My boyfriend and I broke up recently. This is how we broke up.
He was coming to my city and we were supposed to go ice skating and then watch Deadpool. On the day, I found out that the rink had closed down (despite the webpage with all the prices still being up), so I looked for another rink a bit further away. He refused to go to that rink because the uber was 'too expensive'. I offered to pay for the uber and he said 'No, we'll just watch go to the cinema and then do something else afterwards'.
This was like an hour or so before we were due to meet. We met up and things were going pretty well until he started complaining. He'd say things like 'You're such a rubbish planner' and 'I took a whole day out of revision' and 'Today was an okay day'. I got a bit annoyed/upset so I just stayed quiet as I walked him to the train station early.
When we both got home, we argued about it. I told him that I didn't think I had done anything wrong, because I tried to find an alternative for the ice skating but he rejected it, even though I offered to pay. He kept saying that I should have tried harder to plan something else after he rejected the other ice skating rink. I tried to tell him that I didn't because 1) I don't go out that much so I don't have a list of things to do in my city ready in my head, and 2) I didn't have the time to research more places in the morning (I was literally trying to find out how to get to the other skating rink while taking a bath). His response to that was 'you're always making excuses'. Which I'm not.
He then started ranting about 'You never plan anything, I always plan everything, You did no planning for today. I thought of the cinema and the ice skating idea.' It's true, he does most of the planning, but if he had just told me that he'd appreciate me planning more dates, I would have agreed and tried to change that. But he didn't say that, instead he decided to be a ****. Still, I said that I'd plan more dates if that would make him happy.
I still didn't think I was in the wrong for not planning an alternative to the alternative ice skating rink. He said he was 'amazed' that I didn't think I was wrong.
Anyway, we argued about it for a bit, and then he started sending a long monologue about how he can't take this relationship anymore (with even more personal attacks), and we broke up.
Was I actually in the wrong? I'm willing to accept it if I am. The relationship is over and I don't have any desire to get back together with him, but it would be good to know for future reference.
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Who was in the wrong? watch
- Thread Starter
- 25-02-2016 01:13
- 25-02-2016 01:15
He's a ****. Be glad he is gone.
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- 25-02-2016 01:20
Obviously i know nothing from his side of the story so take this with a pinch of salt but he sounds like an ******** who shows signs of mental abuse (which is as real as physical). Hes controlling and is trying to make you feel small (probably to make himself feel big) im glad you got out of the situation with no more damage. Good luck in the future.
- 25-02-2016 01:27
He is totally in the wrong.
As you mentioned yourself, there was no mention of the planned ice-skating ring being closed. Furthermore, this was an hour before you were supposed to meet, which means that, if you're planning to get ready for a date, you had very little time to plan anything else. But you even did that, and you offered to pay. Instead of being grateful that you put in the effort to find an alternative, and pay for it on top of everything, he tried to chastise you and accuse you for doing what you did.
You went to see a movie, you could have taken a nice walk and he could have been grateful how considerate and diligent you were to plan your date, he kept complaining instead of enjoy the nice evening with you. But if that wasn't enough, he kept on doing in after, and kept going on and on over a simple little misunderstanding.
Honestly, feel glad you got rid of him. He seems overly accusative and complaining, not to mention pushy and plain-out rude. People have flaws, yes, but this is different. This is just trying to hurt someone - your significant other who obviously put in a lot of effort into it.
- 25-02-2016 07:41
He was being horrible about it. You had agreed to go ice skating and to see deadpool and so you gave him a plan to do those things. Why would you have found an alternative to the ice skating rink when that was what you'd planned to do? No reason to assume he'd suddenly refuse to go. If he genuinely felt you don't put effort into your dates then he could have talked to you calmly about it and given you a chance to change.
- 25-02-2016 09:26
Ask him to check that he has testicles and for him to take charge and not be a *****
- 25-02-2016 09:30
Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to end it with you.
I'm guessing things weren't all wine and roses beforehand.
- Thread Starter
- 25-02-2016 13:55
He was so adamant that I was wrong that I thought I was going mad