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caught feelings for a friend - how do I stop this? Watch

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    #1

    I've known him for a few months and wasn't in any way attracted to him at the time.

    Then I got to know him and we sometimes spend hours just talking and it doesn't feel that long. We get on so well and he seems to 'get me', he is so kind but honest too -he isn't afraid to call me out on stuff which is amazing. I feel so happy when I see him. I'm not sure if I definitely like-like him as when I'm with him it's so easy to talk but afterwards it's when I feel this way not when I'm with him. It's difficult to explain but basically I don't get crushes on people very easily so I am not even sure what *this* is.

    He's given no sign of feeling the same, I know he likes girls who are straightforward and I'm not as I've been through a lot.

    Telling him is out of question as it would become so messy and we have mutual friends. As lovely as he is I can't trust that he won't tell anyone else as I simply haven't known him for that long so I guess what I'm asking is:

    how do I stop feeling this way without telling him?
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    You can't really stop the feelings unless you do one of the 2 things:
    1) Cut all contact with him and distance yourself from him until you get over it
    2) Tell him so you can accept the rejection and continue with your friendship

    It seems you are still in the early stages of friendship so I suggest telling him and saying something like "I know you probably don't feel the same way but I just wanted to get it out there so I could kind of get over it you know?". It will make everything a WHOLE lot easier and less messy in the long run. Or else all you are doing is setting yourself up for heartbreak because 70% of the time, all that will happen is your feelings get stronger and it will get much much harder and complicated.

    I know this isn't what you want to hear but it really is the best option.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    You can't really stop the feelings unless you do one of the 2 things:
    1) Cut all contact with him and distance yourself from him until you get over it
    2) Tell him so you can accept the rejection and continue with your friendship

    It seems you are still in the early stages of friendship so I suggest telling him and saying something like "I know you probably don't feel the same way but I just wanted to get it out there so I could kind of get over it you know?". It will make everything a WHOLE lot easier and less messy in the long run. Or else all you are doing is setting yourself up for heartbreak because 70% of the time, all that will happen is your feelings get stronger and it will get much much harder and complicated.

    I know this isn't what you want to hear but it really is the best option.
    I second this. Once you have feelings there is nooooo going back, if you are gonna be friends i would clear the air or else the only person who will have to live with the dark cloud above their head is you.. good luck i hope it all works out for you!!
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    How does one stop emotions??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've known him for a few months and wasn't in any way attracted to him at the time.

    Then I got to know him and we sometimes spend hours just talking and it doesn't feel that long. We get on so well and he seems to 'get me', he is so kind but honest too -he isn't afraid to call me out on stuff which is amazing. I feel so happy when I see him. I'm not sure if I definitely like-like him as when I'm with him it's so easy to talk but afterwards it's when I feel this way not when I'm with him. It's difficult to explain but basically I don't get crushes on people very easily so I am not even sure what *this* is.

    He's given no sign of feeling the same, I know he likes girls who are straightforward and I'm not as I've been through a lot.

    Telling him is out of question as it would become so messy and we have mutual friends. As lovely as he is I can't trust that he won't tell anyone else as I simply haven't known him for that long so I guess what I'm asking is:

    how do I stop feeling this way without telling him?
    Drastic measures aren't needed. Crushes pass easily, if you've other interests and people to occupy your time.
 
 
 
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