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I'm slowly breaking-Advice needed (Long read but appreciated) watch

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    Hello there,

    Well, where do I start. So, from the beginning, Me and a girl were best friends for almost 2 years. Despite being 'best friends' I had always had feelings for her from the very start. At the beginning of 2015 (January times) I realised we were slowly developing into more than just friends and that she was also getting feelings. However, at the same time, a close friend of mine was also very close with her. She would almost divide her time to spend half her time with me and my friend to the point of which people thought she was playing us both. So, that's the besides the point, me and her started to get very serious and she had slowly disconnected from her other 'best friend' and we were an official thing around April. However, I always thought to myself that I loved her 100000 times more then a I loved her, but might as well just get into a relationship and hope her feelings will get stronger. A week into our relationship (yes a week) I caught her talking to a supposedly 'childhood friend' who was several years older than her; There was a **** picture involved . I knew that she talked to this bloke however, she would always tell me she saw him as a brother so I really didn't pay it much attention as he was also several years older than her. So, I immediately broke up with her due to the fact that trust and loyalty is everything for me. I then disregarded my moral beliefs, and got back with her. After several weeks, I was that 'crazy boyfriend' as I had immense trust issues thus would immediately be checking her phone and all that usual crazy stuff. So after a month we broke up fully. I had let my brother as well as my mother know the whole story so they had completely despised this girl too ( especially my mother). After a few weeks, I was completely heartbroken and really wanted to get back with her. We started talking again a bit, then had eventually started getting sexual again. However, I thought to myself at this point I was choosing a girl over my family as when I was this girl I completely disregarded my family. Also, my mother had known this girls intentions and how she broke her own son's hurt. I thought I could never convince my mother or my brother that this girl was actually a good girl with the right intentions (something I doubted my self). I officially ended everything at June and thought I would immediately get better. However, it is almost a year later and there hasn't been a day that has gone past where I have not thought about this girl. She now has a boyfriend. I do really think I'm in love but my mother and brother have complete distaste towards this girl as she honestly destroyed me during a vital period of my life (GCSES). I honestly do not known what to do. Everyone still see's us as the 'perfect couple' and rumour has it she still thinks I'm the one despite her having a boyfriend. Should I completely go against my moral beliefs of loyalty and trust as well as the respect of my brother and mother by attempting to start things with her again ( after her and her boyfriend break up) Or should I just try once and for all to get over a girl who has brought so much hurt to a kind heart. All advice appreciated and if you have read this long, God bless you and I appreciate all opinions, I need someone to talk to about this.
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    Go kiss someone else. Anyone. Seriously.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello there,

