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The more time I spend with her, the more I like her watch

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    I met a girl at uni a few weeks ago and we instantly became friends. We hang out a lot at uni and out of uni. I started developing a little crush on her and every time we spend time together, those feelings get stronger. Now we're really close friends, so I'm stuck in this position where I like her and I'm good friends with her.

    Here's the issue. She's currently on a break with her boyfriend so I can't really make any advancements towards her. Plus she has shown no signs of interest that she's into me. I know that I'm just a friend to her.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell her because I know that will end the friendship as it has in the past with other girls. I can control my feelings though, but every time I try to limit how often I message her, she always messages me eventually.

    I do want to be friends with her, i think it's more important than attempting to get into a relationship that will never exist. Can anyone give me tips on how I can drop feelings for her and remain friends?
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    I think you should just have an honest open in person conversation. Its the only safe and sensible option. You tell her that you are catching feelings for her and that you understand that she most likely doesn't feel the same way especially since she's on a break with her boyfriend and that you just wanted to get it out there and be honest so that you could accept the rejection and move on and continue the friendship without any awkwardness It wont mess anything up unless you
    a) JUST pour your feelings out (leaving her with no option but to reject) or b) You forget to mention that you want to continue the friendship

    Its all about being honest and open. If you say all the things that I mentioned above then all she can really do is a) Say she does have feelings for you and that she wants to try (although unlikely you never know) or b) say "okay I'm glad you understand that I dont feel the same way and I'm glad we can remain friends".

    Then you can accept the rejection more promptly and move on (which you should have done when the crush first started). However this doesnt always work and you may have to end up just cutting contact if you are still having feelings towards her a couple weeks/months after this confession.
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    (Original post by bluemadhatter)
    I think you should just have an honest open in person conversation. Its the only safe and sensible option. You tell her that you are catching feelings for her and that you understand that she most likely doesn't feel the same way especially since she's on a break with her boyfriend and that you just wanted to get it out there and be honest so that you could accept the rejection and move on and continue the friendship without any awkwardness It wont mess anything up unless you
    a) JUST pour your feelings out (leaving her with no option but to reject) or b) You forget to mention that you want to continue the friendship

    Its all about being honest and open. If you say all the things that I mentioned above then all she can really do is a) Say she does have feelings for you and that she wants to try (although unlikely you never know) or b) say "okay I'm glad you understand that I dont feel the same way and I'm glad we can remain friends".

    Then you can accept the rejection more promptly and move on (which you should have done when the crush first started). However this doesnt always work and you may have to end up just cutting contact if you are still having feelings towards her a couple weeks/months after this confession.
    I have had a bad experience in the past where I did what you said and the girl completely backed off and the friendship was lost. The scenario was similar to now except the girl didn't have a boyfriend and I confessed my feelings, I was very close with that girl too and people thought we were dating.

    It feels like it's gonna happen all over again. I can't lose my friends like this because I don't have many close friends as it is. There must be another way out....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have had a bad experience in the past where I did what you said and the girl completely backed off and the friendship was lost. The scenario was similar to now except the girl didn't have a boyfriend and I confessed my feelings, I was very close with that girl too and people thought we were dating.

    It feels like it's gonna happen all over again. I can't lose my friends like this because I don't have many close friends as it is. There must be another way out....
    If the girl is backing off for such a MINOR issue like that with you giving her a chance to say "yeah I know you dont like me but I just wanted to tell you so I could get over it", then is she REALLY your friend??

    If someone is actually your close friend then they would not back away or leave you just because you decided to be a little honest and open in order for you to continue the friendship. And if they are maybe its best that they are not your friend cause that's a childish way to respond.
 
 
 
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