How do I stop giving people lifts when I've been so kind before about it? Watch

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mcgreevy1993
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#1
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This is an odd question, because the obvious answer is no - but when you've been so generous with people giving lifts and people have taken the p*** how do suddenly just stop for everyone?

Today I gave my uncle a lift, I've done this a few times since losing my job. I never get petrol, I have to pay for parking. And today - he locked my keys in the boot. So my break down had to come out - now my door is damaged and the handle has snapped off. Is he paying for the damage? No.

Yesterday my friend asked me to drive her to the cash point and back, which is a five minute walk....she then forgot to lock my door.

Some of my other friends have left me waiting for 30 minutes whilst they got "ready for a night out" oh I didn't get paid for petrol to be designated driver either.

Someone has also broke the vents playing with them. I can't afford to get them fixed so now my car is constantly cold.

As you can see I'm being treated like a prized fool here, and want to cut off lifts from everyone. Friends and family. As I've had enough of no one contributing and my car getting damaged. How do I just tell people I'm not doing it without having to lie or make up excuses? Or explain the fact they keep trashing up and damaging my car!!
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Tinemither
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(Original post by mcgreevy1993)
This is an odd question, because the obvious answer is no - but when you've been so generous with people giving lifts and people have taken the p*** how do suddenly just stop for everyone?

Today I gave my uncle a lift, I've done this a few times since losing my job. I never get petrol, I have to pay for parking. And today - he locked my keys in the boot. So my break down had to come out - now my door is damaged and the handle has snapped off. Is he paying for the damage? No.

Yesterday my friend asked me to drive her to the cash point and back, which is a five minute walk....she then forgot to lock my door.

Some of my other friends have left me waiting for 30 minutes whilst they got "ready for a night out" oh I didn't get paid for petrol to be designated driver either.

Someone has also broke the vents playing with them. I can't afford to get them fixed so now my car is constantly cold.

As you can see I'm being treated like a prized fool here, and want to cut off lifts from everyone. Friends and family. As I've had enough of no one contributing and my car getting damaged. How do I just tell people I'm not doing it without having to lie or make up excuses? Or explain the fact they keep trashing up and damaging my car!!
Put a price on every trip, regardless of how pathetically short. If you want a 5 minute road trip? A pound a mile! Then slowly increase the price. Get yourself either a business going, or make it too expensive then they start dropping like flies.
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JLegion
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Make money from it.

If you don't want to do that, you should blacklist people who break your car, or break your terms and conditions of having a lift (taking too long / breaking things / refusing to pay etc).

Just say you don't have a job and you need to pay for petrol somehow - if they say no then who cares? You save petrol and lose some bad friends.
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Advisor
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The question here shouldn't be how to stop caving in to requests for lifts, but more of how to exercise control over your passengers.

In the case of your uncle, when you arrive at your destination, offer to open and close the boot for him. (How did he get hold of your keys anyway?)

In the case of your lazy friend, a reminder to "kindly lock the door" would pay dividends. Better still, stay warm and cosy by the fire while you remind her that a brisk walk will do her good.

In the case of the passenger who plays with parts of your car, either tell them not to play with things they can't afford to replace, or offer to operate the controls for them, or keep a metal ruler handy to rap them over the knuckles with.

If you are to be the designated driver on a night out, petrol cost for that journey is insignificant compared to the cost of soft drinks in bars/restaurants, so agree with your friends to buy your drinks all night as a compromise. If they don't play ball, just neck an alcoholic drink, then tell them you're taking public transport home. Watch their faces.
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FXX
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#5
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Sorry to say but you're being taken for a mug. People are used to getting lifts off you and clearly don't give a **** about your property. Next time someone asks, just say no. You don't need to make excuses for anyone. Don't even take money, that won't cover the inconvenience of getting things fixed. These people are old enough to get a bus or a taxi, so let them do that.

EDIT: and maybe find some new friends.
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It's****ingWOODY
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Sounds like you just need to put your foot down tbh. If someone damaged any part of my car, I'd ask them to pay, if they refused then they wouldn't be getting in my car again. I also always charge, not just for petrol but if it's a mildly inconvenient time (late at night for example) then also for the effort on my part. So I call it a tenner, that's a fiver for the petrol and another for my time.

You could say that nobody offers you petrol money and you can't really afford to keep topping up your tank on behalf of others because, as they're probably not aware given that they don't drive, petrol isn't cheap.
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CurlyBen
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Try a sticker like this on the glovebox
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mcgreevy1993
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Thanks for all the replies.

I am being taken for a mug, only took me til yesterday to realise when the latest of repairs is costing me £30 - which I can't even avoid, because my handle is falling off!!
I think I'm going to tell people if they give me petrol money, and then make it stupidly expensive or constantly say "I haven't got enough petrol"

I'm also defo getting the sticker above.
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mphysical
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(Original post by mcgreevy1993)
Thanks for all the replies.
................................
I think I'm going to tell people if they give me petrol money, and then make it stupidly expensive or constantly say "I haven't got enough petrol".
Another tactic is to be constantly awkward and late. It may inconvenience you as well for a while but it can be fun.
Where is your car parked? Is it possible to always park it somewhere that takes about 10 minutes to get out.
Quick lifts to the cash machine will then not be as simple.
Or always insist on thoroughly cleaning you windows before you set off.

Always pick your uncle / friends about half an hour late. When they ask why you are late, tell them there was a queue at the petrol station.
Or, whenever you set off giving somebody a lift, always call for petrol, no matter how much of a detour.
Pull in at the station and ask for money.
if you don;t get any drive back home saying you will have to get your card then.

Any time you give a lift, once they are in the car, always do 'an errand' first, such as popping to a friend, shop, relative.
You have to make yourself an nonviable option as a lift.
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Talon
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Start transporting open cans of surströmming in your car*. They will soon stop wanting to get in it.



*car may require mild incineration afterwards.
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PinkAcid
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next time they ask just say: I haven't got enough money for fuel and back it up by reminding them you don't have a job. if they get pissy (which they shouldn't) then tell then youre not their slave and you shouldn't have to spend money taxi'ing them around for free. if they offer you money make sure you get it from them BEFORE you set off, I had a friend who would say she was going to give me petrol money or pay for the car parking if I took her into town and she wouldn't (shed get out of the car like shed totally forgotten) or shed make up an excuse about not having the money in her account when she thought she had loads.

or you could start farting silently whilst pretending nothings wrong and insist on keeping the windows shut because youre cold or keep your car super messy on the passenger side or keep the seat covered in dog hair so they wont want to get in with you
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nancydancer
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Get a smart car. I’ve just figured out why they exist. Explain to anyone who asks ‘Oh, sooooorrrrrry, I’m already giving ( Fred, Sofia, next doors dog, 5 sacks to charity shop ...) even if they decide you’re full of s***, it can only make them think about why you would feel the need to resort to saying such things...........and why . I really don’t think others mean to take advantage , it’s just about sorting out there current dilemmas - at worst they are self absorbed.
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Admit-One
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(Original post by nancydancer)
Get a smart car. I’ve just figured out why they exist. Explain to anyone who asks ‘Oh, sooooorrrrrry, I’m already giving ( Fred, Sofia, next doors dog, 5 sacks to charity shop ...) even if they decide you’re full of s***, it can only make them think about why you would feel the need to resort to saying such things...........and why . I really don’t think others mean to take advantage , it’s just about sorting out there current dilemmas - at worst they are self absorbed.
Thread is 3yrs old, so the OP has probably fallen out with all his free loading friends by now
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