    Well, where do I start. So, from the beginning, Me and a girl were best friends for almost 2 years. Despite being 'best friends' I had always had feelings for her from the very start. At the beginning of 2015 (January times) I realised we were slowly developing into more than just friends and that she was also getting feelings. However, at the same time, a close friend of mine was also very close with her. She would almost divide her time to spend half her time with me and my friend to the point of which people thought she was playing us both. So, that's the besides the point, me and her started to get very serious and she had slowly disconnected from her other 'best friend' and we were an official thing around April. However, I always thought to myself that I loved her 100000 times more then a I loved her, but might as well just get into a relationship and hope her feelings will get stronger. A week into our relationship (yes a week) I caught her talking to a supposedly 'childhood friend' who was several years older than her; There was a **** picture involved . I knew that she talked to this bloke however, she would always tell me she saw him as a brother so I really didn't pay it much attention as he was also several years older than her. So, I immediately broke up with her due to the fact that trust and loyalty is everything for me. I then disregarded my moral beliefs, and got back with her. After several weeks, I was that 'crazy boyfriend' as I had immense trust issues thus would immediately be checking her phone and all that usual crazy stuff. So after a month we broke up fully. I had let my brother as well as my mother know the whole story so they had completely despised this girl too ( especially my mother). After a few weeks, I was completely heartbroken and really wanted to get back with her. We started talking again a bit, then had eventually started getting sexual again. However, I thought to myself at this point I was choosing a girl over my family as when I was this girl I completely disregarded my family. Also, my mother had known this girls intentions and how she broke her own son's hurt. I thought I could never convince my mother or my brother that this girl was actually a good girl with the right intentions (something I doubted my self). I officially ended everything at June and thought I would immediately get better. However, it is almost a year later and there hasn't been a day that has gone past where I have not thought about this girl. She now has a boyfriend. I do really think I'm in love but my mother and brother have complete distaste towards this girl as she honestly destroyed me during a vital period of my life (GCSES). I honestly do not known what to do. Everyone still see's us as the 'perfect couple' and rumour has it she still thinks I'm the one despite her having a boyfriend. Should I completely go against my moral beliefs of loyalty and trust as well as the respect of my brother and mother by attempting to start things with her again ( after her and her boyfriend break up) Or should I just try once and for all to get over a girl who has brought so much hurt to a kind heart. All advice appreciated and if you have read this long, God bless you and I appreciate all opinions, I need someone to talk to about this.
    I dont even have to read all of that to tell you this is wrong. Ive been in so many 'ok' relationships ive lost count. Then one day i met this amazing guy who can stare at me for hours, not saying 1 word and still be smiling. He barely uses his facebook because he only has time for me, and hes in that deep of a stare he doesnt even hear his phone ring.
    My advice is walk. And if you have to think about staying, or you think you can work things out- my advice is right. It should have never got to this stage, its not meant to be and as long as you're with the wrong person, the right one can't be there with you.
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    How do you know she has a new bf?
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    If u get with her ur gonna ruin your life. You need to be independent without thinking of her man. I was with a girl during gcses and its thst ever worst thing happened. Do things to make urself busy, pick up new habits. This is your time to find your true self and start experimenting. Go gym, talk to other girls, play sports etc. Just make sure you're being productive. Some people are toxic for you just focus on yourself. I know myself how hard it is, you think theres a chance to get back together but don't fall for it.

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    I know from experience

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    No, leave it. Her family will never like her and you've said yourself that you don't believe that she has good intentions. She cheated on you when you did absolutely nothing wrong, then you got back with her, showing you're a pushover, which she'll exploit. If she's cheated once she'll cheat again.

    You deserve better. She ****ed you up during your exams, and you'll never fully trust her because she's cheated on you in the past. She's not worth it.
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    To add to my original post, A mother is never wrong, please believe that. She has raised you and knows you better than anyone else.

    And if this girl loved you, she wouldnt be physically able to have a boyfriend.
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    The fact that she has a boyfriend right now but had apparently been telling people that she actually thinks you are "the one" shows she still hasn't got a loyal or faithful bone in her body. If she thinks that SHE should dump her boyfriend and be begging for you take her back, but she isn't. Date other girls, try to forget her and don't let this one mess up any more of your life. You've already lost and risked enough for her.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by HFBS)
    Go kiss someone else. Anyone. Seriously.
    (Original post by GreekTea)
    I dont even have to read all of that to tell you this is wrong. Ive been in so many 'ok' relationships ive lost count. Then one day i met this amazing guy who can stare at me for hours, not saying 1 word and still be smiling. He barely uses his facebook because he only has time for me, and hes in that deep of a stare he doesnt even hear his phone ring.
    My advice is walk. And if you have to think about staying, or you think you can work things out- my advice is right. It should have never got to this stage, its not meant to be and as long as you're with the wrong person, the right one can't be there with you.
    (Original post by Rtdsv)
    If u get with her ur gonna ruin your life. You need to be independent without thinking of her man. I was with a girl during gcses and its thst ever worst thing happened. Do things to make urself busy, pick up new habits. This is your time to find your true self and start experimenting. Go gym, talk to other girls, play sports etc. Just make sure you're being productive. Some people are toxic for you just focus on yourself. I know myself how hard it is, you think theres a chance to get back together but don't fall for it.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    No, leave it. Her family will never like her and you've said yourself that you don't believe that she has good intentions. She cheated on you when you did absolutely nothing wrong, then you got back with her, showing you're a pushover, which she'll exploit. If she's cheated once she'll cheat again.

