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My boyfriend is funny about me considering studying abroad? watch

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    I've been with my boyfriend now for just over a year but we are very close and in a serious relationship. I've applied to go to uni & will 99% be going. He was already a bit weird with that as he doesn't want me to go anywhere too far away, I know the only reason he doesn't is because he'll miss me but he does get very protective sometimes. I'm always too worried to even mention the excitement of studying abroad and sharing where I could go with him without him getting in a mood with me and saying "let me know if you study abroad so I can break up with you before you go" he says it as a joke but somehow I feel he's serious. I don't understand why he's like that because if he really loves me as much as he says he does surely he would support me through this and believe we could last?
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    There's a good chance you'll cheat on him when you study abroad, that's why.
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    (Original post by RamocitoMorales)
    There's a good chance you'll cheat on him when you study abroad, that's why.
    That's absolute ********.

    OP, he doesn't want you going because he's paranoid about what you'll do when he can't keep an eye on you. This shows a complete lack of trust and a lack of respect- even if he'll miss you he should respect your wish to go to university and study abroad, and if he truly loves you he'll try to make it work.

    If he genuinely wants to break up with you because of where you study then let him, you deserve someone who supports your wishes and tries to help and encourage you every step of the way, even if it's hard for them.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    That's absolute ********.

    OP, he doesn't want you going because he's paranoid about what you'll do when he can't keep an eye on you. This shows a complete lack of trust and a lack of respect- even if he'll miss you he should respect your wish to go to university and study abroad, and if he truly loves you he'll try to make it work.

    If he genuinely wants to break up with you because of where you study then let him, you deserve someone who supports your wishes and tries to help and encourage you every step of the way, even if it's hard for them.
    I dont think it that black and white. Its not just about cheating and lack of trust, people change when they go away. Her going could make the dynamic of their relationship change completely, seeing each other a lot less and her growing up and starting a new chapter of heir life. Some people need that stability in a relationship for it to work, relationships are give and take.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont think it that black and white. Its not just about cheating and lack of trust, people change when they go away. Her going could make the dynamic of their relationship change completely, seeing each other a lot less and her growing up and starting a new chapter of heir life. Some people need that stability in a relationship for it to work, relationships are give and take.
    People change as they grow and have new experiences, that's going to happen whether she studies abroad or not. Of course they're going to see each other less but if they love each other then they can work that out and work around it. As for growing up and starting a new chapter in one's life, a partner should encourage that. If your partner doesn't want you to grow up and try new things then they're incredibly immature and they're holding you back.

    Yes relationships are give and take but the OP shouldn't give up her dreams because her boyfriend doesn't want her to be X amount of miles from him. It's overprotective - she says herself that he's trying to stop her from going to uni at all. You can't believe that's healthy?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend now for just over a year but we are very close and in a serious relationship. I've applied to go to uni & will 99% be going. He was already a bit weird with that as he doesn't want me to go anywhere too far away, I know the only reason he doesn't is because he'll miss me but he does get very protective sometimes. I'm always too worried to even mention the excitement of studying abroad and sharing where I could go with him without him getting in a mood with me and saying "let me know if you study abroad so I can break up with you before you go" he says it as a joke but somehow I feel he's serious. I don't understand why he's like that because if he really loves me as much as he says he does surely he would support me through this and believe we could last?
    As your boyfriend he should support every decision you make (unless its completely crazy of course :giggle:), if hes scared hes going to miss you then the logical solution would be to start saving the pennies now so that when the time comes he has money to come visit you. Long distance isnt the end of the world or the end of the relationship you guys have your whole lives to spend together, a few months wont change that. Talk to him properly one to one and find out what his real worries are and work from there, but he should be nothing but happy for you, anything but is a red flag. Good luck to you both
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend now for just over a year but we are very close and in a serious relationship. I've applied to go to uni & will 99% be going. He was already a bit weird with that as he doesn't want me to go anywhere too far away, I know the only reason he doesn't is because he'll miss me but he does get very protective sometimes. I'm always too worried to even mention the excitement of studying abroad and sharing where I could go with him without him getting in a mood with me and saying "let me know if you study abroad so I can break up with you before you go" he says it as a joke but somehow I feel he's serious. I don't understand why he's like that because if he really loves me as much as he says he does surely he would support me through this and believe we could last?
    I don't think it's just like that. If you lived in completely different countries, how often would you even see each other? And not just how much you intend to see each other, how much you actually do see each other after also taking into account costs and effort and time travelling. How much of a relationship is it then?
    And hate to say it but people do drift apart when they don't see each other and are surrounded by other people every day.

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    Can I ask where you're planning to go abroad for uni?

    Can't understand for the life of me why someone thinks it to be the end whenever their partner goes abroad. I know couples who have stayed together even when one's gone off to Australia or America for a year.
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    Why do people think year abroads are such a big deal?? Terms are still only 8-10weeks.... It's not the end of the world , and certainly not breaking up over unless there's already a weakness in the relationship ...


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    (Original post by mizzsnazzter)
    Why do people think year abroads are such a big deal?? Terms are still only 8-10weeks.... It's not the end of the world , and certainly not breaking up over unless there's already a weakness in the relationship ...


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    Wise words, totally agree!
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    I think it's reasonable for your boyfriend to be upset. My partner is potentially moving abroad for fixed period and it is upsetting to me as if I wasn't able to go (personally I'm up for it if I can find work) then it would be really hard to be so long distance for so long. However I would never be nasty about. At the end of the day my partner (and you) have a right to realise their ambitions and if it's something you want to do then you should do it or you will always regret it. I don't want to hold anyone back and neither should your boyfriend! If he genuinely doesn't think long distance can work that's his call but he should be discussing it with you calmly and then stepping back and letting you make a decision. Do what you think is right. If you don't do this and regret it you will resent your boyfriend.
 
 
 
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