room/park etc etc.

Yea I did but most of my friends went to the pub which is cool, I suppose the reason I found it boring was cause I was living at home so I suppose its a lot different.

Reply 17

goodLife

OP

Dolgeniog

It's not a copout, but quitting college and uni because of 'anxiety' and 'panic' is pathetic. What do you panic about? People? if so, you're going to have to deal with the fact that there are other people in this big wide world besides those you know. Some people would give everything to go to uni, and you go and leave because you bottled it instead of facing up to it.

Well I just couldn't keep it up however pathetic it is, I respect the honest replies though and if all the other 'nicer' replies think the same then please say so I just want the truth and what people really think. I don't panic about people or anything it just comes on and off all the time in the class room when its bad I just keep thinking im going to pass out or die of heart attack or something. Im just strange

Reply 18

Ywiss

15

I can't believe the insensitivity of some people on this thread. Panic and anxiety are psychological disorders; it's a mental illness - it's not something you "choose" to have, you dumb idiots. How dare you call it a cop-out? Do you think the OP, and the others who've said they suffer from anxiety, like having their disorder? Do you think if they could, they wouldn't choose not to have it? If so, you're a load of dumb arses. That sort of attitude makes things worse for them, because they think that everyone's going to have the same attitude as you. You're ruining people's health; does that make you happy?

OP, nothing is worth more than your health and well-being, remember that. That's your primary concern. Do the Open University course if you'd feel more comfortable doing that; university's not going to be your only opportunity to meet people and get out there. You could do a small part-time job, or just go out once a week to the gym or something, so that you can get back in a routine slowly while still having the support of your own family and your own home. Moving to uni is a terrifying thing, and it's even worse when you have anxiety and panic disorder - make sure you feel absolutely sure that you're ready before you take that step.

Good luck :smile:

If you want to talk, please feel free to PM me.

Reply 19

tehjonny

8

Riddy

Dude I have panic attacks and have dropped out of uni and have just started crying reading that, I can't handle life and panic at random times. No rest for the weak.

Mate, I'm sorry but it is the truth.

When I was 16/17 I spent all my time in a blackened room smoking weed watching daytime television. I got sectioned for a couple of months yadda yadda yadda.

Dwelling on problems doesn't solve them. Getting on with life and saying 'no, this will not be how it will go down' does.

Perhaps it would be best for the OP to do open uni, I don't know them or their exact circumstances. It just seems to me that this could be the start of a spiral. Sure it would be easier to do OU. Easy doesn't mean best.

Is this a cop out?

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