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    i'm in a long distance relationship with someone, she is a great person apart from whenever i am busy and unable to talk for a few days due to coursework in a way she makes me feel really guilty about it but i can't let anything with college slip or else i could get kicked off the course, and therefore wouldn't be able to pursue my dreams.
    I'm going through depression and anxiety at the moment and she's going through a lot as well and that doesn't help it either.

    Any advice?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'm in a long distance relationship with someone, she is a great person apart from whenever i am busy and unable to talk for a few days due to coursework in a way she makes me feel really guilty about it but i can't let anything with college slip or else i could get kicked off the course, and therefore wouldn't be able to pursue my dreams.
    I'm going through depression and anxiety at the moment and she's going through a lot as well and that doesn't help it either.

    Any advice?
    I had one a few years ago, and it was EXACTLY the same ! But that was my fault haha I'm kinda possesive and need attention, I think she's like that too. It was going bad between us until we quietly talked about it, and after that it was okay, both of us made some efforts ^^
    You should definitely talk to her, she has to understand that you have some work to do and that's important. I think after a clear conversation she'll understand ( I did, and I' m ****ing stubborn so everything's possible :lol: )
    Try to be calm, not too direct, and make sure she wont be angry (if she turns angry just stop everything and talk about it later , or it wont work ^^)
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    OP here
    probably just my anxiety getting to me, but it seems like nothing i do helps, she says that her life falls apart but when im there for her she seems to dissregard it
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    If you literally dont talk to her at all for a few days, then i can see why she's annoyed, it doesnt matter how busy you are, there is time to send one text saying you're busy. And the thing is, in an LDR communication is critical. They often break down because you dont talk to each other enough, and if you were living near each other you'd probably see them everyday. My boyfriend and i have been in an LDR for about 8 months now and although we dont text much during the day due to work we text a lot in the evening and often Skype. I know i would find it hard if he regularly only had time to talk to me like twice a week. That's hardly a relationship to be honest...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP here
    probably just my anxiety getting to me, but it seems like nothing i do helps, she says that her life falls apart but when im there for her she seems to dissregard it
    When she says her life falls appart, it's because of you ?
    I think she just needs a lot of attention. You said you can't talk to her during a few days sometimes right ? Maybe you could just sent her some cute things that'll make her happy, she'll see you think about her anyway ? I'm not trying to say you should talk to her everyday , apparently you can't, but maybe one or two textmessages or something
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'm in a long distance relationship with someone, she is a great person apart from whenever i am busy and unable to talk for a few days due to coursework in a way she makes me feel really guilty about it but i can't let anything with college slip or else i could get kicked off the course, and therefore wouldn't be able to pursue my dreams.
    I'm going through depression and anxiety at the moment and she's going through a lot as well and that doesn't help it either.

    Any advice?
    Sometimes a text or two a day asking how are you makes a difference
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    you've all said a text or two a day would make the difference but when i say im busy she normally spams me and it is really frustrating. it seems like she guilt's me into talking to her and when i do talk to her it seems like i cant say whats wrong with me due to her making it seem like it's my fault for being it, i get frustrated when she does that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you've all said a text or two a day would make the difference but when i say im busy she normally spams me and it is really frustrating. it seems like she guilt's me into talking to her and when i do talk to her it seems like i cant say whats wrong with me due to her making it seem like it's my fault for being it, i get frustrated when she does that
    I see :/ so she does not understand that you're REALLY busy .. Maybe you could etablish some kind of "time" for her everyday ? I mean, say her that you can talk between 8 and 9pm (whatever, you understand what I want to say ^^) and out of this you just send a few messages to let her know you think about her
    Did you ever tried do to such a thing ?
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    I see :/ so she does not understand that you're REALLY busy .. Maybe you could etablish some kind of "time" for her everyday ? I mean, say her that you can talk between 8 and 9pm (whatever, you understand what I want to say ^^) and out of this you just send a few messages to let her know you think about her
    Did you ever tried do to such a thing ?
    yes i have and it doesn't seem to work as both our lives are very hectic
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes i have and it doesn't seem to work as both our lives are very hectic
    I see .. Then both of you should have a serious conversation, obviously you can't continue like that, promise her to do some efforts, to send her more messages etc, and she has to promise you that she will send you less messages
    For now I think that's the best you can do
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    I see .. Then both of you should have a serious conversation, obviously you can't continue like that, promise her to do some efforts, to send her more messages etc, and she has to promise you that she will send you less messages
    For now I think that's the best you can do
    its more than just the messages, when i try to express my feelings to her she doesnt listen and ignores them, she says she wants to help but when i try to explain myself she just doesn't seem to care
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you've all said a text or two a day would make the difference but when i say im busy she normally spams me and it is really frustrating. it seems like she guilt's me into talking to her and when i do talk to her it seems like i cant say whats wrong with me due to her making it seem like it's my fault for being it, i get frustrated when she does that
    If she's being persistent and you have something to do, just pop a text like

    "haha, got something to finish off, I'll talk to ya in a couple hours <3"

    Keep it casual and don't sound offended whenever she wants to talk and you're busy...
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    If she's being persistent and you have something to do, just pop a text like

    "haha, got something to finish off, I'll talk to ya in a couple hours <3"

    Keep it casual and don't sound offended whenever she wants to talk and you're busy...
    I agree, that worked for me (after a long time tho :lol: )

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    its more than just the messages, when i try to express my feelings to her she doesnt listen and ignores them, she says she wants to help but when i try to explain myself she just doesn't seem to care
    You seem ready to do some efforts, but apparently she does not :/ did you said her that you feel this way ?
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    I agree, that worked for me (after a long time tho :lol: )



    You seem ready to do some efforts, but apparently she does not :/ did you said her that you feel this way ?
    yes i have and she just doesnt seem to care about it. i cant say anything without her turning it on me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yes i have and she just doesnt seem to care about it. i cant say anything without her turning it on me
    Anw :/ then be pretty clear to her, say you're just tired of all of it, that you want to pursue the relationship but she has to make it easy. Maybe she'll finally change her behavior ?
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    Anw :/ then be pretty clear to her, say you're just tired of all of it, that you want to pursue the relationship but she has to make it easy. Maybe she'll finally change her behavior ?
    you think i havent told her before? i break down over it, you may think "oh man up" but it gets really hard to keep it together
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you think i havent told her before? i break down over it, you may think "oh man up" but it gets really hard to keep it together
    Then Idk what to say :/ keeping a long distance relationship is really hard ><
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    Then Idk what to say :/ keeping a long distance relationship is really hard ><
    yeah especially when im feeling manipulated
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah especially when im feeling manipulated
    You do ??!
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    You do ??!
    yeah so damn much.
 
 
 
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