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My girlfriend lied to me twice now, what shall I do? watch

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    Obviously you don't want to leave her so I'd suggest just trusting her. Tell her that you trust that it won't lead to anything. I think that's your best bet. The tighter you hold on, less you trust her and more possessive you are the more likely she is to want to leave. IMHO, of course.
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    (Original post by Summertime99)
    Obviously you don't want to leave her so I'd suggest just trusting her. Tell her that you trust that it won't lead to anything. I think that's your best bet. The tighter you hold on, less you trust her and more possessive you are the more likely she is to want to leave. IMHO, of course.
    Its hard though. It eats away at me all the time. I am so scared as I have been cheated on before.
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    talk to her , be like girl what you doing, i dont understand why you would lie to me etc. dont leave her if you still like her but i think just for your mental health it will be better to. i just find it weird how shes going out to go do stuff with her ex
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    Why don't you start inviting her guy friends out when you two g o out? Then you might become less jealous and trust her more when you see there is nothing going on? She might then be more willing to tell you the truth if she finds you more accepting
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    The replies here are so funny, if this was a girl posting about her boyfriend everyone would be all "Leave him he's no good if he lies to you even once!"

    Personally OP, I think if you're being lied to by somebody you love then they don't love you the same back? It sounds harsh but would you lie to her? Think about it, can you really trust that she won't lie again, I wouldn't want to be with a liar
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    Do you think she is lying to you because you are too possessive? like if she genuinely was going out with friends that were guys, would you erupt? if so, maybe that's why she is lying to you, to avoid the drama. I'm not saying its right, but if every time she mentions a friend or says she's going out and you get moody or quiz her, it's something you need to work on
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    (Original post by gertautas)
    talk to her , be like girl what you doing, i dont understand why you would lie to me etc. dont leave her if you still like her but i think just for your mental health it will be better to. i just find it weird how shes going out to go do stuff with her ex
    I find it weird too. If I ask her it will just cause an arguement. Ugh im losing it. Not going to english as i have a presentation.

    (Original post by Griffin0007)
    Why don't you start inviting her guy friends out when you two g o out? Then you might become less jealous and trust her more when you see there is nothing going on? She might then be more willing to tell you the truth if she finds you more accepting
    I guess but I simply dont think she would because she will be too worried im get anxious and stuff.
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    (Original post by harinimnida)
    The replies here are so funny, if this was a girl posting about her boyfriend everyone would be all "Leave him he's no good if he lies to you even once!"

    Personally OP, I think if you're being lied to by somebody you love then they don't love you the same back? It sounds harsh but would you lie to her? Think about it, can you really trust that she won't lie again, I wouldn't want to be with a liar
    I do know what you mean, I feel like I need her more than she needs me sometimes.

    (Original post by Darien91)
    Do you think she is lying to you because you are too possessive? like if she genuinely was going out with friends that were guys, would you erupt? if so, maybe that's why she is lying to you, to avoid the drama. I'm not saying its right, but if every time she mentions a friend or says she's going out and you get moody or quiz her, it's something you need to work on
    I am like it but come on she has to know where im coming from. Girl goes out with a dude to a pub which they could get drunk and do stuff.. its so hard to trust her.
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    (Original post by Darien91)
    Do you think she is lying to you because you are too possessive? like if she genuinely was going out with friends that were guys, would you erupt? if so, maybe that's why she is lying to you, to avoid the drama. I'm not saying its right, but if every time she mentions a friend or says she's going out and you get moody or quiz her, it's something you need to work on
    i agree. OP she may be lying to you bc she knows/think you will kick off if shes with guys. she might think its just easier to avoid the drama. you need to talk to her. As for talking to her ex, i dont think thats right while in a relationship. as i said talk to her
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    (Original post by rizmah)
    I am like it but come on she has to know where im coming from. Girl goes out with a dude to a pub which they could get drunk and do stuff.. its so hard to trust her.
    I get you bro, does she you've been cheated on?
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    It is of course entirely up to you - it's your life. But. Either she's cheating on you or she isn't. If you don't ask her about it, you won't find out. If don't ask her about it then either - she's cheating on you and eventually you'll find out and will have wasted time and energy worrying about it when you could have been getting over it, moving on, OR she will get used to not being open and honest with you, while you continue to be upset that she's lying to you. Neither of these things are good for any long term relationship.
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    (Original post by Griffin0007)
    Why don't you start inviting her guy friends out when you two g o out? Then you might become less jealous and trust her more when you see there is nothing going on? She might then be more willing to tell you the truth if she finds you more accepting
    This.

