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    So recently I've fallen into FWB with a guy who's been a close friend for several years. We've always just been good friends and kept meeting up pretty regularly, but about a month ago we went out for drinks and ended up making out. We've since been sleeping together on a regular basis.

    And, as I suppose always seems to happen in these situations, I feel like I'm falling for him. I can't tell if he feels the same way and when I've probed the point very recently he gives very mixed messages. On the up-side, he'll say really sweet things, complement me, he's come round and cooked food for me and friendship's turned to regular flirting. When we're hanging out together we'll hold hands and generally act close.

    The other day (with a bit of dutch courage) I asked him outright where he thought this was going - perhaps a bit forward, but I just wanted it to be straight - and he answered that he 'doesn't know'. He says that he's just enjoying it being chilled out, that he's not thinking too far into the future, that he's pretty stressed out at the moment with stuff going off in his life (this is true) and he's liking stuff just the way it is. He's said he sees me as 'a bit more than a friend' now.

    I don't know if this is truly how he feels, or if this is just a polite way of saying 'no' without hurting my feelings and risking losing the friendship. I feel now I've asked the question I really can't ask it again, but already I'm feeling sad about the situation and I don't really want to carry it on if the fun turns into feeling hurt.

    I really just wanted some anonymous opinions or people's general thoughts. Thanks!
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    you should report him if he is claiming any kind of benefit he is not entitled to....
    Haven't you seen the ad in the bus-stops?
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    (Original post by TeeEm)
    you should report me if he is claiming any kind of benefit he is not entitled to....
    Haven't you seen the ad in the bus-stops?
    Hahaha... I'll give it to you, that made me lol...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So recently I've fallen into FWB with a guy who's been a close friend for several years. We've always just been good friends and kept meeting up pretty regularly, but about a month ago we went out for drinks and ended up making out. We've since been sleeping together on a regular basis.

    And, as I suppose always seems to happen in these situations, I feel like I'm falling for him. I can't tell if he feels the same way and when I've probed the point very recently he gives very mixed messages. On the up-side, he'll say really sweet things, complement me, he's come round and cooked food for me and friendship's turned to regular flirting. When we're hanging out together we'll hold hands and generally act close.

    The other day (with a bit of dutch courage) I asked him outright where he thought this was going - perhaps a bit forward, but I just wanted it to be straight - and he answered that he 'doesn't know'. He says that he's just enjoying it being chilled out, that he's not thinking too far into the future, that he's pretty stressed out at the moment with stuff going off in his life (this is true) and he's liking stuff just the way it is. He's said he sees me as 'a bit more than a friend' now.

    I don't know if this is truly how he feels, or if this is just a polite way of saying 'no' without hurting my feelings and risking losing the friendship. I feel now I've asked the question I really can't ask it again, but already I'm feeling sad about the situation and I don't really want to carry it on if the fun turns into feeling hurt.

    I really just wanted some anonymous opinions or people's general thoughts. Thanks!
    FWB relationships are ridiculously tricky, especially if you can't do it without getting emotionally attached. Trust me on this. From personal experience, I think they're not the best. Of course, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

    I'd give it a bit of time and maybe have the conversation again, when he's in a better place. Ask him literally everything you want/need to. You can't do these things without being open and honest with each other.

    Hope it all works out for the best x
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    #2

    If I had to call it, it sounds like he is emotionally unavailable to me. From my experience, men don't generally give out mixed messages to someone they like. I've been in a FWB situation, where I did the same as you in asking outright and got given the answer: 'I like it where it is at the moment/I am not ready for a relationship right now'. It was a very coupley FWB (holding hands, dinner, regular contact) but nonetheless, it was casual. I know it's so easy to say and difficult to do, but you would be so right to stop it now if there is a risk you'll be upset later on. Most likely, if the guy likes you, he'll come running back.

    Hope that helps and you feel better soon.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So recently I've fallen into FWB with a guy who's been a close friend for several years. We've always just been good friends and kept meeting up pretty regularly, but about a month ago we went out for drinks and ended up making out. We've since been sleeping together on a regular basis.

    And, as I suppose always seems to happen in these situations, I feel like I'm falling for him. I can't tell if he feels the same way and when I've probed the point very recently he gives very mixed messages. On the up-side, he'll say really sweet things, complement me, he's come round and cooked food for me and friendship's turned to regular flirting. When we're hanging out together we'll hold hands and generally act close.

    The other day (with a bit of dutch courage) I asked him outright where he thought this was going - perhaps a bit forward, but I just wanted it to be straight - and he answered that he 'doesn't know'. He says that he's just enjoying it being chilled out, that he's not thinking too far into the future, that he's pretty stressed out at the moment with stuff going off in his life (this is true) and he's liking stuff just the way it is. He's said he sees me as 'a bit more than a friend' now.

    I don't know if this is truly how he feels, or if this is just a polite way of saying 'no' without hurting my feelings and risking losing the friendship. I feel now I've asked the question I really can't ask it again, but already I'm feeling sad about the situation and I don't really want to carry it on if the fun turns into feeling hurt.

    I really just wanted some anonymous opinions or people's general thoughts. Thanks!
    I have been in the same situation and ill be honest i felt like a big pile of shite because i just knew i was stuck in a middle phase, he wouldnt want to be more than FWB but we cant go back to being friends.. luckily for me i wasnt the only one who caught the bug and were actually together now and have been for ages. FWB will either be the start of something amazing or completely crush you :/ i agree with the other comment above (sorry didnt look at name) you should wait until hes in a better place and then try to have the conversation again, if he still seems reluctant i would get out early because the only person that will be suffering is you, and i know you dont want to hurt you! Good luck, all the best, I hope hes your lobster
 
 
 
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