    You deserve better. She ****ed you up during your exams, and you'll never fully trust her because she's cheated on you in the past. She's not worth it.
    (Original post by GreekTea)
    To add to my original post, A mother is never wrong, please believe that. She has raised you and knows you better than anyone else.

    And if this girl loved you, she wouldnt be physically able to have a boyfriend.
    (Original post by Katarvi)
    The fact that she has a boyfriend right now but had apparently been telling people that she actually thinks you are "the one" shows she still hasn't got a loyal or faithful bone in her body. If she thinks that SHE should dump her boyfriend and be begging for you take her back, but she isn't. Date other girls, try to forget her and don't let this one mess up any more of your life. You've already lost and risked enough for her.
    Thanks for all your comments, they are truly helping
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    OP, feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk or want advice.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello there,

    Well, where do I start. So, from the beginning, Me and a girl were best friends for almost 2 years. Despite being 'best friends' I had always had feelings for her from the very start. At the beginning of 2015 (January times) I realised we were slowly developing into more than just friends and that she was also getting feelings. However, at the same time, a close friend of mine was also very close with her. She would almost divide her time to spend half her time with me and my friend to the point of which people thought she was playing us both. So, that's the besides the point, me and her started to get very serious and she had slowly disconnected from her other 'best friend' and we were an official thing around April. However, I always thought to myself that I loved her 100000 times more then a I loved her, but might as well just get into a relationship and hope her feelings will get stronger. A week into our relationship (yes a week) I caught her talking to a supposedly 'childhood friend' who was several years older than her; There was a **** picture involved . I knew that she talked to this bloke however, she would always tell me she saw him as a brother so I really didn't pay it much attention as he was also several years older than her. So, I immediately broke up with her due to the fact that trust and loyalty is everything for me. I then disregarded my moral beliefs, and got back with her. After several weeks, I was that 'crazy boyfriend' as I had immense trust issues thus would immediately be checking her phone and all that usual crazy stuff. So after a month we broke up fully. I had let my brother as well as my mother know the whole story so they had completely despised this girl too ( especially my mother). After a few weeks, I was completely heartbroken and really wanted to get back with her. We started talking again a bit, then had eventually started getting sexual again. However, I thought to myself at this point I was choosing a girl over my family as when I was this girl I completely disregarded my family. Also, my mother had known this girls intentions and how she broke her own son's hurt. I thought I could never convince my mother or my brother that this girl was actually a good girl with the right intentions (something I doubted my self). I officially ended everything at June and thought I would immediately get better. However, it is almost a year later and there hasn't been a day that has gone past where I have not thought about this girl. She now has a boyfriend. I do really think I'm in love but my mother and brother have complete distaste towards this girl as she honestly destroyed me during a vital period of my life (GCSES). I honestly do not known what to do. Everyone still see's us as the 'perfect couple' and rumour has it she still thinks I'm the one despite her having a boyfriend. Should I completely go against my moral beliefs of loyalty and trust as well as the respect of my brother and mother by attempting to start things with her again ( after her and her boyfriend break up) Or should I just try once and for all to get over a girl who has brought so much hurt to a kind heart. All advice appreciated and if you have read this long, God bless you and I appreciate all opinions, I need someone to talk to about this.
    First loves are always hard to forget but really thats what you need to do. Everyone copes differently and it could take ages for you to move on but your long term happiness is way more crucial than your short term. Sure, things could be great for a bit but you'll never be able to fully trust her and forgive her for what she did. You dont deserve to be unhappy and as horrible as she was she doesnt deserve to be in a relationship where she isnt trusted (even if there is a really good explaination for why she isnt trusted).Dont foget trust is key in a relationship.
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    It sounds like she hasn't got a clue how she feels but it is unfair that she has mucked you around like that. Better off without her I think.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    It sounds like she hasn't got a clue how she feels but it is unfair that she has mucked you around like that. Better off without her I think.
    Indeed I think too.
 
 
 
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