My boyfriend is very close friends with his first love, i.e. the girl to whom he lost his virginity. She lost her virginity to him too, so they have some sort of special bond. He spent three years with her - none of his other exes have lasted nearly as long, and she's the only one of them that he still really makes an effort to keep in touch with. So, clearly, no one's ever measured up to the standard she set. What am I competing with, here?
I know he sees her as a friend. And that she sees him as a friend. But I am always going to see her as his ex-girlfriend, and well, sort of a threat, if I'm honest. I don't know why I see her as a threat, but I feel uncomfortable that she's still in his life.
Obviously I can't tell him to break off contact, as that would make me a controlling bitch, so I just can't see this getting any better. I love him with all my heart, but thinking about this girl just makes me thoroughly miserable. I've talked about it with him before, but I still feel this way.
It's so frustrating. He makes me so happy, but at the same time, makes me so sad. It's just hard to bear, coping with such a constant rollercoaster of emotions.
I am so stressed out with exams at the moment and not thinking straight, so... some perspective would be great. I just feel lost. Is there a solution for me?