    Also you can't limit who she's friends with. It will lead to her keeping secrets from you. Only thing you can do is work on your trust if you want her to be more honest with you. I know you are worried about getting cheated on, but trying to limit her will only make it worse because she'll get sick of it eventually.
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    OP, it seems that you are both in the wrong and therefore have 2 options..

    1) Deception is indicative of a lack of honor, if she's lying to you how about this she may be lying to you about a number of things. You must be firm and direct and inform her that she will inform you honestly or you will dump her on the basis that the future mother of your children (the assumed end goal of your relationship) will not teach your genetic heirs deception.

    2) Your insecure and that is a sign of weakness. To be frank, you need to man up, accept the fact that she's friends with other men and accept this. You also need to focus on the good things about yourself and remember that she is with you and not another male. Remember that you are a superior mate and think of the reasons why (funny, smart ect..).
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    (Original post by mkap)
    i agree. OP she may be lying to you bc she knows/think you will kick off if shes with guys. she might think its just easier to avoid the drama. you need to talk to her. As for talking to her ex, i dont think thats right while in a relationship. as i said talk to her
    I do feel like she is a tad. Everytime i talk to heri just feel like shes going to tell a lie again.

    (Original post by Darien91)
    I get you bro, does she you've been cheated on?
    Yeah she knows exactly my history

    (Original post by cheshiremum)
    It is of course entirely up to you - it's your life. But. Either she's cheating on you or she isn't. If you don't ask her about it, you won't find out. If don't ask her about it then either - she's cheating on you and eventually you'll find out and will have wasted time and energy worrying about it when you could have been getting over it, moving on, OR she will get used to not being open and honest with you, while you continue to be upset that she's lying to you. Neither of these things are good for any long term relationship.
    I will on weekend when I see her
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    If i really think about it , it really sounds to me like shes trying to get something going again because i don't know many people that would go out with their ex's again as there was a reason why you left them - i know you said you don't want to speak to her but i think you should , what sort of a relationship is it that you don't feel like you could speak to her - i understand that you like her i was like this and i've just come out a 4 year relationship 3 weeks ago , i know how you feel but you need to do whats best for you and in which my case i had to leave her even though i loved her dearly and still do , you will hurt for a little but time will help , seriously either talk or smash and dash.
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    (Original post by Nadile)
    This.

    Also you can't limit who she's friends with. It will lead to her keeping secrets from you. Only thing you can do is work on your trust if you want her to be more honest with you. I know you are worried about getting cheated on, but trying to limit her will only make it worse because she'll get sick of it eventually.
    True but one of her ex's?

    (Original post by Rakas21)
    OP, it seems that you are both in the wrong and therefore have 2 options..

    1) Deception is indicative of a lack of honor, if she's lying to you how about this she may be lying to you about a number of things. You must be firm and direct and inform her that she will inform you honestly or you will dump her on the basis that the future mother of your children (the assumed end goal of your relationship) will not teach your genetic heirs deception.

    2) Your insecure and that is a sign of weakness. To be frank, you need to man up, accept the fact that she's friends with other men and accept this. You also need to focus on the good things about yourself and remember that she is with you and not another male. Remember that you are a superior mate and think of the reasons why (funny, smart ect..).
    Number 2 fits well. I will have to man up and take it. If she doesnt and purely wants to be a friend then great. If not, well, thats over a year wasted.
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    (Original post by gertautas)
    If i really think about it , it really sounds to me like shes trying to get something going again because i don't know many people that would go out with their ex's again as there was a reason why you left them - i know you said you don't want to speak to her but i think you should , what sort of a relationship is it that you don't feel like you could speak to her - i understand that you like her i was like this and i've just come out a 4 year relationship 3 weeks ago , i know how you feel but you need to do whats best for you and in which my case i had to leave her even though i loved her dearly and still do , you will hurt for a little but time will help , seriously either talk or smash and dash.
    How do you cope? Sometimes I just want to drown my sorrows in alcohol and i know that isnt the right thing to do. How do you keep your mind occupied?
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    (Original post by rizmah)
    How do you cope? Sometimes I just want to drown my sorrows in alcohol and i know that isnt the right thing to do. How do you keep your mind occupied?
    I just don't think about her as hard as that may sound but that's it , i wouldn't drink alcohol as it will make you more emotional and it wont be good for you , to keep my mind off things i've also started going to the gym and started to keep myself happy and also just go out with mates to clubs etc. ask me anything else mate im here to talk!
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    (Original post by gertautas)
    I just don't think about her as hard as that may sound but that's it , i wouldn't drink alcohol as it will make you more emotional and it wont be good for you , to keep my mind off things i've also started going to the gym and started to keep myself happy and also just go out with mates to clubs etc. ask me anything else mate im here to talk!
    I try man. Going to the gym is too expensive for me. How old are you may I ask?
 
 
 
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