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The (British) Office- a place for fans to come together and quote all day watch

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    So since having the only and only David Brent as my avatar I've attracted the attention of some fellow Office lovers.

    This thread is just to have a place where we can quote all day long as quoting the office is one of the things that makes my life.

    'I'm a friend first, boss second....probably an entertainer third'

    Tagging in the Office lovers.

    Sorry but this is no place for American Office fans or quotes. British office only.

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    My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?"

    Didn't happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!
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    (Original post by JBLondon)
    My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went "Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?"

    Didn't happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!
    To be honest, I think you're mad to let me and you on the this thread! We're like Morecambe and Wise when we get together.

    Not Morecambe and Wise, because there's no straight man, there's no dead wood.

    So, I'm more sort of character based, and you're more of a gag man.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    To be honest, I think you're mad to let me and you on the this thread! We're like Morecambe and Wise when we get together.

    Not Morecambe and Wise, because there's no straight man, there's no dead wood.

    So, I'm more sort of character based, and you're more of a gag man.
    There are limits to our comedy. There are things that we'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go "Ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced". Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not - it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.
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    (Original post by JBLondon)
    There are limits to our comedy. There are things that we'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go "Ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced". Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not - it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.
    I'm just saying there should be tests.
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    I like to think of myself as bit of a Finchy.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I'm just saying there should be tests.
    If Head Office try and come here and interfere, they've got me to contend with, okay? You can go and fiddle with Neil's people, but I'm the head of this family.

    You're not going to fiddle with my children. I am, if anyone does
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    That's the real quiz
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    (Original post by JBLondon)
    If Head Office try and come here and interfere, they've got me to contend with, okay? You can go and fiddle with Neil's people, but I'm the head of this family.

    You're not going to fiddle with my children. I am, if anyone does
    Neil annoys me though yeah, it's his timing and his interference.

    He's going on about some "report" he wants doing but it's red nose day!!

    Imagine Lenny Henry going out the door on comic relief and Dawn French going "you haven't put the rubbish out, you haven't done the washing up"

    DO IT YOURSELF I'VE GOTTA SAVE SOME AFRICANS
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    (Original post by ByronicHero)
    I like to think of myself as bit of a Finchy.
    Chris Finch. bloody good sales rep.

    So you get there, she's aged 19, Ferrari chassis, fantastic set of shelves and legs up to her arse. Muchos tequilas later you're in a cab with her?
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Chris Finch. bloody good sales rep.

    So you get there, she's aged 19, Ferrari chassis, fantastic set of shelves and legs up to her arse. Muchos tequilas later you're in a cab with her?
    Are you coming on to me?

    Because... I can read women. You've got to know their wants and their needs. And that can be anything from making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries each week to making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse.
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    (Original post by ByronicHero)
    Are you coming on to me?

    Because... I can read women. You've got to know their wants and their needs. And that can be anything from making sure she's got enough money to buy groceries each week to making sure she's gratified sexually after intercourse.
    I don't kiss and tell but I will say this....

    Why buy a book.. when you can join the library?
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I don't kiss and tell but I will say this....

    Why buy a book.. when you can join the library?
    Is this why you're around all the time? Keeping tabs on me? I don't need a babysitter, you know, so...
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    (Original post by ByronicHero)
    Is this why you're around all the time? Keeping tabs on me? I don't need a babysitter, you know, so...
    Come out for a drink. Lunchtime. I'll show you who's more of a laugh.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Come out for a drink. Lunchtime. I'll show you who's more of a laugh.
    Condoms come in all different flavours nowadays. There's strawberry and curry and that. Do you like curry?
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    (Original post by ByronicHero)
    Condoms come in all different flavours nowadays. There's strawberry and curry and that. Do you like curry?
    Byronic you don't even have email. Who's printed this out for Byronic? :noway:
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Byronic you don't even have email. Who's printed this out for Byronic? :noway:
    We have access to the internet. But it isn't censored, is that a good or a bad thing?
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    (Original post by ByronicHero)
    We have access to the internet. But it isn't censored, is that a good or a bad thing?
    All I know is you can type in sex fetish on Google. There. two thousand, two hundred and thirty matches. Just click on one, at random. Arghhh- 'Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs'.

    ....Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    All I know is you can type in sex fetish on Google. There. two thousand, two hundred and thirty matches. Just click on one, at random. Arghhh- 'Dutch girls must be punished for having big boobs'.

    ....Now, you don't punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.
    I'm breaking character here to just agree with the enduring truth of that statement
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    Mr Spock is half Vulcan..
 
 
 
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