How do I deal with being a heteroromantic bisexual?

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Anonymous #1
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I've been attracted to both sexes for as long as I can remember. For religious reasons I kept the other side of my sexuality suppressed and wouldn't even think of exploring it but am free to do so now that I have broken free from the religious chains :P. Although I find girls just as sexually attractive as guys, a relationship with a girl does not appeal to me at all and I have only ever been romantically and sexually involved with guys.

The issue is that I don't feel that I can be open about my sexuality because a lot of people view girls like me as being bicurious and just looking to experiment, they probably won't believe that I am what I say even though I'm genuinely attracted to women. I'm not sure how true this is but my friend who is a lesbian said that the LGBT community might not be too fond of people like me because they will think that I'm just messing around with labels and trying to be edgy.

What is the best way to get comfortable with my sexuality?
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Anonymous #1
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I have felt emotionally attached to girls but only in a sense that they were my best friend or I wanted them to be. I was never sexually attracted to the girls I got emotionally attached to.
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Blondie987
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have felt emotionally attached to girls but only in a sense that they were my best friend or I wanted them to be. I was never sexually attracted to the girls I got emotionally attached to.
Obviously you know your sexuality more than anyone else but it sounds to me like you're bi but you're just not willing to properly entertain the idea of being in a relationship with a girl as you've been so used to seeing yourself with a guy. If you don't want a relationship with a girl that's fine but don't be afraid of your feelings and remember that your sexuality is your own and you don't need to label or do anything you don't want to
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Anonymous #1
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I would rather just go with the flow for now. This is how I see myself at the moment but I don't rule out the possibility that one day I could fall for a girl who I am also attracted to. I just want to figure out how to handle my sexuality before I waste my best years away and realise that I had been missing out somehow :P
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username1623349
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OP, I'm a heteroromantic bisexual too. It's absolutely fine to just go with the flow and do whatever makes you happy. Just because you're in a relationship with a man it doesn't mean you aren't sexually attracted to women. Just do whatever makes you happy - it doesn't matter how you define yourself or how others define you; as long as you're happy, that's what matters.
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charlie-hh
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As a member of the L in LGBT+ I'm really not bothered or upset by your sexuality or think that you are trying to be edgy. I think in the space of the internet you could find some people like that, but unfortunately that is life. You are you and don't be apologetic for it, if you find a label that feel fits you best and feel comfortable with it then use that label, and if you don't have a particular way of defining yourself then don't worry about needing a label.
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Veov
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I have been considering myself Bisexual for several years. I belong to a RP community and I equally balance being male/female and entertain several others with male/female, male/male, and female/female scenarios. Sometimes I really wish I had the opposite sex's genitals to experience it and truly see what its like to be like them. I know -gender- wise I am very much in the middle of male/female and am very comfortable with it. However I'm fairly scared of genitals in general and as much as I might admire my same sex, they have never shown me the aspects I'm looking for in a partner. I have only ever been in relationships physical and romantical with my opposite sex as I'm not interested in most of how my same sex act. However my opposing sex tends to have some of the markers I prefer fairly regularly. Thinking I could be a heteroromantic bisexual too...
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been attracted to both sexes for as long as I can remember. For religious reasons I kept the other side of my sexuality suppressed and wouldn't even think of exploring it but am free to do so now that I have broken free from the religious chains :P. Although I find girls just as sexually attractive as guys, a relationship with a girl does not appeal to me at all and I have only ever been romantically and sexually involved with guys.

The issue is that I don't feel that I can be open about my sexuality because a lot of people view girls like me as being bicurious and just looking to experiment, they probably won't believe that I am what I say even though I'm genuinely attracted to women. I'm not sure how true this is but my friend who is a lesbian said that the LGBT community might not be too fond of people like me because they will think that I'm just messing around with labels and trying to be edgy.

What is the best way to get comfortable with my sexuality?
I'm exactly the same as you, bisexual ex-muslim (donno if you're ex-muslim but I'm guessing), not sure if I could ever see myself in a full on relationship with a girl though, unless she was something really special.
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AperfectBalance
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Ok you are bisexual and you prefer male relationships. The point is?
Just be bi and have relationships with men and sex with women

What more do you want?
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Veov
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm exactly the same as you, bisexual ex-muslim (donno if you're ex-muslim but I'm guessing), not sure if I could ever see myself in a full on relationship with a girl though, unless she was something really special.
Actually I'm American raised as 'LDS' but never was forced to practice it. Religion for me has never been a factor. My mom raised me to be very balanced and I love that she did that (she didn't stuff me into one gender type dolls vs cars)
Most of my life was spent alone and seriously close to life ending twice as a youngster.
It took getting to now the family I adopted online and game dating to realize what I liked. I also threw in a lot of *cough cough* naughty watching and reading of things to find out what it was that I liked sexually in addition to just admiring a nice body or hearing a cool personality.

I'm also one of those people who NEEDS a firm grip on understanding where and how I am as a person so that I always have a safe base to return to, due to lack of family and religion. So for me to look back on everything i've done and realize no matter what I say/ feel/ do I keep going back toward being with the opposite sex. Something about it being there and being LOUDLY gendered toward their sex is comforting. Its like a lesbian loving girls but wanting a girl with that xtra member (A friend of mine was like that and found it) so I've been pretty conflicted lately.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Veov)
Actually I'm American raised as 'LDS' but never was forced to practice it. Religion for me has never been a factor. My mom raised me to be very balanced and I love that she did that (she didn't stuff me into one gender type dolls vs cars)
Most of my life was spent alone and seriously close to life ending twice as a youngster.
It took getting to now the family I adopted online and game dating to realize what I liked. I also threw in a lot of *cough cough* naughty watching and reading of things to find out what it was that I liked sexually in addition to just admiring a nice body or hearing a cool personality.

