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Do guys turn out like their Dad's? Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hey

    I've been with a guy for quite a few months now but we were really good friends for many years before being in a relationship so things on the whole are going really well

    However, I'm worried we aren't as similar as I once thought we might be and I'm not sure whether that's his true colours showing or me focusing on the wrong things?

    For example he finds some (what I would class as offensive) humour funny and can be deliberately awkward and condescending to other people but he's not like this to me. He described how funny he found it when his Dad gave an intern at his work a really hard time and from the things he tells me (not actually met him yet due to time/distance) his Dad sounds like a really mean person :/

    My bf knows and seems happy to openly admit being opinionated and argumentative which are qualities he doesn't often show around me but I guess what I'm worried about is that as we get along so well overall that we'll stay together a while and then as we get older he might become more and more like his Dad?

    I don't know whether I should just not think about it unless he says something mean to me directly? Or am I right to be concerned?
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    Depends on his relationship but there's definitely no guarantee
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    I've been with a guy for quite a few months now but we were really good friends for many years before being in a relationship so things on the whole are going really well

    However, I'm worried we aren't as similar as I once thought we might be and I'm not sure whether that's his true colours showing or me focusing on the wrong things?

    For example he finds some (what I would class as offensive) humour funny and can be deliberately awkward and condescending to other people but he's not like this to me. He described how funny he found it when his Dad gave an intern at his work a really hard time and from the things he tells me (not actually met him yet due to time/distance) his Dad sounds like a really mean person :/

    My bf knows and seems happy to openly admit being opinionated and argumentative which are qualities he doesn't often show around me but I guess what I'm worried about is that as we get along so well overall that we'll stay together a while and then as we get older he might become more and more like his Dad?

    I don't know whether I should just not think about it unless he says something mean to me directly? Or am I right to be concerned?
    Some may do. My dad was a drug taking, abusive alcoholic who died at 48 of liver poisoning. I don't aspire to be any of those things. Depends on the person.
    • #2
    #2

    i hope not!
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    i fukin hope not
    • #1
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Depends on his relationship but there's definitely no guarantee

    Thanks

    See I know they're quite close which is what worries me
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tinemither)
    Some may do. My dad was a drug taking, abusive alcoholic who died at 48 of liver poisoning. I don't aspire to be any of those things. Depends on the person.
    ahh I'm sorry to hear that :/ yeah I reckon I should just see how things go - I'll be starting uni at the end of this year so if we broke up I wouldn't want to get into another relationship before then anyway
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    I actually think the guy is trying to impress you by saying these things because it makes him look macho/masculine. Tell the guy you don't appreciate those attributes in people and guarantee you'll notice a change.

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    No, I haven't. My father has changed over the years too - in a positive way.
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    Study Helper
    When I was 15, I thought my Father was a ****. By the time I reached 22, I was amazed at how much he had progressed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    I lift :dumbells: whereas my dad doesn't.

    I guess you can say "It depends" to your question.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ahh I'm sorry to hear that :/ yeah I reckon I should just see how things go - I'll be starting uni at the end of this year so if we broke up I wouldn't want to get into another relationship before then anyway
    That's understandable. After all, Uni is difficult for dating students because they're all or mostly separated. Where are you looking at going?
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    Like their dad's what?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    I've been with a guy for quite a few months now but we were really good friends for many years before being in a relationship so things on the whole are going really well

    However, I'm worried we aren't as similar as I once thought we might be and I'm not sure whether that's his true colours showing or me focusing on the wrong things?

    For example he finds some (what I would class as offensive) humour funny and can be deliberately awkward and condescending to other people but he's not like this to me. He described how funny he found it when his Dad gave an intern at his work a really hard time and from the things he tells me (not actually met him yet due to time/distance) his Dad sounds like a really mean person :/

    My bf knows and seems happy to openly admit being opinionated and argumentative which are qualities he doesn't often show around me but I guess what I'm worried about is that as we get along so well overall that we'll stay together a while and then as we get older he might become more and more like his Dad?

    I don't know whether I should just not think about it unless he says something mean to me directly? Or am I right to be concerned?
    It really depends and it can go one of two ways. 1. he admires the way his dad acts (whether good or bad) and so aspires to be like him (or will act like him without knowing) 2. he doesnt like the way his dad acts and so does everything in his power to NOT turn out like him.. unless he sees his dads way as wrong its unlikely he will fight against his natural instinct :/ I hope it ends well for you though, good luck
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    My dad and I are quite similar, though we're both aspies so that'll be why.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    I've been with a guy for quite a few months now but we were really good friends for many years before being in a relationship so things on the whole are going really well

    However, I'm worried we aren't as similar as I once thought we might be and I'm not sure whether that's his true colours showing or me focusing on the wrong things?

    For example he finds some (what I would class as offensive) humour funny and can be deliberately awkward and condescending to other people but he's not like this to me. He described how funny he found it when his Dad gave an intern at his work a really hard time and from the things he tells me (not actually met him yet due to time/distance) his Dad sounds like a really mean person :/

    My bf knows and seems happy to openly admit being opinionated and argumentative which are qualities he doesn't often show around me but I guess what I'm worried about is that as we get along so well overall that we'll stay together a while and then as we get older he might become more and more like his Dad?

    I don't know whether I should just not think about it unless he says something mean to me directly? Or am I right to be concerned?
    I find opinionated and argumentative people triggering and problematic. I purged everyone like that around me and feel much safer and less anxious
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    *at thread title*

    Jesus I hope not :afraid:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tinemither)
    That's understandable. After all, Uni is difficult for dating students because they're all or mostly separated. Where are you looking at going?
    yeah :/ my course has a study abroad year so who knows what the future holds haha Essex is my first choice :3
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It really depends and it can go one of two ways. 1. he admires the way his dad acts (whether good or bad) and so aspires to be like him (or will act like him without knowing) 2. he doesnt like the way his dad acts and so does everything in his power to NOT turn out like him.. unless he sees his dads way as wrong its unlikely he will fight against his natural instinct :/ I hope it ends well for you though, good luck
    ah thank you yeahh he seems to find some things his Dad says/does funny when I regard them as rude/stereotypes of gender roles etc ;/ it just worries me because sometimes our relationship reminds me of how my Dad used to treat my Mum and they ended up getting divorced and I hope to only get married once c:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah :/ my course has a study abroad year so who knows what the future holds haha Essex is my first choice :3
    Well, I reckon if this doesn't work out, you'lldind someone else good luck!
 
 
 
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