Me and my older sister have a really strong bond but haven't always. She is 5 years older than me and is single with 2 children after dropping out of school and is currently unemployed. I would never think any less of her for any of these things, she's a wonderful person, but I think sometimes that she resents me for doing things that she hasn't done. I have recently left sixth form with good grades and started attending a good university. She is so proud of me but there is also that underlining thing that I keep seeing which I think might be sibling jealousy? When we were growing up, she rebelled quite drastically and our mother who was a single parent was constantly having to give all her attention to worrying about my sister. I don't resent her at all for this, I know she went through a tough time but what does upset me is that she will never see anything from my point of view. She has referred to me as the 'perfect daughter' and the 'favourite' on occasions and gets really angry at my mum when she's doing something for me and she needs help as she says my mum always drops everything for me, when actually she has always spent much more time helping my sister. I've been severely suffering with mental health issues recently due to other personal circumstances but, although she has been supportive, it always seems as if she thinks her problems are worse than mine in some way, that nobody cares about her but everyone cares about me. Although like I said, everyone has always been so focused on helping her that I do tend to just deal with things independently. I just really don't know what to do to stop her from feeling this way. As much as I really want to be supportive and do what I can for her, sometimes it really upsets me that I have to always be the one to make her feel better about herself when sometimes I just need a little help myself. I don't want to have to feel bad about my achievements or feel like I can't ask for help when I have problems. She seems to feel threatened by me and can feel uncomfortable when I'm around and something is positive for me. I love my sister so much but I just don't know how this can be resolved, I don't want to approach it with her and sound condescending or like I think I'm better than she is because I completely understand that it must be hard for her and don't think that way at all. What can I do?
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Sibling Jealousy watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-02-2016 19:05
- 24-02-2016 20:07
I'm not really sure but perhaps instead of physically trying to help just be like a best friend and such if u get what I mean
hope it helpedLast edited by alaska green; 24-02-2016 at 20:10.
- 24-02-2016 20:10
It seems obvious but the best thing you can do is talk to her, not in an accusing way but it's best for you to both get your feelings out in the open so you knew what you're working with before you try to deal with it