I'm also one of those people who NEEDS a firm grip on understanding where and how I am as a person so that I always have a safe base to return to, due to lack of family and religion. So for me to look back on everything i've done and realize no matter what I say/ feel/ do I keep going back toward being with the opposite sex. Something about it being there and being LOUDLY gendered toward their sex is comforting. Its like a lesbian loving girls but wanting a girl with that xtra member (A friend of mine was like that and found it) so I've been pretty conflicted lately.
Oh that's great that your mum didn't brainwash you or force you into things! My mum is the complete opposite. She brainwashed me as a youngster, told me I'll burn in hell if i dont do this and that etc. Told me I need to get married to a respectable religious man before the age of 30. Controlled my social life, my money, even the way I looked - she never let me have my hair cut (it used to be long and scraggly to the point I could sit on my hair) until I grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped it off myself. I too fell into depression, a lot of self harm... my teenage years were the worst years of my life.

I was 17 before I realised that all the religious brainwashing my parents did to me was absolute BS, mostly thanks to TSR actually! And now I'm at uni I've finally had a chance to explore my sexuality and realised I'm definitely into girls as well as guys, but I find most female personalities too much for me to handle / to actually find them psychologically attractive enough to take things further! Or maybe I've just met the wrong girls...
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Veov
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I was 17 before I realised that all the religious brainwashing my parents did to me was absolute BS, mostly thanks to TSR actually! And now I'm at uni I've finally had a chance to explore my sexuality and realised I'm definitely into girls as well as guys, but I find most female personalities too much for me to handle / to actually find them psychologically attractive enough to take things further! Or maybe I've just met the wrong girls...
Mom knew from her own experiences that religion was not going to keep people from doing the wrong things. My father was dishonorably discharged from both the Military AND his religious Mission because of sexual and fraudulent acts. She also knew that it would be cruel to me to try and force those kids of things on me (about acting like my sex as society dubs it 'acting like your gender') so she preferred me be able to choose how I was gender wise.
However when i've tried talking to her about my being bisexual in the past (She is very 'tolerant' of it, and we don't really talk any more she and I are too volatile together) she would turn around with this death stare and this almost 'godlike fear be upon you!' voice tone and tell me I better not be experimenting because "You are a heterosexual person! You cannot and never will be homosexual or bisexual you are just very -sexual-" so it took me a few years to figure out if she was right or if I was letting her get to me and I felt freely bisexual.
Also is there a way we can talk more on messaging? I feel like I'm cluttering up your post!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm exactly the same as you, bisexual ex-muslim (donno if you're ex-muslim but I'm guessing), not sure if I could ever see myself in a full on relationship with a girl though, unless she was something really special.
I an an ex-Muslim, you are correct

Girls are just as attractive as guys but I have never felt that passionate love for a girl that I have for certain guys, just random attachments which don't last very long.
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Qz32
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That’s the exact response she may have been afraid of though. It’s exactly what she said, that people will just say she’s this or that, but she means exactly what she said. I identify as heteroromantic bisexual as well. There is no notion in either of heads about a relationship with the same sex, so please don’t try to say anything about “proper” sexuality, because as much as you’d hate it if someone discreditited your sexuality, we would hate you to discredit ours.
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Anonymous #3
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I have been wondering how to describe myself. I am HAPPILY married and I love my husband! I can not imagine being with anyone else. He has everything I want and is sexually, emotionally, and romatically attractive to me, But I have noticed I find women sexually attractive. I don’t want a relationship with them. Actually I have never found any women in real life (meaning not on tv or in a picture or porn) attractive like this. So like I completely get this. And luckily my husband is so supportive of this. He loves me for who I am. I got really lucky. It’s cool to know I’m not alone.
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Thisisme1233
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I am reading this for the the first time and thank you for this! I am absolutely so happy with my husband but am finding I am identifying at heteromatic bisexual. I got nervous to what this meant but I’m going to do what is making me happy. He is my person and I know this. I find him all the things! Physically, emotionally, and Romantically attractive and I absolutely love him! I just got nervous thinking about people who come out after married as bisexual and get a divorce and I don’t want that at all. He is so supportive of how I feel. Like I said this heteromantic thing seems exactly what I am.
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cedrigsparkle
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You can feel only romantic to one gender. Sex isnt love. Shes not in denial. She loves men and their bodies, she loves womens bodies, not them. Its easy to understand when you feel it.
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candydiva
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I am the opposite... a homoromantic bi- girl!

I love it when I can share romantic feelings and exchanges with a girl. I love sex with girls. I like to be in a rel with a girl and I see myself sharing an apartment with and living together with a female later.

But, I love master and what he delivers. I don't want romantic gestures from him which is prob good coz he's not into that either but I do need a hard ride, with a real man. I also feel empowered by him to be me in a way that I cannot be with a woman. I am also bad. I will confess one time when my gf (lesbian) was sending me poem via msg, I wanted master to have sex with me. I wrote her flowery notes while he was doing me... he wanted to leave me alone to respond to my gf but I wanted him to continue... I found this ultra-exciting. I msgd gf as if I was masturbating but in fact he was playing with me. I know this part is wrong coz my gf didn't know I was close to master in this way and would not want to share orgasm with him like I did.... but u know we aren't always good ppl. Girls can be kinky and bad and I have those characteristics too.
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tashkent46
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This thread is older than my nan.
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